how to tell your family...

that you and your FH dont believe in god and dont want a religious ceremony and a friend is doing it

hes getting ordained online and i called the county clerk and found out that was legal to preform weddings in NY..

i come from a big italian catholic family and im dredding them asking why a priest isnt doing the wedding

I just flat out said no church and there is no discussion. No one really got too insane about it. My grandmother questioned it and i simply said its just not going to happen.

One person did get nasty about it and i said its my soul/fate and if i go to hell and burn forever then so be it. From my understanding 'God' is a forgivable type of individual and intended us to have free will.

Shut them right up.

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Posted by nifheim

I just flat out said no church and there is no discussion. No one really got too insane about it. My grandmother questioned it and i simply said its just not going to happen.

One person did get nasty about it and i said its my soul/fate and if i go to hell and burn forever then so be it. From my understanding 'God' is a forgivable type of individual and intended us to have free will.

Shut them right up.

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That is a great way to put it. I think just let them know what you and your FH want. However, if your families are paying for a good portion of the wedding, it might be rough

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Posted by truelove5803

Tell them that you're not so much into having a 'stranger' doing it, and that it would be so much more special to have a friend do it.

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thats exactly wahti said and they are fine with him doing it...but they dont know the real reason behind it and im dreading when they will ask

plus i want the tradition of the church and everything..

i found that historical chapel in woodbury..but i dont know anything about it

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Posted by truelove5803

Tell them that you're not so much into having a 'stranger' doing it, and that it would be so much more special to have a friend do it.

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That is a good idea!

Theres no way to gently break it to them, just have to come out and say it and don't be scared out be stern about your decision...Say listen FH and I decided that we do not want to get married in a catholic church.

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Posted by nifheim

be stern with them but don't get nasty or deffensive. I am big on saying sarcastic things that sound completely nasty but then laugh about it and turn into a joke. good luck!

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Exactly, just come out and say it, no need to yell or get defensive...Just say it in a very normal and regular manner

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Posted by Ilovebriani

i dont think it is necessary to tell them the exact reason why you will not have it in a church (people can get really defensive about these things)...but i would like you said, simply say that you think it would be extra special if a friend performed the ceremony)...and it really should be your decision, it's your wedding.

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i agree - maybe dont come right out with it if they dont ask - that is something you can discuss later if you want

for now just focus on explaining the ceremony that you want and not all the reasons behind it