My boyfriend and I are planning to get engaged. What I thought would be this summer, has recently turned into soon (My future mother-in-law let it slip that he bought a ring! Eeee!). We have talked about it, and decided we won't get married until October 2016 (three years away). He is going back to school with a career change and won't graduate until December 2015. We figured this would give us about 9 months to get our acts together with his new career. Is it too soon to be getting engaged if our wedding isn't for three years? Should this even bother me? We love each other and that's what should matter, right?
P.S. we've been together since 7th grade--ELEVEN YEARS!!
How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
FH and I will have been engaged for over 2 years by our wedding, and I've seen some almost-4-year engagements on here! It doesn't matter. To me, the longer engagement gives you more time to save up and plan your dream wedding! I wouldn't give it another thought.
guitarstikibars
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
everyone is different. being engaged isn't something to get through on the way to marriage ... i believe being engaged takes your relationship to a whole new level. you're just going to have more time to explore that new dimension in your relationship together.
MsA2MrsA
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
I'm having a little over 2 year engagement.
Poggi
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How long is too long to be engaged?
Be engaged for as long as you want to be engaged. If you're not engaged for a long enough time people will talk too! Do what works for you guys.
Jott1015
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
We have also been together a long time (8 1/2 years) and we are having 2 1/2 year engagement. Friends of ours are having a longer engagement. Just plenty more time to save and plan without all the stress and craziness knowing that you don't have a lot of time! Just my opinion
larlynn
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Re: How long is too long to be engaged?
Posted by Poggi
Be engaged for as long as you want to be engaged.
I agree 100%. However, if you're anxious to get married it might be a tough 4 years. I'm having a 1.5 year engagement and only now, 7 weeks before the wedding, is it starting to feel close. Time did not fly as quickly as I thought it would.
xoxlilqtexox1
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
We are engaged almost 2yrs and counting lol Were planning on a 2016 wedding also. I would rather wait and save than ruin the experience rushing and stressing about money. There's no rules. Do what's best for you. Also my future SIL has been engaged for like 12yrs at least. They had two kids since then but life got in the way and now they finally set a date for next year. Like I said there's no rules. Enjoy the engagement and be happy :)
cconaty94
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
I could have written this post myself. FH and I will be engaged just a week shy of 3 years at the time of our wedding.
I loved getting engaged because it took us to the next level of seriousness. We had just graduated college and felt we were ready to make the serious commitment. We were moving away from our families and into our own place and it felt right to know we were officially planning to spend forever together.
2 years later... Okay so I was able to book everything I wanted for the wedding at 2012 prices for a 2014 wedding which is awesome! However, no one was truly interested in hearing me talk wedding for the first two years. It kind of put a weird spin on things. I dont feel like I am a 'star' for the year, with everyone anticipating my big day. Its like they got tired of anticipating it. In addition...plans before careers and paychecks caused me a TON of headaches. I actually just found out today that I got a job, so I am finally relieved I will be able to enjoy wedding planning. My point with this story is sometimes the long term planning doesnt fit in with reality. I kind of wish we waited until we were very secure in our personal lives.
That said, I wouldnt have changed my long engagement. It was what FH and I felt was appropriate for us, and we still do. We have gotten to really enjoy what it means to plan the rest of your life with someone without it getting mixed in all of the vendor appointments and dress fittings. I know people who got engaged and never made any plans. Now its 5 years later and a wedding doesnt mean much to them. I dont see whats wrong with taking the next step but giving some serious thought to an appropriate timeline for your lives. It seems smart and sound.
Sugaplum111905
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
FH and I have been engaged for 3 years and 3 months before our wedding Friday. We bought a house and took our time renovating. If you are okay with waiting than it shouldn't be a problem. Once you get engaged it does take your relationship to another level so take your time and enjoy that. Plus 3 years fly by so fast.
lauren1802
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
we were engaged for 2 years and it was perfect for US but everyone is different.
It's true what cconaty94 said -- no one (else) really gets into it until you are less than a year out.
MrsDtoBe
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
I don't think there is ever a set time limit. We picked our time based on when we thought we would be financially ready.
Soon2BeMrsMango
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
For me personally it would be too long but my cousin had a 3 year and 3 month engagement. Who cares what anyone else thinks, do what is best for you & FH!
melhunny46
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
We have over a 2 year engagement and it was fine. It gave us some time to save some money. Just be prepared for people to ask why are you waiting so long? LOL. They did that to me all the time, but I didn't care! Whatever works best for you!
aiavaro1
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
I will be engaged for about 3 years when I get married and I loved every minute of it. I was able to enjoy my engagement without feeling rushed and having to do the next thing. Also I was able to take my time with planning the wedding. It has been such smooth sailing because of that and such a blissful time. We were also able to save money and not throw an engagement party, bridal shower and wedding at people too fast.
rcotter90
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
Thanks all!! I really appreciate the advice!! I'm definitely gonna take it and enjoy it, knowing we are doing what is right for us!! =D
MissToMrs
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
Your definitely not alone. I to have a similar story met fh at 15 got engaged at 24 so we dated 9 years and we will have a 28 month engagement!
mrzsoontobejames
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How long is too long to be engaged? - Long Island Weddings
No worries I got engaged 3 years ago.. I been on this forum since then LOL watched everyone here get married but my reasoning is because me and the FH are almost done w paying off all our debt so in the end we will start a marriage off with zero bills. So in the end the wait is worth it...
angelicd77
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Re: How long is too long to be engaged?
Posted by Lori0413
FH and I will have been engaged for over 2 years by our wedding, and I've seen some almost-4-year engagements on here! It doesn't matter. To me, the longer engagement gives you more time to save up and plan your dream wedding! I wouldn't give it another thought.
Thats me!! Fh and I got engaged 12/24/2009. We're getting married next Saturday. Do whats best for you guys. Nobody else matters.
coffeeisgreen
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Re: How long is too long to be engaged?
I've enjoyed reading everyone's answers! I agree, it all depends on what feels right for you. We got engaged on June 5th of this year and originally kept telling vendors June of 2015. But by the 9th and final place we saw (and ended up booking), we had changed our minds and went with fall of 2014. We just decided we didn't want to wait that long. We have been dating since early 2009 but met a year prior so really we have felt married for a long time and would have loved to have been married sooner than 2014...hence not wanting to wait 2 years. Glad we talked ourselves out of a longer engagement!
