How to find your inner Peace

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I
heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace was to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and before leaving the house this morning I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of
Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some
Saltines, Doritos and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace.

Hey ladies I've taken this advise and you won't believe how good you feel once you've finished both. And there are no regrets in the morning.

If anybody sees my inner peace, please let it know I want it back!!!