How to convince FH? Need help

thelastresort Posted: Oct 11, 2006 09:54 AM

How to convince FH? Need help

I really want a band for our wedding but my FH doesn't want one b/c he feels they 'butcher' every dance song and can't play the songs he wants. In any event, if he thinks a DJ is playing 50 cent or Eminem or Korn or something at my wedding he can think again. I think a band is classier then a DJ (that's just my opinion, don't get offended by that). How can I get him to agree to a band? We went to some showcases and he didn't like any of them. We also saw a band with a DJ combo thing but the woman who manages them was a total psycho and I'm not dealing with her. As an aside, I think she googled me b/c she somehow got ahold of my work info and would call me at work to ask me to go to showcases on a bi-weekly basis. Anyway, I digress, how can I get him to book a band???? Help me!

ewickens Posted: Oct 11, 2006 09:56 AM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

Have you thought on a compromise - such as a band for the cocktail hour and then a DJ for the wedding? I went to a wedding like this and it was beautiful!

laural2979 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 10:00 AM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

I'm sorry, but I have to agree with your FH. I would 100% prefer to hear the songs that I want to hear played by the original artist versus a cover band. I know that live music can be fun, but a DJ is definitely NOT lower class then having a band.

CLMon7906 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 10:04 AM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

Posted by ewickens

Have you thought on a compromise - such as a band for the cocktail hour and then a DJ for the wedding? I went to a wedding like this and it was beautiful!

good idea. unfortunately, i agree with your FH! sorry.

july06bride Posted: Oct 11, 2006 10:10 AM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

Absolutely depends on the band! : ) MY band was fabulous and everyone was dancing all night...they did not butcher songs lol-its funny because some friends thought the same til they heard our band...and realized how great they were....

what I suggest, is going to see bands-ones that come highly recommended...go to showcases, get dvds/cds (they will send them to you-although I prefer hearing them in person) and showing him that there are great bands out there!

Kara and Todd Posted: Oct 11, 2006 10:24 AM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

Hmm... I totally agree with you (sorry to your FH). I don't think there's anything wrong with a good DJ, but I much prefer a band at a wedding. I also agree with you that I don't want to hear hip/hop / rap / house music at my weidding either.

What were his objections to the bands you've seen? Do bands send out CD's with music they've played at weddings? I personally love good cover bands...

Most bands have the ability to play cds... Maybe you could get a band that would agree to play shorter sets and play some cds in between??

thelastresort Posted: Oct 11, 2006 10:38 AM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

Thanks for the ideas ladies. As of right now, we have the DJ booked with a saxophone-ist(?) and a percussionist and a 3 piece jazz band for cocktail hour. That was our original compromise but we just went to a couple of weddings that had bands that were just so good...the dance floor was PACKED all night. I just thought the live music was so much better. He agreed with me that he thought those weddings were better, music-wise, but he still wants a DJ. The only live singer that he really liked at one of the weddings was the groom singing to the bride. LOL...

And as far as having the band play CDs, I don't want to pay all that extra money for the band to do what a DJ does, ya know? I don't know how I'm going to get him to other showcases.

Does anyone know if the Mystic plays anywhere in the winter? Do they still do Hudson and McCoy?

OrangeGrl Posted: Oct 11, 2006 11:11 AM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

Just make him go to a bridal show that has both a band and a dj. He will see the difference and join your opinions. I want a dj and I got a dj, but after hearing the band I almost reconcidered.

giggles62 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 11:16 AM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

I lost this vendor also. I wanted a band and he wanted a DJ. I like a lot of dance music and sometimes a band cant pull it off. We also saved around $7K. I like both so it really was not that big of a deal. Good luck

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Oct 11, 2006 11:30 AM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

My DH wanted a band, but any good band was WAAYYY out of our price range. We compromised and got a DJ with live music. We had a steel drum band for the CH, and during the reception we had a singer/keyboard player, and a percussionist. It worked out really well.

