How much do you normally give as a wedding gift?

Original post by tm

Jan 03, 2005 03:31 PM

How much do you normally give as a wedding gift when you attend as a guest? I thought $100 per person was normal but have been told that I am wrong and that it is more proper to give more due to the rising costs of weddings. Thoughts?

akaMrsT Posted: Jan 04, 2005 01:05 AM

Re: How much do you normally give as a wedding gift?

I decline a lot of weddings since I can't always give $300+ and travel to the wedding plus take off work. However, for the last one I attended in Rhode Island I gave $200 for myself. It was out of town so I paid for a hotel and I drove.

I went to a LI wedding in 2003 with my mom and I think we gave $200 in china. The bride told me she returned most of the gifts though so she got the cash.

I think it does depend on the venue though. For a wedding I attended in VA a while back, I gave $25. I was not invited to this wedding which was a church wedding & recreation center reception. I happened to be in VA visiting and ended up shuttling my niece around for that day. Her dad got married and she was in the wedding but the 'other' kids (he has 5 total) were not allowed to ride in the limo. His son with the bride was in the limo. She needed her hair done, travel to the church, travel to the reception and a ride home. I felt like her dad should have paid me for the day since he did not get an extra limo for his other children.

For a wedding/reception held at a community center in VA I gave $50 which I know covered my plate (maybe double or triple).

Moosey911 Posted: Jan 04, 2005 02:06 AM

Re: How much do you normally give as a wedding gift?

I know this might sound funny and some may take offense---but a lot of my 'gift' money for friends depends on whether they had an engagement party and/or bridal/jack and jill party. If there was an engagement party---I usually give $100-$150 or a like amount spent on a registry gift for the party---and then another $250-$300 for the wedding. Unless it's family--close family usually gets $300-$500. If no engagement party or pre-wedding gifts--then $300 is our standard (from both of us) ---

Then again, if we can't make the wedding, I've been giving $200---so I guess I have been subconsciously 'covering' the per-head price of attending (YIKES!!)

And I don't have any siblings--so I don't think any of my family will ever get more than $500 from us. My closest cousins will probably get $500. When my FBIL gets married---that'll be a different story---he'll get the 'special' family treatment.

Robinella Posted: Jan 04, 2005 02:30 PM

Re: How much do you normally give as a wedding gift?

Depends on what I can afford at the time...right now its like 100 bucks per person...especially this year considering I have 4 weddings between feb and august...and then my own wedding this september. I can't afford much more...and dont' have the heart to decline to any of these weddings cause they are family or really close friends. If I can give more of course I will! I just think it depends on financial status at the time and how close you are to the couple getting married. I would never hold the amount someone gave me against them though...cause i understand others have the same financial difficulties.

pinky424 Posted: Jan 04, 2005 02:42 PM

Re: How much do you normally give as a wedding gift?

Depends on who. I gave my sister $1,000 from me and FH and we gave my cousins $300. Our gift giving is in between 200-500 on friends.

Donna&Joe708 Posted: Jan 04, 2005 02:55 PM

Re: How much do you normally give as a wedding gift?

It depends on who it is...the minimum I've ever given is $200, but I have gone over that for close friends and family.

Bebalina Posted: Jan 04, 2005 02:57 PM

Re: How much do you normally give as a wedding gift?

Family and Close friends 300, otherwise 250

more if im in the bridal party

Thumballina Posted: Jan 04, 2005 02:59 PM

Re: How much do you normally give as a wedding gift?

We always give $300...regardless of where or who...unless it is family or a close friend than its between $550 - $1000...

PUPADOLCE Posted: Jan 04, 2005 03:02 PM

Re: How much do you normally give as a wedding gift?

It would be nice to give enough to at least cover your plate, but I the bride and groom can't except everyone to be able to afford that. so, just give as much as you can or think the couple deserves as a gift.

These days, I say no less than $150 per person.

wood2be Posted: Jan 04, 2005 03:20 PM

Re: How much do you normally give as a wedding gift?

It depends on how close we are. Usually it's $200.

The average gift at my wedding was $150 -$200. A couple couples gave us $50 and some Aunts and Uncles gave $500. It all depends on what you can afford.

NYtherapist Posted: Jan 04, 2005 04:07 PM

Re: How much do you normally give as a wedding gift?

My MOH is from NY, but moved to DC when she got engaged. They had the wedding in Maryland at a beautiful mansion. The wedding cost them $50,000.

Know how much they received in cash? $10,000!! $8,000 was from his parents. I gave her $400. That means, of the nearly 200 guests, they received $1600. They had a family of 5 give them $50 (ten dollars per person).

People were walking in with actual gifts (toasters, blenders, etc). It was so strange to see people bring actual gifts to a wedding since cash is the custom here.

beanamarie Posted: Jan 04, 2005 05:54 PM

Re: How much do you normally give as a wedding gift?

this is a great thread! God knows, many tiffs came about between my FH and i with this very matter.

its hard not to consider the price/plate, and whether or not you went to the e-party, the housewarming, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, and the wedding.

And if you're in the wedding party--paying for a dress, hair up-do, shower gift, etc---it adds up, and i do make my wedding gift decisions based upon all of that.

In 2004, my FH and i got engaged. And we had 7 weddings to go to--and 1 of them, we were BOTH in the wedding party!!!! it was insane! for my participation alone, i spent $800 . For my FH being in the wedding party he spent, $1400 . Then we gave them an e-gift of $100 and this beautiful frame thing from Bombay compay <$50>. Our wedding gift was $300.

That's $2650, ladies. They can go scratch if they dont think we 'gave' them enough at their wedding.

That same couple got us 2 frames for our engagement---how tacky!

We agreed on $200/wedding, depending on how close we are with the bride/groom. There are plently of folks that we gave $50 checks to for their engagement and we just received a card.

it's a tough nut. and not a pretty subject to talk about.