I'm trying to choose my bridal party - which for the most part is not hard. On my maternal side, I hvae 4 female cousins - 1 in her late 20s who was married in 2003 and then a 20 year old, a 16 year old, and a 10 year old.
When my older cousin was married, she originally just asked me to be her BM (since we're close in age and close in general). Then, I don't know if someone said something to her or she just felt bad, but she ended up asking the other 3 cousins and my sister. I feel like this has set the bar for me. Of course I would ask my older cousin no matter what, but I also want to ask the 10 year old because, believe it or not, we're pretty close!!! She IMs and e-mails me all the time and she's basically the cutest. But, I felt that if I asked her to be my Junior BM and my cousin to be my BM, the other two cousins would feel hurt.
I was thinking maybe if I ask the 10 year old to be my FG, it would some how be less of an issue. But, is that too old for a FG?
Also - what would you guys do in general? This situation is holding up me and FH from asking everyone to be in the BP.
Oh, also - if I were to invite all 4, it would leave the BP lopsided - 10 BMs and 7 GMs.
ETA: She'll be more like 11ish by the time I am getting married.
MrsB2BE
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Re: How Old is Too Old to Be a Flower Girl?
My FG is 10 and my RB is 9 - we don't have many little kids in the family.....
Mici n KC
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Re: How Old is Too Old to Be a Flower Girl?
What if you make her a junior BM?
BNBride60
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Posted by MiciB115
What if you make her a junior BM?
See, I was thinking that would still hurt my cousins - like 'why are we not BMs.'
I thought if she was a FG, then it would be like she is filling a role that the other two are too old to fill.
This all might be ridiculous, but I'm scared of hurting my aunts and their daughters. I just 1) don't want the BP to be uneven; 2) am not really close with them and; 3) feel like I'm forced into this because my older cousin asked them all.
daniebc16
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Re: How Old is Too Old to Be a Flower Girl?
I think 12 is too old, 10 is fine, let her be the flower girl, it will be really sweet!
tinadansr
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I thought 12 was the cut off age for FG's?
BNBride60
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Gahhhhhhh she will be like just over 11 when the wedding happens.
If it would be weird to make her FG - what else do you guys think I should do about the cousin situation?
This has really been bothering me - I've been sitting on my 'Will you be my BM cards' because I don't knwo what to do!
angl2001
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Re: How Old is Too Old to Be a Flower Girl?
my FG is 8 i dont think ten is too old i would say if she was like 12 then mae her a Jr BM i think your ok but do whatever you want...its your day! and at that age i dont think she would matter one way or another :)
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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I am not having a FG or RB.... Fh has 2 nieces that will be our Jr BM's (ages 11 and 12 at the wedding) and his nephew will be JR GM (age 10)
I thought they were too old to fill those roles and technically FG and RB arent even needed. I also thought they would feel more grown up and special to have these 'bigger' titles!
HeatherRose
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Re: How Old is Too Old to Be a Flower Girl?
mine is 9, and i know her mom was telling he she sholud be a Junior bridesmaid but id dint want that, and i think she feels a little old, but she's still very happy to be part of the wedding party, the other one is only 3
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Posted by HeatherRose
mine is 9, and i know her mom was telling he she sholud be a Junior bridesmaid but id dint want that, and i think she feels a little old, but she's still very happy to be part of the wedding party, the other one is only 3
I had the opposite... mine asked me if they could be FG's... but they will jus be too old to be doing that and her eyes lit up when I said Jr Bm instead
B22
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Re: How Old is Too Old to Be a Flower Girl?
I dont think its too old for a flower girl. My 10 year old cousin is going to be my junior brides maid but we didnt order her a BM dress... We're just going to try to find her a dress that looks similar to my BM dresses. If we can't we're going to make her a flower girl. Shes tall for her age, but WHO CARES..
its your wedding!
cindyandkevin
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Re: How Old is Too Old to Be a Flower Girl?
I would ask the 10 y/o to be a jrBM, esp since she'll be 11 by the time of your wedding. I mean, you can really do whatever you want but IMO that's a bit old to be a FG.
As for the 16 and 20 y/o I would ask them to be readers if you don't want them as BMs. That way they're not left out and you don't feel like your BP is lopsided.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Posted by carolinep24
I dont think its too old for a flower girl. My 10 year old cousin is going to be my junior brides maid but we didnt order her a BM dress... We're just going to try to find her a dress that looks similar to my BM dresses. If we can't we're going to make her a flower girl. Shes tall for her age, but WHO CARES..
its your wedding!
So funny you say that about the age/height! My 1 niece is huge for her age.. In 2 yrs, she'll have no prob fitting into a BM dress, but my other niece and nephew are sooooooo tiny. They are going to be a prob fitting into clothes...
BNBride60
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Re: How Old is Too Old to Be a Flower Girl?
Posted by cindyandkevin
I would ask the 10 y/o to be a jrBM, esp since she'll be 11 by the time of your wedding. I mean, you can really do whatever you want but IMO that's a bit old to be a FG.
As for the 16 and 20 y/o I would ask them to be readers if you don't want them as BMs. That way they're not left out and you don't feel like your BP is lopsided.
Any idea if there is anyting I can ask them to do besides being readers? I was thinking of giving them some other role int he wedding, but didn't know what else it coudl be.
My Godmother and I are very close and I'd absolutely have to ask her to do one of the readings.
MikeandLisa
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Re: How Old is Too Old to Be a Flower Girl?
just my opinion, but i think that is too old to be a flower girl. at that age, i wouldve felt a little silly being a flower girl... i think 11 is an appropriate age for a junior bridesmaid
DLM107
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Re: How Old is Too Old to Be a Flower Girl?
Choosing a BP is very hard. I have a lot of family and I knew I was going to have a hard time. I have 10 nieces and nephews and my Fh has 2 nephews. At first I only wanted my 3 godsons in the wedding and I figured since I only have 3 nieces I would have the 3 girls. It would be perfect!! Of course that didn't work out and now I am having all 10 of my nieces and nephews and FH 2 nephews On top of that my BP is huge also. I didn't want to listen to anybody anymore so I added everybody. My party is also uneven but I don't care as long as I no longer have to hear everybody elses input. My Fg is 5 and Jr. BM's are 9 and 12.
BNBride60
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Re: How Old is Too Old to Be a Flower Girl?
Posted by DLM107
Choosing a BP is very hard. I have a lot of family and I knew I was going to have a hard time. I have 10 nieces and nephews and my Fh has 2 nephews. At first I only wanted my 3 godsons in the wedding and I figured since I only have 3 nieces I would have the 3 girls. It would be perfect!! Of course that didn't work out and now I am having all 10 of my nieces and nephews and FH 2 nephews On top of that my BP is huge also. I didn't want to listen to anybody anymore so I added everybody. My party is also uneven but I don't care as long as I no longer have to hear everybody elses input. My Fg is 5 and Jr. BM's are 9 and 12.
Someone suggested not asking any cousins (even the close cousin) so that nobody is hurt. I don't know though.
I'm definitely stumped
CMaria81
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Re: How Old is Too Old to Be a Flower Girl?
As long as the 10 year old is okay with being a FG I think it's fine. I would try to 'adult' the role up more, though. Maybe carrying a small bouquet or a kissing ball over a basket and of course, choosing a sophisticated flower girl dress so she doesn't feel like 'a baby' (you know how kids are).
DLM107
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you know what it is your big day you ask who you want!! Don't let anybody make you feel bad. I know my BP is huge!!
