If someone couldnt attend your bachelorette party? I was supposed to go to my 'friends' bachelorette party, i am not in the wedding. ANd i decided not to b/c its at a stip club and i didnt want to fight with my FH about it. When the invitation came out i said i would go and sent in my money, recently my fh said some stuff about it and i decided it would be best if i didnt attend. So now she is very upset, i didnt think she would be this upset otherwise i would have fought with FH and went. SO i told her that i didnt want to hurt her feelings and i would make the sacrifice and go, she then said that she didnt want me to go. So now what? her shower is next saturday and things feel really weird between us.
Jen2999
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ehh I dont think that she should be THAT upset about it. Are you guy really close? Do oyu want your money back??
February05
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Posted by meredith24
If someone couldnt attend your bachelorette party? I was supposed to go to my 'friends' bachelorette party, i am not in the wedding. ANd i decided not to b/c its at a stip club and i didnt want to fight with my FH about it. When the invitation came out i said i would go and sent in my money, recently my fh said some stuff about it and i decided it would be best if i didnt attend. So now she is very upset, i didnt think she would be this upset otherwise i would have fought with FH and went. SO i told her that i didnt want to hurt her feelings and i would make the sacrifice and go, she then said that she didnt want me to go. So now what? her shower is next saturday and things feel really weird between us.
thats a sticky situation.
on 1 side, yeah, your relationship with FH is important, and if its going to cause major Turmoil, then its something the 2 of you need to discuss.
however, i hate strippers (though its hypocritical for me to say b/c i had one at my BP ), BUT as much as it bothers me when DH goes to one for a BP, i would never tell him not to, and i wouldnt Expect him not to- friendship is about being there for all these things in your friends lives.
If someone couldnt come to mine b/c they already had plans, or just couldnt make it out, it wouldnt bother me at all. BUT if one of my good friends couldnt come b/c her boyfriend or FI wouldnt be happy about it, then that would annoy me. A relationship shouldnt hold you back from doing things with your friends. And to hear that they could 'make the sacrifice' to come would just feel like pouring salt into the wound--- honestly, i wouldnt want them to 'do me any favors'. JMHO
junebride!
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maybe you could call her and go out to lunch...just the two of you and then explain the dilemma you had....a friend would understand...
steelersforlife
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She sounds like she is being very childish to me. Obviously you wanted to go or you wouldn't have paid your money. But if after discussing it with FH you decided you can't go then she will just have to be okay with that. This is what marriage is about--respecting each others feelings and opinions. If she doesn't understand that then...
ML110
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i agree that i think she needs to get over it... my bachelerette party is in 2 weeks... and one of my bridesmaids isn't coming... and i actually told her not to shes very religious, and the whole bar scene isn't her... i knew that, but i still wanted a fun night out with my other girls and friends, so i told my BM that i would completely understand if she didn't want to come... she thanked me for understanding and knowing her so well and that was that.... i would do what you are comfortable with and not worry about her... i think this is something she'll get over eventually....
naps627
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If your FH is not comfortable with you going to a strip club. Then you dont go. End of story and if your friend doesn't understand that then she is not very considerate of that. My FH and I know that if there are any strip clubs involved we don't go because neither one of us are comfortable with it. Our friends all understand. And we either meet up with them later or do something with them on another night.
David'sbride
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Strip clubs aren't for everyone. All of my friends are married but even if they weren't I think the whole stripper thing is kinda skeezy (JMHO). I probably would have attended for a bit and then left early.
