I'm having a pretty small wedding, and think that I'm only going to have 3 attendants - my sister as MOH, and 2 BMs. But my two best girlfriends each live about two hours away from me, and we only see each other 3 or 4 times a year. I've always pictured those two girls as my BMs, but, other than standing with me in pretty dresses as I take my vows, I don't know how much they're 'supposed to' be helping me out with. I read somewhere online (TheKnot.com?) that BM duties include: helping pick out the BM dresses, attending the shower, and attending the bachelorette party. Is that really all? What duties/tasks/favors are you asking your BMs to do for your wedding?
GabrielleandJohn
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Re: How much are you asking your Bridesmaids to do?
My BM's are in charge of delegation/taking care of getting the keg to the hotel for the after party, and cups and chips. I am paying but they are in charge of telling the BF's or whoever to make it happen
And showing up and looking pretty.
drpepper318
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Re: How much are you asking your Bridesmaids to do?
I'm not asking my BM's to do anything for me other than show up in their dresses that day. As long as they do that, I'll be happy!!!
superkat
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Re: How much are you asking your Bridesmaids to do?
I asked my BM's to show up. LOL. I didn't want to set TOO high of an expectation.
Seriously though, my SIL was a BM and she did everything I could have asked, more than any other BM or my MOH. She listened, tossed around ideas with me, talked, anything. She was wonderful. She planned my bridal shower (which my MOH was no help)
Another one of my BM's planned my bachelorette party with me. That was nice of her. Another BM went dress shopping with me.
Other than that, I took care of everything. 4 out of 5 BM's were out of state so I wrote newsletters to them every month to keep everyone up to date!
AlBaBride
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Re: How much are you asking your Bridesmaids to do?
My bridesmaids consist of my sister (MOH) and my two best friends. All 3 live in the same neighborhood as I and each has expressed to me that they want to be involved in anything I need help with. My MOH is a computer genius, so she's helping create a template for my wedding programs, menus, etc. One of my bridesmaids is the most creative elementary school teacher in existence, so she's helping with my DIYs, and the other is my calming force, the one I can turn to when I just need to escape and vent...I'm very lucky!
july06bride
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Re: How much are you asking your Bridesmaids to do?
I had a smaller bridal party- 1 moh 2 bms 1 jr bm 1 fg
My moh got married 1 month before me-and I was her moh it was fun planning together and we did a lot for eachother!
1 bm- lives about an hour away-very busy -she came to try on dresses, came for my shower, came for bachelorette party weekend, was there for rehearsal and dinner-and stayed over night-wedding day
1 bm lives in DC and is in law school-was very busy and far away... came to try on dresses...not to shower...not to bachelorette party...was there for rehearsal and dinner and wedding
neither asked if they could do anything to help there was not much though... Moh, me and mom did it all! and fh too
fg's mother did A LOT of work with my mom for the shower...MOH helped too
JR bm /her mother-did nada
BUT, I understand that everyone has lives and I was NOT their priority...MOH totally understood cause she was going through the same stuff as me...
waterspout4
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Re: How much are you asking your Bridesmaids to do?
I didn't ask much. The closest one was 1 hour away and the others were from states away. I picked a bunch of BM dresses and emailed them the pictures and had them choose from pics. I pretty much put my shower together because I didn't know anyone on Long Island. But I had them choose how much they could afford because they paid for it. That same night we did the bachelorette party, so they didn't have to travel twice. Hope this helps!
