How much is your FH involved in planning?

How much is your FH involved in planning?

My FH is showing little to zero interest in helping me..I mean he doesn't even want to go to the vendors because 'I'm not paying so I don't have any say.' I think that's something my FFIL has planted in his head.

It's frustrating to the point where my parents are worried if he even wants to go through with this.

What is your situation?

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

We are paying for our own wedding, and FI doesn't have much input. He's really laid back in general, and to him he really doesn't have a preference on photo/DJ/flowers/limos.

He was very involved in selecting the venue . . .he actually scoped it out and brought me there. And he is involved with the HM planning, rehearsal dinner, and of course his tuxes. He has been OK with giving input into the invitations, but it's just not him.

It's almost sweet to some degree that his response is usually that he wouldn't care if we eloped, b/c he just wants to get married. . . I want the big party. Although, when I need help deciding on something, 'whatever you want babe' does get old

Even with the whatever response, I do still run things past him and he does show a genuinel interest, but he primarily leaves the decision-making up to me.

Good luck and hang in there. I would just reassure him that of course he has say and his opinion is important b/c it's the wedding of the both of you

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

MY FI came to the reception hall, he helped with the band,and we registered together. But thats really it. Personally, I don't think he needs to do everything with me. I don't think he would have an interest in flowers or invitations--so I do that stuff with my sister and mom. I told him yesterday that he in charge of limos. What if you give him a specific job to do?? If it is really bothering you maybe you should talk to him :)

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

My FH wants to be involved in picking out the vendors - photographers, DJ, flowers, etc. As for all of the extras - favors, menus, placecards, etc. He said that I can do whatever I want. He's not too interested in all of the little 'details'.

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

I think you will feel better after you talk--then you will know what the deal is. Just know that everything will be be planned and perfect by the time your wedding arrives :)

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

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Posted by jes81276

My FH wants to be involved in picking out the vendors - photographers, DJ, flowers, etc. As for all of the extras - favors, menus, placecards, etc. He said that I can do whatever I want. He's not too interested in all of the little 'details'.

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That pretty much how mine is too

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

FH is pretty good. He says he has ZERO interest in flowers...they all look the same to him. But he helped pick and book the hall, photographer, videographer, and DJ. He helped me make the save the date letters that we made to go along with our magnets. And the most important thing that he has contributed is organizing the guest list. He wrote a program on the computer to input guest names, dates, and addresses, and it calculates the number of guests we have, the number of STDs and the number of invitations that need to be sent out. Once RSVPs come in, we can input a yes or no, and it recalculates the number of guests coming, the number of favors we need to make, the number of thank you's we need to send (not including anyone that says 'no' but sends a gift). Its awesome. We are soooo oraganized because of it. If he skips out on some little details, that's fine by me!

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

My FH is very involved we meet vendors and decide together. While I don't know how he'll act with the details yet he's been very supportive so far. I think maybe you should ask FH why he feels his opinion 'doesn't matter' and reassure him you value it and want him involved.

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

FH is involved in everything and has been excited to go to showcases...FH was blessed with the gift of gab and can 'sell anyone' so I love when he comes, he can persuade any vendor and we get what we want

He is involved with all big things but I always ask him if he wants to pick out invitations, candles all that stuff...

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

FH husband is actually more on top of things than I am . Well............ I am more on the ball with things now b/c it's getting closer to the wedding day. But at first he was the one to tell me to order my dress and to do this and that. And I was like, WE HAVE SO MUCH TIME.

To the girls who's FH are laid back and are like whatever......

IT's a great possibilty that's it's b/c the wedding day is so far away from now. Guys usually don't think about it as much as we do or stress it and even day dream about it like us girlies do. But you'll see, as time passes and your day gets closer, they'll be more enthused and more involved!!!

Good luck Brides
Happy planning!!!!!

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

I should be pleased that FH is very involved in the planning process but to be honest it isnt always a good thing. My family has made MANY weddings. We could do it in our sleep. FH has never had these experiences and has this need to analyze everything to death. Whats funny is that we always end up getting what I want in the end. I've said this before, but I just want to be able to do a few things without checking with him first. Im 35 years old and pretty decisive.

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

FH says 'it is your special day and I trust your judgement' he knows I am on here 24-7 and hello? my special day what about his too??
He is so laid back and shy. I was blessed with the gift of gab so I have been handeling things and when I narrow vendors down to 2-3 I call and make appointments and he complains but goes.
It is like dealing with a child sometimes and I am starting to get annoyed cause all he wants to do is be left alone.
He always gives in and goes but I swear 'MEN ARE LIKE BABIES'

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

They ARE babies. You just watch. If they tell you to do something on your own, they will be the first to bit*h and complain if they don't like it. For example, when FH says my car makes too much noise, I tell him to be quiet or buy me a new one. Put them in their places!

Re: How much is your FH involved in planning?

He is very involved. He helps with all the major vendors but doesn't get involved with the little details....doesn't mean I won't ask his opinion because it does matter.