within 1 week before the wedding we have 'lost' 9 guests who decide they cant come anymore. ***!!!! i am debating whether or not i will ever talk to some of these people again, i do not believe that their reasons are legit from 'oh i forgot to tell u i wont be bringing a guest' to 'i forgot i had to work'........i have never been fukced by so many people in my life. how many people did this to you, new brides? Vent Over.
MJDoc12
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
unfortunately sometimes this happens more so to you when you have it on a holiday weekend. (not that you shouldn't at all!) people start regretting saying yes and want to go away or 'party' and then start making up excuses to you.
just be happy for the ones that WILL make it and you'll have a great day!
snwb08
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
you didn't give your final count yet did you? we had to give ours the wednesday before; of course thursday my co-worker came in and told me he couldn't come because they couldn't get a babysitter.... for a day wedding, and he knew about it for how long? BUT i had two good friends come instead so it worked out; it was a little annoying since i had paid the night before. It happens and unfortunately people don't always care.
jessamyn78
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
With 8 days, we just had a new addition yesterday, but no one backing out! Now I am nervous!!!!
jessnstu08
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
Unless there is a true , valid reason , i would never talk to them again, especially if they were from my group that I invited. It has nothing to do about the money, its just RUDE and inconsiderate , and i don't need people like that in my life
MikeandJess
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
I do anticipate this and it's already making me angry! If they have a legit excuse I understand and it won't ruin my day and i'll be appreciative of all the friends and family that did show up. However, if people do not show up and I have to pay for their plates, I will hold grudges! It's ok to vent.
HappyPlanner
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
yes it's probably the most annoying part of a wedding..headcount, rsvp's, etc...
my favorite is, 'oh well can i rsvp 1 for now. my wife is on a business trip, but if it's canceled, she wants to come, but i won't know for another month!' (this which is wayyy past our RSVP date)
i had a friend rsvp that she was bringing a guest, a week before, she emails and says the guest 'can't make it.' well then why the heck did you rsvp +1????
my hubby's boss' wife ended up NOT coming and during the CH my hubby said to him 'where's your wife' and the boss shrugged and said 'she didn't want to come.' and my hubby said again with MORE emphasis....' WE SAVED A SEAT FOR HER.''' no apology nothing...!
2 other ppl couldnt make it but they had a legitimate excuse meaning their plane was canceled..so I couldnt be mad at them for it....
Some people just have no clue and am not considerate at all...what can you do....with me it's simple ...'YES or NO!' at least respond..!! I think people just don't know that you are paying PER HEAD for them and that it's not an event where you can pop your head in if you want to or not....
MIssBridalBliss
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
Quite a few......
My wealthy 1st cousin decided to call my mom (a single parent who worked 6 days a week to pay for my shower) at 9pm the night before to say she wasn't coming. And since she was driving her sister and her mother, they wouldn't be coming either.
At our e-party, FH cousins came and seemed really unpleased to be there. FH and I had just been served our dinner, (everyone else was eating and had been served) I mean we hadn't even cut into our meals yet- and his cousins came up to us to let us know they were leaving. When I asked if everything was OK, they said, 'Yeah, we have things to do, you know how it is'.... UMMM. Actually I don't know how it is to leave an Eparty before dinner is finished.
I always let FH handle issues with his family, I rarely get involved. But- I told FH if they were going to do that they just should have stayed home. It was INSULTING to not even provide a bogus excuse.
I actually couldn't make a wedding because I had strep throat. I FELT SO bad, but FH family knew (it was his cousin) I was just too ill. It worked out in the end because 2 people just showed up that had originally RSVP'd No.
irishgrl1017
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
Posted by KK Holiday
it is such a pain!!! but i've been on the other side of it too. FH's job requires him to be on call. So we've RSVPd to 2 weddings where at last minute he had to work. So I know what it feels like to show up without the guest you RSVPd with--feeling embarrassed and terrible about wasting the couples money.
You should still send a gift in a case like that. I got so sick one time right before a wedding, but you do the right thing and send a gift
price867
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
I think everyone has at least a few of these. We had a few that backed out last minute. Then my husbands college friend called him a few days before asking if he can bring a date. We had to make some last minute table arrangements.
