how many break ups??

Planning a wedding is a stressful time for couples. How many of you brides have broken up with you FH since you got engaged.

My FH and I broke up twice already, we argued about the stupidest details and both got way to stressed.

Is this normal? share your stories...

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Posted by prncssrachel

I may get flamed for this, but if you are plannig on marrying each other, you really need to handle arguments so that you don't get so overwhelmed that you break up. That's serious as far as I'm concerned. We were engaged for two and a half years and faced some incredibly difficult, stressful times, but I would NEVER break off my engagement to him. What will happen once you are married? If you think planning a wedding is stressful, wait until you are married. It's not all rainbows and flowers and candle light dinners. It's hard WORK. Maybe you and your FH would benefit from some counseling to learn how to manage your fights.

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Well said.

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Posted by prncssrachel

I may get flamed for this, but if you are plannig on marrying each other, you really need to handle arguments so that you don't get so overwhelmed that you break up. That's serious as far as I'm concerned. We were engaged for two and a half years and faced some incredibly difficult, stressful times, but I would NEVER break off my engagement to him. What will happen once you are married? If you think planning a wedding is stressful, wait until you are married. It's not all rainbows and flowers and candle light dinners. It's hard WORK. Maybe you and your FH would benefit from some counseling to learn how to manage your fights.

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couldn't agree more. if you can't handle the stress of a wedding without 'breaking up'...how do you plan on being in a marriage???!?!?! what about finances? children? responsibilities?

i think you need to re-evaluate your reasons for wanting to get married and your entire relationship itself. yes planning a wedding is stressful--but in the grand scheme of things, it's nothing compared to the amount of issues that actually come up in a marriage.

the wedding is just one day--after the music ends, the cake is cut, and the guests leave-all your left with is a husband and wife.

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by prncssrachel

I may get flamed for this, but if you are plannig on marrying each other, you really need to handle arguments so that you don't get so overwhelmed that you break up. That's serious as far as I'm concerned. We were engaged for two and a half years and faced some incredibly difficult, stressful times, but I would NEVER break off my engagement to him. What will happen once you are married? If you think planning a wedding is stressful, wait until you are married. It's not all rainbows and flowers and candle light dinners. It's hard WORK. Maybe you and your FH would benefit from some counseling to learn how to manage your fights.

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couldn't agree more. if you can't handle the stress of a wedding without 'breaking up'...how do you plan on being in a marriage???!?!?! what about finances? children? responsibilities?

i think you need to re-evaluate your reasons for wanting to get married and your entire relationship itself. yes planning a wedding is stressful--but in the grand scheme of things, it's nothing compared to the amount of issues that actually come up in a marriage.

the wedding is just one day--after the music ends, the cake is cut, and the guests leave-all your left with is a husband and wife.

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I hate to say it because i'm sure you were looking for some comfort by posting this... but i agree with the rest of the girls. Breaking up, especially more than once during your engagement is not a good thing. Weddings should be fun and so should the planning, in my opinion!

I must say I agree with everyone also. I think you need to take a good look at why you are arguing and more importantly HOW you are arguing that would lead you to that point. You need to remember that marriage is about commitment, devotion, trust, loyalty, and most important about being on the SAME TEAM. If you aren't playing together you are playing against and thats not good. Everyone fights and argues but maybe you need to take a closer look at the situation...
HTH

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Posted by lovetolove

Thanks girls..I know you are all right, we need to mature a little more, we're both so stubborn and neither one is willing to compromise. Thanks for the help, really, needed to hear how it should be....

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Hang in there. Try talking about how you guys fight, but not while you're both upset. We did this and it helped. But you both have to make the effort to change your fighting patterns. If you guys really want to make the change, you will. Good luck

We aren't in lala land - we have financial problems, and I am coming into insta family - we have bigger problems than wedding issues - if we can handle the big life problems, a 5 hour party is no big deal....

We fight, but we always make up and try to learn from what we fought about. We make it work no matter what....sometimes I truly cannot stand him and I;m sure he feels the same about me but at the end of the day I love him and with him is where I belong.

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Posted by prncssrachel

I may get flamed for this, but if you are plannig on marrying each other, you really need to handle arguments so that you don't get so overwhelmed that you break up. That's serious as far as I'm concerned. We were engaged for two and a half years and faced some incredibly difficult, stressful times, but I would NEVER break off my engagement to him. What will happen once you are married? If you think planning a wedding is stressful, wait until you are married. It's not all rainbows and flowers and candle light dinners. It's hard WORK. Maybe you and your FH would benefit from some counseling to learn how to manage your fights.

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I have to agree. FH and I have been together for 5 years and we never broke up. Now that we are engaged, it sort of seals the deal. No matter how much stress there has been, and there has been a lot, we have never thought of breaking up! GOOD LUCK!!!

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Posted by prncssrachel

I may get flamed for this, but if you are plannig on marrying each other, you really need to handle arguments so that you don't get so overwhelmed that you break up. That's serious as far as I'm concerned. We were engaged for two and a half years and faced some incredibly difficult, stressful times, but I would NEVER break off my engagement to him. What will happen once you are married? If you think planning a wedding is stressful, wait until you are married. It's not all rainbows and flowers and candle light dinners. It's hard WORK. Maybe you and your FH would benefit from some counseling to learn how to manage your fights.

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I agree 100%

wedding planning is very stressful, but so is buying a house, planning and having a family. this is just the beginning for you both and life is definitely not always blissful.

I agree that perhaps some couple's counseling would help.

good luck

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Posted by dleeny

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Posted by prncssrachel

I may get flamed for this, but if you are plannig on marrying each other, you really need to handle arguments so that you don't get so overwhelmed that you break up. That's serious as far as I'm concerned. We were engaged for two and a half years and faced some incredibly difficult, stressful times, but I would NEVER break off my engagement to him. What will happen once you are married? If you think planning a wedding is stressful, wait until you are married. It's not all rainbows and flowers and candle light dinners. It's hard WORK. Maybe you and your FH would benefit from some counseling to learn how to manage your fights.

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I agree 100%

wedding planning is very stressful, but so is buying a house, planning and having a family. this is just the beginning for you both and life is definitely not always blissful.

I agree that perhaps some couple's counseling would help.

good luck

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I totally agree. While it might seem like important issues to fight over a reception location, flowers, and tuxes, that is nothing compared to children, where to live, finances, etc. You've been engaged a little over a month and broken up twice--that is not normal. I would definitely get counseling if you want to get married. If you're having second thoughts, put things on hold for a while and re-evaluate. Good luck!

ETA: I'm not going to say many couples don't break up during the planning process, because they do. I've been on LIW a few years now and I cannot count the number of girls who were engaged and did not get married, and several got divorced soon after the wedding. It's best to find out before the wedding whether you can work together making important decisions as a couple.