DanNette Posted: Oct 11, 2006 11:36 AM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

I think you should look into a band and a DJ. He may just be really set on a DJ because they tend to cost less. That is funny you mention Korn, I think my FH thinks we are playing music like that. umm...there will be no moshing at my wedding! We went to a wedding once where the Dj played during dinner and then again while everyone was eating dessert. It was a nice change, keep looking!! You'll find a good combo!!

GabrielleandJohn Posted: Oct 11, 2006 11:39 AM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

I have to tell you that I am a dj person and if your FH feels as strongly as I do, you will have a hard time convincing him. I think you original compromise is a good one.

EGreene79 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 12:09 PM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

I went to a wedding this past weekend that had a DJ and live percussionist. It definitely added to the music. I'm more of a DJ person myself, and FH would have to show me some outstanding bands to sway my opinion, but as long as he did that I would hire a band.

dgirl Posted: Oct 11, 2006 12:12 PM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

Have you guys talked about the actual music that you are planning on hearing at the reception? If he is dead set on a DJ then maybe it is because he does feel that there will be music that can't be played by a band. If you are against hearing Korn or Eminem, then even with just the DJ you will disagree.

Fh wanted a band and I am dead set on a DJ and then when we made a tentative list of music he realized that with the range, the DJ would be better. It might be the opposite way for you?

tiffandmatt Posted: Oct 11, 2006 12:42 PM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

Posted by laural2979

I'm sorry, but I have to agree with your FH. I would 100% prefer to hear the songs that I want to hear played by the original artist versus a cover band. I know that live music can be fun, but a DJ is definitely NOT lower class then having a band.

Agreed. Yes, you can dance to band music. But honestly the best dancing is when there is a DJ. I want to hear the songs I like the way they are, not the way a cover band does them.

A DJ is only as low class as you make them. If you have them play low class music, then they are not classy. You can make the music as classy as you like. If there are songs you think are not tasteful for a wedding tell FH and DJ those songs will not be played.

I do like the idea of a band at the cocktail hour and DJ at the reception. It's a good compromise. Good luck.

Shmar Posted: Oct 11, 2006 01:08 PM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

I personally like bands! If you find the right one, they will do a great job on the songs. I wanted Pete Moss and the Fertilizers because I love them and they play at all our favorite bands. Lucky for my FH, they were booked that day.

But seriously, just look around and you'll find the perfect band or DJ.

JenTim Posted: Oct 11, 2006 01:15 PM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

It is hard - My DH wanted a DJ - that's all he asked to have for the wedding. He did not care about anyything else. I also prefer a DJ. I like the songs by the original artists. We did however, hve a pianist for CH and then a DJ with live percussionist for the reception and it worked out great!

kitty1224 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 01:45 PM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

Posted by CLMon7906

Posted by ewickens

Have you thought on a compromise - such as a band for the cocktail hour and then a DJ for the wedding? I went to a wedding like this and it was beautiful!

good idea. unfortunately, i agree with your FH! sorry.

me 2, I perfer DJ

strawberryshortcake Posted: Oct 11, 2006 02:18 PM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

i wanted a band and my fh wanted a dj. he thought that dj's make people dance more, i disagreed.

i asked him to go see a few band and dj showcases and after seeing a few bands that we were really impressed with, he agreed and was willing to book a band.

we booked with rhapsody of skyline orchestras. maybe it doesn't sound exactly like the 'real' song, but it's live music!!

maybe see if he'll just check both out and he might like some of the bands.

good luck!!

lucite Posted: Oct 11, 2006 03:11 PM

Re: How to convince FH? Need help

My FH had a DJ at his first wedding and was determined that a DJ was the only way to go. I took him to a couple of showcases of the top talked about bands and he was won over. He is excited about having live music. As far a hearing the actual artist, there have been so many artist doing cover versions of a song over the years. So which version do you choose to have a DJ play? With some of the bands I heard, I actually liked some of the arrangements and vocals better than the original recording. DJ vs band depends on what kind of music you want at your wedding. I totally agree that some of the new music is very hard to reproduce. If your music selection is standard classics than a band sounds so much better. If you plan on hip hop and rap than a DJ is for you. Take him to a few showcases, research some of the highly recommended bands and get him there.