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Our friend was married over the summer in Italy and is now having a small party to celebrate in NY. It's not a full reception, it will be at a restaurant. He gave us $350 for our wedding, but I think that's too much to give for their party. Am I being cheap, or would $200 be sufficient? I'm not saying this is my opinion, but many people have said that the only reason they're even having a party here in NY is because his mom wanted to make sure they got gifts. Not sure if that should make a difference, but that is the general consensus. They also had a shower for this girl (who lived in Italy up until the marriage) and many people who were invited didn't even know her.
$350 is a generous gift but that doesn't mean you have to reciprocate it just because it's what they gave. Give what you feel comfortable giving and what you feel is appropriate. Like you said, amongst your friends, the norm is to cover your plate, so to speak, so you know what is acceptable. I personally think that after everything you said, $200 is perfectly fine.
Personally if I could I would give the same amount they gave. JMO
I think $200 is great.. REMEMBER it's a GIFT, and the thought that counts!!!!
I wouldn't base the amount on how much you think it costs per head. If someone gave me $350, I would give them the same regardless of what kind of celebration it is.
My friend got married in Ireland in August. many people couldn't go because of the expense. We didn't go either because we had just gotten back from our hm. At our wedding, they gave us $300. In Sept they had a party in the back of a bar, open bar and hot buffet, coffee, cake etc. for 4 hrs. they also had a band. we gave them the same gift they gave us $300 because I felt like we were invited to the big overseas wedding but couldn't go for our own reasons, so I felt it was right to be just as generous as they were to us.
I think $200 is fine, but that's really upt to you. The NY reception might be to celebrate with friends, but it also does seem like ti could just be a plea for gifts. I probably wouldn't give as much as a formal reception...there's really no rationalization behind it...I mea I guess b/c when you give a gift, yeah you're helping people start their new lives, but if they spent a lot of $$ on the reception, you'd want to give them more, so they'd wind up with more in the end, and if the semi reception you're going to is cheaper, tehn yu know they're gonna end up with most of the $$, especially since they're apparently not paying for it. I'd definitely give more $$ to a B&G who were paying for it themselves, b/c I know how hard it can be
I think you give a gift to give a gift...it shouldnt matter who gave what or how much they paid for their reception or whether they had it in a fancy hall or in a backyard. Bottom line you give what you can give based on what you think is appropriate. If I was invited to a co-workers wedding that cost 150 a plate I probably wouldnt still give 200 as a couple cause we aren't that close, if i got invited to a friends wedding that cost 65 a plate I might give 250/300...or whatever. How much you spend or dont spend on a wedding should have no effect on the amount of the gift if that person is truly important to you.
