how should I feel about this?

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Posted by MrsKinMay05

If she paid for the party than it is fine. I know we shouldn't expect gifts but the MOH...

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I agree!! I kinda find that to be strange.

I know we shouldn't expect gifts... but we all know in the back of our minds we kind of figure that who ever attends the shower will bring a gift... if we didn't expect gifts than why do we register??????????????

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Posted by fashionhag

I think you should feel happy that your made best friend was there and is just simply being your MOH. We, as brides, need to stop expecting gifts from people.

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Oh pahlease! It is strange for the MOH to not give a gift, especially if she is not paying for the shower. End of story. I'm sure she IS happy that her MOH was there, but bottom line is the right thing to do is to bring a freakin gift! Doesn't have to be an expensive one. The whole point of a shower is to give the bride a gift for her new home and her new life with her husband-to-be!! I can't stand that someone on this site cannot post about this type of thing without getting this self-righteous bullcrap.

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Posted by EvenEdan

Oh pahlease! It is strange for the MOH to not give a gift, especially if she is not paying for the shower. End of story. I'm sure she IS happy that her MOH was there, but bottom line is the right thing to do is to bring a freakin gift! Doesn't have to be an expensive one. The whole point of a shower is to give the bride a gift for her new home and her new life with her husband-to-be!! I can't stand that someone on this site cannot post about this type of thing without getting this self-righteous bullcrap.

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excellent point!!!
it is true...the point of the shower is to give gifts to the bride to start her new home.....and we all go to our showers expecting gifts...although we are grateful to the people for coming to share the day with us
if i were her, i probably would have included a note in the card that the wedding and shower gifts were combined, in the debt that was being forgiven....

Just an update:

Today, FH and I hung out with MOH at her place. Imagine my surprose when she handed us not one but three very thoughtful gifts for the shower.

Although some other strange wedding-related things occurred, it was lovely, and I was SO pleasantly surprised!

Really, it was the thought and effort that impressed me the most, and I am much relieved.

(although I DO feel kind of shallow, though I would have been equally thrilled with one small gift - and less foolish!)

I am glad that everything worked out for the best!

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Posted by EvenEdan
Oh pahlease! It is strange for the MOH to not give a gift, especially if she is not paying for the shower. End of story. I'm sure she IS happy that her MOH was there, but bottom line is the right thing to do is to bring a freakin gift! Doesn't have to be an expensive one. The whole point of a shower is to give the bride a gift for her new home and her new life with her husband-to-be!! I can't stand that someone on this site cannot post about this type of thing without getting this self-righteous bullcrap.

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Well excuse the crap out of me. There is not a friggin thing that is self rigtheous about my statement. It's the damn truth. My MOH could give us NOTHING and we would have not a single problem with that. Hell, if no one gave us any gifts thast would be perfectly fine with us. The point of a wedding is not to get gift but to combine two lives. I just want to have a beautfiul wedding. That's I care about. The engagement party, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party...that's all ******** and they mean nothing. I am so sick of this sense of entitlement. It seems that so few people seem to get what a wedding is all about. No wonder there is a nearly a 60% divorce rate.

I think it is a bit odd for a MOH not to give you a gift during your shower. Of course, if the MOH paid for the shower OR had financial difficulties that is another story. But it is the thought, not the amount the gift costs. Giving the bride a $10 cookbook or a nice address book is perfectly fine. But IMO the MOH should acknowledge your bridal shower with some type of gift. Again, I am not saying she should purchase you a comforter set or couch but she should purchase something.

I can tell you that my bridal shower did mean something. It meant something to me, my friends, my family. It still holds a special meaning to me. My bachorlette luncheon is the same. Now, if a bride to be feels these special moments mean nothing, then IMO she should request that her family not plan them. It is more of a slap in the face to them if they all work so hard to make the day special only to have the guest of honor feel that it meant nothing at all.

The divorce rate is so high due to the fact that people marry the wrong person and/or leave the marriage rather than try to work out the problems. Divorce is seen as an easy option to sticking it out and working hard at marriage. The divorce rate has nothing to do, IMO, with the fact that we have showers and other pre-wedding parties.

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Posted by michele31
The divorce rate has nothing to do, IMO, with the fact that we have showers and other pre-wedding parties.

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*sigh...

I didn't say it did, nor did I even imply that. You missed my point completely.

And no, the pre-wedding parties don't mean anything in the scheme if things if you look at the bigger picture. I mean really, lok at what you do at bridal parties. You sit with friends and family. You chat. You maybe play games. Are you going to tell me that these things cannot be done at any time? I could make a call to some people right now and have a get together and dothe exact same thing done at a Bridal shower. Sure, they are fun...but they are not important when it comes to the wedding and the marriage. They are minute details. Crap, I wish I wouldnt have to have one. I would prefer that people not spend that type of money. But I will have one and will be appreciative to whomever plans it. But I will not be upset or even consder it strange if people don't bring gifts. To me, the company is enough of a gift. My father is dead, my grandfather is dead, my mother refuses to come to the wedding because she wantsto be bitchy. I would take their presence over any presents any day. Do you get me now? Do you understand why I say the parties, more specifically the presents, aren't the important thing?

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Posted by keohime

Just an update:

Today, FH and I hung out with MOH at her place. Imagine my surprose when she handed us not one but three very thoughtful gifts for the shower.

Although some other strange wedding-related things occurred, it was lovely, and I was SO pleasantly surprised!

Really, it was the thought and effort that impressed me the most, and I am much relieved.

(although I DO feel kind of shallow, though I would have been equally thrilled with one small gift - and less foolish!)

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glad to hear it all worked out...

that's great that it all worked out for the best

She is a close friend of yours, if you feel upset by this you should speak to her about it. There must be a good reason why she didn't bring you a gift. I would definitely start by talking to her about it, I would hate to be upset with a good friend over a gift, but that's just me.


I replied to late, I'm glad everything worked out for you.