How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

gtbride04 Posted: Oct 06, 2004 02:30 PM

How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

randella Posted: Oct 06, 2004 02:34 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

I know how you feel. There have been several times when I have been disappointed by my BM's and MOH's.. You just got to let it roll off you.. Your friend is not being cool re; her birthday-- if anything- go to the church and miss the dinner..

Just go with it-- and try not to let it spoil your day. You can't please everyone and there will always be someone who will act like they are doing you a favor- not in a good way.

dm24angel Posted: Oct 06, 2004 02:38 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

I've been VERY dissappointed in my BM's..Hang in there, its almost over! I would give up my 30th b-day for a rehersal because I would wanna spend my b-day arounde friends anyway. Why doesnt she do the opposite..come to the rehersal and then not to the dinner...she really should be at the rehersal. Ya know at my Aunts wedding, I was the MOH and we signed the Marraige certificate thingy the NIGHT of the rehersal. Better make sure she wont need to be there for that.
Have a bachelorette party, it will be fun no matter how last minute or what you do...you dont wanna regret it!

HearzBellz Posted: Oct 06, 2004 02:38 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

I would have to agree here...it is way more important for her to be at the ceremony rehearsal rather than the Church - esp the MOH.

TracyInQueens Posted: Oct 06, 2004 04:13 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

That's crappy for her to bail on the rehearsal with your wedding next week- she had plenty of time to tell you.

I have been disappointed in my BMs too, at least the in-town ones. Nothing was planned for my bachelorette party till a few days ago. I don't even want to go.

Blu-ize Posted: Oct 06, 2004 04:22 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

A friend of mine planned mine..my BMs were no where to be found...small gathering and my friend stayed sober so I could drink...they all got wrecked.

JPC1125 Posted: Oct 06, 2004 05:04 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

you NEED to tell her not to even bother being the MOH is shes not at the rehearsal....!!!!!

I hate when people think that the ceremony is not important in the least...she need s to be there to know whats going on...shes in charge if something goes awry (knock on wood)

Stand up and be a tough bride but say you need t o be there cause thats where shell look like an idiot of she doesnt practice

suven Posted: Oct 06, 2004 05:08 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

This is a tough one.

First, don't even worry that they are just planning your bachelorette party now. Most of the time, the bridal party does wait until the last minute.

With regard to the rehearsal, yes, it is important, but it is her THIRTIETH birthday. Maybe ask if, she can't be at both, that she attend the church rehearsal because it is very important.

Good luck!!!

stacy&joe Posted: Oct 06, 2004 05:52 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

I think I would also ask her to please come to the church, since there are so many duties as the MOH that you have to know about, and if she has to, skip the RD. Ask her nicely, politely, and tell her that you know she is being a wonderful friend by giving you her time on a day that is special to her. Honestly, I think it is crummy that she agreed to be your MOH, knowing full well how close it was to her b-day, and is now bailing at this late date. But hey, just b/c I wouldn't do that, and neither would you, well, some people think differently. Don't sweat it!! I guess that's what us LIW Brides are for - coming to the rescue for bailing BMs!

EvenEdan Posted: Oct 06, 2004 06:44 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

I think a 30th Birthday is a huge milestone, so I can understand her cutting out early to celebrate, but I would think it should be the other way around (miss the dinner not the church). Maybe she just feels like her big day is being overshadowed by an event for your big day and this is her way of dealing with it. Talk to her about it.
I might add though, I wouldn't miss my best friend's rehearsal for anything, but at the same time I do believe my best friend would have gone out of her way to not schedule something like that on my 30th.

gtbride04 Posted: Oct 06, 2004 07:04 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

LadyPrincess Posted: Oct 06, 2004 07:25 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

i am finding out that weddings & funerals bring out the weirdest things in family members

Do what u need to for YOUR day
Mom hopefully will come around

Chin up

sassy2611 Posted: Oct 06, 2004 07:34 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

I know what you are going through. My MH went to Costa Rica for a month and a half right before my wedding. She ended up staying later then she was supposed to so her and her Boy friend could travel around together. I my BP had to plan everything around her till I said I really don't care if she is here or not. She knew I was getting married and she should be with me. You only get married once your real friends will back you fully. You should ask your friend if she could do her birthday celebrating later, earlier or another day because you would really like her to be with you that day. If she is a true friend she will understand. It took me and my BP talking to my MH to make her realize how selfish she was being and after that she apologized and was WAY more supportive. Good luck.

Bunnymonkey Posted: Oct 06, 2004 07:41 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

Posted by LadyPrincess

i am finding out that weddings & funerals bring out the weirdest things in family members

Do what u need to for YOUR day
Mom hopefully will come around

Chin up

I agree - it hurts, but focus on what you need, do not try and accomodate her anymore. Be open and honest, but if she keeps saying 'No, it's okay - don't go out of your way for lil' old me' then don't - there is nothing you can do, and you can't drive yourself crazy with guilt.

JenniferLee111204 Posted: Oct 06, 2004 08:50 PM

Re: How would you feel (wedding woes-vent)

During my planning process I have learned a few things, I would like to share them with you.

1. You (we) cant please everyone. someone is ALWAYS going to get pissy at something!

2. BMs and MOHs are really useless. All they do is cause aggrivation.

3. Yes everyone to death! it is the only way to shut people up.

4. Guests are TOTAL morons. Between the adding a guest, and 4 children on the RSVP card that clearly states Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and the not filling in the names and NOT RSVPing ON TIME. you will drive yourself nuts.

5. If you like something or want something, get it, do it, and DONT care what anyone else thinks is the 'right thing to do'

6. Prepare to see the WORST in everyone. Even your sweet granny - beware!

7. GMs are also useless, see #2. All they want to do is corrupt your FH. (especially those that are already married)

8. Evey vendor on long island (and all over) want to RIP YOU OFF!

9. LIWeddings is the only place where there are sain individuals

10. your FH doesnt care about the flowers or the FG dress.

Dont you worry! Have a wonderful RD - enjoy yourself, and if she isnt there, she isnt there, you tried, and thats all that matters. good luck with everything.

-Jennifer