how many break ups??

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Posted by prncssrachel

I may get flamed for this, but if you are plannig on marrying each other, you really need to handle arguments so that you don't get so overwhelmed that you break up. That's serious as far as I'm concerned. We were engaged for two and a half years and faced some incredibly difficult, stressful times, but I would NEVER break off my engagement to him. What will happen once you are married? If you think planning a wedding is stressful, wait until you are married. It's not all rainbows and flowers and candle light dinners. It's hard WORK. Maybe you and your FH would benefit from some counseling to learn how to manage your fights.

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i agree. my dh was laid off 2x's while we were engaged. the first time, a week after we got engaged. it was stressful but we made it through it

Totally agreed.

I was never the Break up/Make up type, but still if you're going to break up everytime there's a disagreement, well maybe you're not ready to get married.

Even through all the problems and stress of planning a wedding, it was DH and I going through those stresses together, not him putting me through those stresses.

I do and don't agree...

We aren't young pups - in our 30's so I'm not sure how much more mature either of us will get, but we've had a long engagement and we knew from the beginning it would be... our original engagement was in March of 2003, we had started living together a few months before that and bought a house that summer... the following October I did a stupid dramatic thing that I didn't think would go the way it did... FH and I were fighting and he wouldn't listen to me, so to get him to shut up and listen... I THREW MY ENGAGEMENT RING in his face and said 'take back that stupid piece of crap!'

Well he took it back... for 9 months. I didn't want to end our engagement, that wasn't my point... I wanted him to shut up and listen... but what did we learn... well, we learned how to communicate like ADULTS! Well, we stayed together in the months that followed and continued living together. However, to our friends and family the engagement had been broken off. This broke my heart, not b/c of a piece of jewlery, but b/c of what that meant to FH and my future.

July 4, 2004 I got my ring back and our engagement was formally back on. But I will never do something that stupid again, unless I really mean it. I guess my point here in this ramble is - start thinking about why you break up... for us we needed to figure out what we needed from eachother and how to ask for it without sacrificing ourselves or the other person if that makes any sense. If you are breaking up b/c of external factors or stress, learn how to handle your stress better or read a book on communication in relationships. Hope that helps!

I agree with everyone else here. We've had our share of fights, sometimes over the dumbest things, but not once did either one of us ever break up or break off the engagement. The closest we ever came was when I had an accident with his car, and handed him the ring back and told him I didn't deserve him, and he said I was crazy.

All couples argue. Anyone who tells you they don't is either lying or just hasn't reached that stage of their relationship yet. It's always about communication and compromise. Those are the main factors in a relationship and marriage.

I know where you are coming from with having someone that's stubborn, FH and I BOTH are very stubborn. However, we have both agreed to listen. Sadly, a lot of couples are so busy giving their own opinion or view, that they are not listening to their partner. You should both try listening and maybe taking a time out when things get heated, instead of being so quick to break things off. Doing that means there are more underlying issues (maybe a fear of losing independence, which is a scary thing in of itself) that you both have to confront.

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Posted by prncssrachel

I may get flamed for this, but if you are plannig on marrying each other, you really need to handle arguments so that you don't get so overwhelmed that you break up. That's serious as far as I'm concerned. We were engaged for two and a half years and faced some incredibly difficult, stressful times, but I would NEVER break off my engagement to him. What will happen once you are married? If you think planning a wedding is stressful, wait until you are married. It's not all rainbows and flowers and candle light dinners. It's hard WORK. Maybe you and your FH would benefit from some counseling to learn how to manage your fights.

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Don't mean to get you down, but I think this is great advice.