It was a nice gesture that you helped pay even though you didn't attend.
micmar
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Hi, Personally I'm not one to get upset over a bachelorette party. Maybe because I'm over 30 now & the club/bar scene isn't as important as it was 6 or 7 years ago. I think it all depends upon your friendship with her. Are you guys close? I know you mentioned you are not in the bridal party, but that doesn't always mean you're not close. If it were my party, I would not be upset. However, from her point of view, she may feel that because it's her one night out w/ friends, you should be there. What I think you should do is speak to her one on one & explain your dilemma, as one of the other ladies suggested. If you get the feeling she is really bent about this, then speak to your FI & just tell him that you really need to be there for your friend's party. If he has an issue with the stripper, let him know that you would never in a million years even WANT to touch one of those strippers!!!
suezboss
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I do not like strippers either!! BUT... that being said... Neen watned one for her BP (NICE TO TRY TO DENY THAT NEEN!) and so we booked one and we went and had a good time. YOU can avoid the stripper, and look the other way (or leave the room, as some did) if it bothers you taht much.
If you just ignore them, then they leave you alone... let your friend know your hesitation, and discuss this with FH, and let him know you are only going there to be with your friend.
OR- are they goign out after? You could meet up with them wherever they end up, so taht you are still there for her night!
AnniesSS
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A few people couldn't come to the spa day portion of my B-party. I was a little dissappointed, but with all that's going on with so many people, I shrugged it off and we had a great time at dinner with the entire group
littlebookworm4
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I wouldn't be THAT upset. I'd be sad that they couldn't be there and I'd miss her but I'd understand
Bumsie
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I she's a true matured friend, she should understand that your FH's feelings are just as important to you as hers is. I personally do not like strippers and would totally understand if I chose to have one at my BP if one of my friends chose not to attend for any reason relating to that. This is JMO.
mendara
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I don't think your friend is upset because you can't go - I think she is upset because you can't go because you fiance is telling you that you can't go. I hate to say this and perhaps I am too blunt - I am a newbie here...but trust is a big part of being married and if there is trust he would tell you to go be with your friend and have fun. But then again that is in an ideal world - it is more often that jealousy is a reality and some guys just can't deal - and girls too!
These parties are often cause for trouble!
Mrs. dleeny
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I learned the hard way not to have any expectations from people where my wedding is concerned. If you set the bar low, it leaves little room for disappointments.
I wish someone would have told me that when I first got engaged.
February05
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Posted by mendara
I don't think your friend is upset because you can't go - I think she is upset because you can't go because you fiance is telling you that you can't go. I hate to say this and perhaps I am too blunt - I am a newbie here...but trust is a big part of being married and if there is trust he would tell you to go be with your friend and have fun.
i completely agree- you wrote it better than i did but thats exactly what i was trying to say.
12-3Princess
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I just think she needs to get over it. You can spend any amount of time with her that does not involve strip clubs... It doesn't mean your FH doesn't trust you just because he doesn't like strip clubs. I mean, what does it have to do with trust? It's not like you're going to go hook up with a stripper - I don't like the idea of naked women all over my FH either, and would prefer he didn't go to strip clubs, but that doesn't mean I'm afraid he'd bring a stripper home with him or something. That's kinda ridiculous... but JMO.
exotica776
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Posted by neeniebean86
Posted by mendara
I don't think your friend is upset because you can't go - I think she is upset because you can't go because you fiance is telling you that you can't go. I hate to say this and perhaps I am too blunt - I am a newbie here...but trust is a big part of being married and if there is trust he would tell you to go be with your friend and have fun.
i completely agree- you wrote it better than i did but thats exactly what i was trying to say.
i also completely agree with what was written here, as well as neeniebeans comment above. well said ladies.
12-3Princess
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Posted by dleeny
I learned the hard way not to have any expectations from people where my wedding is concerned. If you set the bar low, it leaves little room for disappointments.
I wish someone would have told me that when I first got engaged.
that's really true.
ravens_bride
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Re: how upset would you be????
If there is a stripper involved I don't think people should be expected to go... Personally there are too many reasons why a person (girl or guy) wouldn't. Personal dislike, significant other dislike, aggreement with significant other, religion, shy.... and on. But... If you let on to the bride that you might have convinced FH to let you, maybe that is why she got upset.... She may have thought you didn't want to try at all?