Day of we had about 5 or 6 no-shows, but they said they were all sick. And I know some of them really were.
It's going to happen. Paying for them *****, but Your day is going to be wonderful regardless. Don't let it get to you.
ligirlz
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
This happened to me with my cousins on my mom's side. They all RSVP's (all10) yes then 2 weeks before they all decide to say no. They were all excited too. My one cousin got in a fight with my mom and then the cousin told everyone not to go so they all listen. I didn't give a rat's *** anyway because I had more than enough people. Then one cousin had the balls to invite me to his wedding so you know what I did I sent a check from DH and I for $25 and wrote a nice little note in there .
ETA: When a big event like this rolls around you usually find out who your real family and friends are. I did and I did not let it bother me and it should not bother you. Enjoy your day with people who care about you and FH.
davenjess
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
be lucky you were given advance notice. we were not & had a LOT of no-shows...
Maybe in the grand scheme of things - not a lot - but for a wedding with only 80 people, when 11 people don't show - it HURTS.
MayWeddingGrl
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
One week before the wedding I had one fmembers of my extended family tell my parents they didn't think 6 of them would come anymore! I was really upset about it, considering we had just confirmed the head count... it turned out they only had one car and didn't want to pay for car service to get there (cheapos!) so my parents footed the bill for the car service for them and they came.
On our wedding day we had 6 people that didn't show up... some apologized the next day, but two people (that we considered good friends) still have not called yet to give an explanation why they didn't come... people can be messed up!
You wonder how they can be good friends and not want to be there for you on your day, esp. if you would want to be there for them!
Jenn5757
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
I had one person the monday before my wedding tell me that she couldn't get a babysitter and she knows that I can get my money back for her and her husband because you have 48 hours before the wedding to lock down the number...which she was wrong I had confirmed the number the friday before so I was out her plate and her husbands plate
KK Holiday
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
Posted by irishgrl1017
Posted by KK Holiday
it is such a pain!!! but i've been on the other side of it too. FH's job requires him to be on call. So we've RSVPd to 2 weddings where at last minute he had to work. So I know what it feels like to show up without the guest you RSVPd with--feeling embarrassed and terrible about wasting the couples money.
You should still send a gift in a case like that. I got so sick one time right before a wedding, but you do the right thing and send a gift
of course i sent a gift. i never i said i didnt. who are you to tell me to send a gift?
Fall Bride 2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
i wouldnt say i have gotten screwed i consider it a blessing because I reallized how wonderful life is with out the idiots that tried to screw me
irishgrl1017
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
Posted by KK Holiday
Posted by irishgrl1017
Posted by KK Holiday
it is such a pain!!! but i've been on the other side of it too. FH's job requires him to be on call. So we've RSVPd to 2 weddings where at last minute he had to work. So I know what it feels like to show up without the guest you RSVPd with--feeling embarrassed and terrible about wasting the couples money.
You should still send a gift in a case like that. I got so sick one time right before a wedding, but you do the right thing and send a gift
of course i sent a gift. i never i said i didnt. who are you to tell me to send a gift?
You said you wasted peoples money...if you give a gift and you are a no show...you are not wasting peoples money.
KC2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
I am in a similar boat. I invited a lot of college friends as well as my Fh's friends. And I think, in saving money (which IS important) they are all attending as singles. This is going to inevitably screw our count.
We had to guarantee 100 and now we're leaning toward 75 (which is a guess since people haven't responded yet) At this moment I have 35 Yes and 6 No.
Is it true that people wait until the last sec for the No?
I am thinking that maybe we should sell tickets to our wedding for upcoming brides that want to see what a wedding is like (this is a joke, but seriously... It could work).
drpepper318
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
The same thing happened to me. All these people who promised they'd come & RSVP'd 'yes' then all of a sudden had 'last minute emergencies' the week of the wedding OR just didn't bother to tell me at all they weren't coming and didn't send a gift either! Some people are SO rude & rotten.
missexcited
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
I plan to cut off all ties with anyone that does this to me last minute.....but thats just me Sorry you are going through this
mRm2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: how many people screwed u over? VENT
That burns me up as well. I went to a wedding where my date and I were the only two at a table set for ten. I felt sooooo bad for the bride and groom.
