how much to spend on a gift

jeswedding Posted: Apr 24, 2009 12:41 PM

how much to spend on a gift

two of my friends invited us to the weddings this summer... one we invited to our wedding. the other we didnt.

how much should i spend on each of their gifts...if i am not able to go...

julesrbf Posted: Apr 24, 2009 12:47 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

Depends on how close you are to the couple. My regular from FH and I is $200, which goes up or down depending on how close we are to the couple. For one of my best friends (who married another one of my best friends) we gave them $400!

I don't think it should matter whether you go or not, but that's just my personal policy.

Lsorrent Posted: Apr 24, 2009 12:50 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

Posted by julesrbf

Depends on how close you are to the couple. My regular from FH and I is $200, which goes up or down depending on how close we are to the couple. For one of my best friends (who married another one of my best friends) we gave them $400!

I don't think it should matter whether you go or not, but that's just my personal policy.

I agree. All depends on your relationship. FH and I gave one of my co-workers last year $200. But we gave my best friend and her FH $500. We have friends getting married in July that we're very close with and will probably give around $350.

20mrsc10 Posted: Apr 24, 2009 12:58 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

i agree with the previous posts-but i def. think you should give a min. of 100 or so per person invited

MnM182008 Posted: Apr 24, 2009 01:05 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

I think it depends on the relationship you have with each person. Obviously you are close, give a larger gift. Give what you are comfortable giving.

lolalovesacroat Posted: Apr 24, 2009 01:31 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

I agree I mean you know how much wedding cost since you are going through it right now.def $100 and up

I usually give at least $150-$200 pp

deeva007 Posted: Apr 24, 2009 02:17 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

Posted by 20mrsc10

i agree with the previous posts-but i def. think you should give a min. of 100 or so per person invited

Totally agree. My standard is atleast 100 per person for someone not close. 125 pp. if its an average friend and 150-200+ pp if its a close friend or relative.

Btw I do not agree that your gift should be as large if you are not going to the wedding. Chances are, with some exception, if it was someone close you would be going to their wedding- and maybe you are choosing not to go bc you cant afford to shell out the 100+ pp gift for someone you are not that close to. In that case I think its perfectly fine and appropriate to send a wedding gift- maybe something off the registry- for under 100 per couple.

if its someone close and for whatever reason you still cant go then yes I would give them the same or near the same gitt as you would have if you attended.

KerriJohnS Posted: Apr 24, 2009 02:44 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

I wouldn't ever give less than $100 per person. If they are closer to me then I would give more money. I usually try to at least cover my plate.

If you don't go then I think you should spend a little less. Personally I would give a gift from the registry instead of money at that point.

julesrbf Posted: Apr 24, 2009 03:01 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

Just to clarify: when I say 'up or down' from $200 - the only time we dipped below was $150 for a not close friend's wedding in Vermont that we had to take two days off of work for and pay for travel and hotels. I thought that was fair. They paid next to nothing for their wedding by having it in VT and I felt that their gift should also cost less.

MarjorieFrank Posted: Apr 24, 2009 03:13 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

ITA about spending less since you are not going to their wedding.

Nina1010 Posted: Apr 24, 2009 10:08 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

Posted by MnM182008

I think it depends on the relationship you have with each person. Obviously you are close, give a larger gift. Give what you are comfortable giving.

ITA... I do take into consideration the place, the relationship bt. us and what my financial situation is at the moment. I think at least $100pp is good, esp. if you aren't going to the wedding.

KRISTIND Posted: Apr 24, 2009 10:15 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

i think out of state weddings are totally different....magazines say the average gift is like total $75...so we are all fine!!!!

Scarlett Posted: Apr 27, 2009 12:31 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

If you aren't able to attend the wedding, $100 from each person is a nice gift.

However, personally, when I do attend a wedding, even if it's someone not close to me, I will never give less than $150 per person. Honestly, if I can't afford to give at least $150 per person, I'd rather not go at all than make the bride and the groom cover my plates.

michelle1024 Posted: Apr 27, 2009 12:49 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

Posted by KerriJohnS

I wouldn't ever give less than $100 per person. If they are closer to me then I would give more money. I usually try to at least cover my plate.

If you don't go then I think you should spend a little less. Personally I would give a gift from the registry instead of money at that point.

i agree!

A registry gift, or $100-150 i think is totally fine if you are not going to the wedding.

jme78 Posted: Apr 27, 2009 12:55 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

I hate the term 'cover your plate'.

I would never in a million years expect my guests to cover the cost of their meals - that is why they are my guests. I want them there because they matter in my life and FH's life, not to get cash.

Sorry, its a huge pet peeve of mine. Weddings are a celebration, not a money making proposition. Where a couple chooses to have their wedding should have no impact on what gift you give them. Give them what you are comfortable with.

I would give a couple the same if they got married at McDonalds, Westbury Manor, or the Ritz Carlton. My criteria is how close I am to the couple. I am getting married at a more expensive RH (parents insisted), and I know that most of my guests will not give me gifts that cover the pp charge.

sharivera Posted: Apr 27, 2009 01:16 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

I would say minimum $100 per person..if you're really close to them, then you can give a little more.. we usually give between $250 & $300 for close friends..

Scarlett Posted: Apr 27, 2009 08:23 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

I realize that wedding is first and foremost a celebration, but at the same time I'm always conscious of the fact that the bride and the groom are going through a huge expense to make it happen. They are just starting their lives together as a couple and I would genuinely want to lower their financial burden at least a little bit by covering my dinner. Of course I'm there to celebrate with them, but I am also cognizant of the fact that there is much more that goes into the wedding aside from the meals... the music, the flowers, the decor, the favors, everything. All those things start to quickly add up. Not everyone's parents are paying for the wedding, so every little bit helps.

FallBride2010 Posted: Apr 27, 2009 10:51 PM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

Posted by jme78

I hate the term 'cover your plate'.

I would never in a million years expect my guests to cover the cost of their meals - that is why they are my guests. I want them there because they matter in my life and FH's life, not to get cash.

Sorry, its a huge pet peeve of mine. Weddings are a celebration, not a money making proposition. Where a couple chooses to have their wedding should have no impact on what gift you give them. Give them what you are comfortable with.

I would give a couple the same if they got married at McDonalds, Westbury Manor, or the Ritz Carlton. My criteria is how close I am to the couple. I am getting married at a more expensive RH (parents insisted), and I know that most of my guests will not give me gifts that cover the pp charge.

I agree with this to an extent -- b/c if someone is spending $300 pp -- doesnt mean you need to give a $600 gift. Just b/c the bride/groom have money...doesnt mean the guests need to go into debt to attend the wedding. On top of that, covering your plate is only a fraction of what the wedding actually costs, so you could never really estimate that

That being said, I do try to give a generous gift when attending a wedding. I wouldnt give less than $300 to anyone-- that's my basic gift these days. I give$350 and upwards for closer friends or family members. Just my opinion.

SummerBride10 Posted: Apr 28, 2009 07:47 AM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

At LEAST $100 pp. More if youre really close.

kirstenjk Posted: Apr 28, 2009 08:41 AM

Re: how much to spend on a gift

If I can't attend a wedding, I usually send a nice gift from their registry - in the $50-100 range.

Honestly, give what you can afford. You might be able to get 'more bang for your buck' by giving an actual gift rather than money.