I know who I want for my bridal party, and it's my sister for MOH, and four other BM's who are all close friends for years.
I am not asking my two female cousin's, who I see a few times per year but really am not close with. I was a BM for one of their weddings about 16 yrs ago, but the other cousin is single.
My Aunt (their mother) has already said to my Mom 'are my girls in Melissa's wedding party?' My Mom said she was not sure, but that I do have a lot of close friends and she would not be putting her opinion in.
How do you handle not asking people who might think they are going to be in your BP? I will be seeing them in two weeks at my cousin's daughter's Bat Mitzvah, and I know they will want to see my ring and talk about my wedding plans. Should I just act like nothing is wrong? It's so odd bc my Aunt is pushy and clearly thinks her daughters should be in the wedding but I have NO intention of asking them.
Thanks for any input you have!
KristynLeigh
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
I have no spine so I put all family in my wedding party and left out friends (except one who basically is family.)
If I was you I wouldn't bring it up but have something ready to say in case they do!
FutureMrsGTL
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
I wouldn't say anything! I would act as though nothing is wrong.
If it comes up about them being in the BP you can go my favorite route and say that you haven't made any definite decisions yet.
Or probably the easier route and you can be truthful and say no, sorry.. or let them down a lil easier than that depends on how ballsy you feel! lol
kdm822
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
My moms friend who i grew up calling her my aunt..asked my mom so is dan going to ask tara to be in her b.party? I asked my mom why in the world she would think that? My mom was wondering the same. We barely talk to the girl and she is soooo strangeeee. I just never brought it up infront of her again. You dont have to explain anything to anyone its your bridal party.
sjr385
Posted:
Member since
.
wishingwell1230
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
It's YOUR wedding so YOU should pick who you want in your party, and don't let others opinions or past-precedent sway you. It sounds like you don't want to include them so don't.
If you don't want to deal with the drama and your cousins or aunt bring it up, tell them you haven't decided yet. If you want to be honest, tell them you don't want too many bridesmaids.
Maybe see if they can be involved in another way, like a reading, etc.
LBUDA
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
I would just go about all discussions and act as though nothing is wrong. If anyone asks, you can just say you haven't decided who will be in the bridal party yet. DO NOT feel obligated to ask anyone...this is your day!
irisheyezrsmilen
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
I just wouldn't say anything. dont bring up the wedding when she's around, and if she asks about details keep it short and sweet and change the topic asap. If she actually has the nerve/balls to ask 'am I in your BP' I would just say we are trying to keep the WP as small as we can or we haven't really talked about that yet.
mara1017
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
I would not bring it up but it they bring it up I would tell them that you have decided to not include them because you don't want to have more people in your wedding party. You can tell her that you can't have everyone in your wedding party
Watermelon5
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
I totally had a few people assume. I basically ignored any hints they dropped and never said anything more about it. I just asked my girls about 2 months a go or something and now everyone knows who is/is not in it and thats that. All of my best friends are my bridal party so anyone who thought they were but aren't in it shouldnt be THAT shocked lol!
CaughtMyFish
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
Posted by sjr385
Question: is it just your Aunt who thinks that her daughters should be in your bridal party, or do your cousins think that as well? Just because your aunt is pushy doesn't mean that your cousins are similarly deluded. I'd act like nothing is wrong unless they force the issue. And if they do, just explain that you'd 'love to have them but you and FH decided on 5 each and, well, there's nothing you can do' or something.
I am not sure if my cousins think they should be in it, or if they even care. My Aunt is the type to stand on ceremony and expect them in my WP because I was a BM 16 yrs ago (LOL!) for one of their weddings.
You guys are right. Whatever, it is MY DAY and so little in my life is ever MINE. You know, I am just going to be super selfish everyone can hate me. lol
I dont plan to bring it up with them, but clearly my Aunt is ballsy and may bring it up when I see her. She needs to just take some meds!
roblisa09
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
I never imagined the nerve of some people until now!!! Boy was I in for the only surprise.... don't even give it too much thought. Its YOUR wedding so you decide and follow through, don't let anyone's opinion change ur mind about what you want!!!! Good Luck
itbroi805
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
Crashing! I asked my girl cousins to be readers so they were involved in some way. HTH!
FutureMrsCat050412
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
People are just so dam rude sometimes..... Hasn't anyone every heard the saying 'you can't assume bc it makes an a** out of you & me' I would never expect to be a part of someone's bridal party.
I agree with what the others girls said. Not sure of your personality. You can say you haven't decided, or be honest & say you did.Or say we couldn't decide between all our family members so we kept it just close friends.
We had something a little similar happen to us. A family member asked if anyone from her family was asked to be in the bridal party & when she heard no, she said it wasnt fair that they weren't so we added people. To us it didn't really mean anything. All it is is an extra bridal party gift. We aren't paying for anything else so it really was no big deal
CaughtMyFish
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
Posted by FutureMrsCat050412
People are just so dam rude sometimes..... Hasn't anyone every heard the saying 'you can't assume bc it makes an a** out of you & me' I would never expect to be a part of someone's bridal party.
I agree with what the others girls said. Not sure of your personality. You can say you haven't decided, or be honest & say you did.Or say we couldn't decide between all our family members so we kept it just close friends.
We had something a little similar happen to us. A family member asked if anyone from her family was asked to be in the bridal party & when she heard no, she said it wasnt fair that they weren't so we added people. To us it didn't really mean anything. All it is is an extra bridal party gift. We aren't paying for anything else so it really was no big deal
I am so much closer with my friends than my cousins, so it was a no-brainer for me. I am pretty much outgoing and not afraid of confrontation, so if my nosey evil Aunt says anything to me directly, I will answer her directly. She wont really like it, but oh well!
And as for the suggestion to make them readers, we are Jewish and I dont believe that is a customary role in our ceremomy. I do appreciate the suggestion!
TeAmoChris
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
O BOY the politics of weddings.....you have to ask yourself is it worth offending and upsetting yoru cousins to have your friends in there. Ive seen woman act embarassing and crazy over the BP picks..it makes us look like a nutty species....can you get away with just having your sister and saying you wanted a very small party?
CaughtMyFish
Posted:
Member since
Re: How would you handle this?
I dont just want my sister though. I dont want to hurt feelings but seriously, we aren't super close at all!! I dont know why they would want to be in the BP and have to spend $$$ when we see each other 3x per year. Literally.
Uggghh, I just hope my Aunt doesnt come at me face first, bc it wont end well. lol
