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How many bridesmaids?

Angelicanka Posted:

How many bridesmaids?

I have been going out of my mind and end up in tears each time.

Mrs. V 2008 Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

I would only put your close friends in..you don't owe anybody anything..its your wedding...don't feel obligated to put people in if you don't feel comfortable with it..i have 6 and i also felt that way..but being in the bridal party is a huge responsibility so if some people can't take on this responsibilty don't put them in it

liangel901 Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

i have a matron of honor and three other bridesmaids. i dint want a big bridal party and neither did FH. i guess we just chose the people who we really felt we wanted to be a part of our special day.... im sorry im not much help. i dint really have an obligations, i guess. good luck!

chrispar Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

I have 1 MOH and 6 BM. Honestly it's your wedding and you shouldn't feel obligated to have people in it that you do not want to be in it

Angelicanka Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

Part of the problem is that my fiance is close friends with my male cousins so his mom feels its unfair that he includes them as his groomsmen and I don't include his family in my bridal party.

Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

I am only having a Matron of Honor - My sister
FH is having his older brother

2 ring bearers
1FG
TJ22908 Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

I told everyone from the very beginning that I didn't want to have people in the wedding just because I am only having 1 MOH & 3 BM, then 5 kids but I don't really count them. I think its your wedding and if you don't feel that there that important then why should they be in YOUR wedding!!! Thats how I feel at least!

catsgirl Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

2 moh
2 maids
4 bm
3 jr bm
2 fg
musicgrl79 Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

if it makes u feel any better i have 12 BMs!!! i had to add two (FHs nieces) because he promised them many years ago they could be in our wedding. i mean now i dont mind because i am very close with them but i know how u feel. the girls in your bridal party should be people u are very close to.

ant n tilde Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

1 MOH 1 BM 2 Jr BM 2 FG


do not have people bc u feel obligated to . . . dont do that to yourself.
BNBride60 Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

i have one maid of honor
7 bridesmaids
1 junior bridesmaid

i asked 3 people out of obligation. it wasn't really formal 'obligation' - it was so that i wouldn't hurt anyone. these 3 people are 2 of my cousins and my FH's only female cousin. all 3 of these people are often 'left out.' the rest of my bridal are my dearest friends, my sister and my closest two cousins.

i know it stinks to have to ask people out of obligation, but i think the question to ask yourself is, will their feelings be hurt? that's how i decided. there were other people who were 'obligations' for me, but i didn't feel like they'd be hurt if i didn't ask them - if anything they might be snotty to me, but not out of hurt. FH's cousin actually cried when she got my will you be my BM card, and she said she couldn't believe it and is so thrilled. that made me feel really good and in the end i'm glad i asked her.
Angelicanka Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

Did any of you have to confront your in laws to get rid of the obligations?

Angelicanka Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

BNBride60 Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

Posted by Angelicanka

Did any of you have to confront your in laws to get rid of the obligations?


I didn't, but if I had, I would've said that it's a financial obligation for me and I can't take on the added expense of an additional BP member (i.e., bigger limo, more heads at rehersal dinner, more BP gifts, more flowers, etc.). I'd also say that I want to keep it intimate, and so I'm only asking the people who are the absolute closest to me and FH.
ChristineAaron08 Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

I have 1 MOH (sister) and 3 BMs (friends).

At first the FILs wanted ALL of FHs cousins in our BP. So I said what about ALL of my cousins??? We were up to 20 ppl in the BP. No way. Luckily we got off the hook b/c his girl cousins didnt put him in theirs.

I just dont believe in the whole family in the wedding party thing unless you are close with these people.

I know a lot of people will disagree, but I think that unless its a sister or brother, the bride picks the BM and the groom picks the GM.

Are FILs paying for any of the wedding. Remind them that the more ppl in the BP, the more your floral bill and attendants gifts.

Maybe you can have some of them do readings or something. I know that may not fly if FH was in their BP. I'm sorry. its always a sticky situation with these FILs. Stand your ground if you really feel it is out of hand and have FH back you up. Sorry- thats the only advice I have.
BNBride60 Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

My other suggestion is to tell FH to fend off his own parents. If FH's mom ever started demanding something, I'd totally make him handle it so I wouldn't have to deal with her.

Angelicanka Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

Thank you so much ladies. I'm new to this site, but I feel so much better chatting here....its really miserable going through this alone....I'm glad I found this. Thank you again.

BNBride60 Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

Posted by Angelicanka

Thank you so much ladies. I'm new to this site, but I feel so much better chatting here....its really miserable going through this alone....I'm glad I found this. Thank you again.


Anytime!!! That's why we're here!!! Otherwise we'd all be going crazy!!!
angl2001 Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

i have 7 my bestest ( and only) girl friends lol

Mici n KC Posted:

Re: How many bridesmaids?

Do not under any circumstances feel obligated to put anyone in your BP. If you were in someone's wedding and you really don't feel close to them then don't put them in yours. You want your BMs to be your very close friends.

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