How wrong is this...

bluesashbride Posted: Sep 16, 2004 11:11 AM

How wrong is this...

My MOH is pregnant and due 1 1/2 months before my wedding. She's also moving to FL, we're in VA-MD now. She wanted to throw a shower in the fall, but no one can go, its just too early (wedding is in May '05.) How bad is it if she doesn't throw a shower? I wasn't thinking it was a big a deal, but my SIL to be is all upset which has turned my groom against my MOH. Should I ask her (MOH) to do something, tell her my future in law's are upset, let my groom hate her and do nothing? Or is really that bad as my groom says and disrespectful that my MOH hasn't stepped down if she can't throw a shower? I didn't think I cared, but everyone seems to think a best friend and MOH would go out of her pregnant self way and get some sort of shower. Should I even tell the MOH what's going on? I'm so torn, and I'm trying to not let it effect me, but it is.

Marisa&Brian Posted: Sep 16, 2004 11:14 AM

Re: How wrong is this...

it's not that she's refusing to do it !! She's pregnant and offered to do it a little bit early. - If it bothers your FILs so much, why don't THEY do it ??

bluesashbride Posted: Sep 16, 2004 11:17 AM

Re: How wrong is this...

they are offering and think that my MOH should step down as MOH. OR even worse, I feel pressured to ask her to step down. to make things worse my MOH just got married where she was a bit of a bridezilla and we threw her a couple showers so my groom uses that as ammo that she's she's not returning the favor.

Borricuamorena0905 Posted: Sep 16, 2004 11:17 AM

Re: How wrong is this...

my girlfriend who got married this past April, had her shower last Nov. Thanksgiving weekend... She was mad at first, bcease she thought it was someone else's shower. SHe even made a comment, like , why would they throw a shower so early and on a holiday weekend. Turned out it was for her, and it was the best because people were all in town visiting the family.. So I suggest you tell her to have it early!

bluesashbride Posted: Sep 16, 2004 11:20 AM

Re: How wrong is this...

i will do that, and your situation rings true. i don't care about having a shower, but i do care about her being respected as my MOH and i think having one in NOV or DEC would be fine! good call! i'm going to do that!

Marisa&Brian Posted: Sep 16, 2004 11:22 AM

Re: How wrong is this...

Just b/c she can not throw you the shower at the specific 'appropriate' time does not mean she should step down as MOH - and if you ask her to do that, you're going to ruin a friendship - She's PREGNANT !! your FILs need to give her a break - and there is no rule that states the MOH is the one that HAS to throw the shower !!! - I understand your FI and FSIL are looking out for you b/c they don't want to have to miss out on anything and I agree, but I don't think it's a reason for you to ask her to step down as MOH.

Borricuamorena0905 Posted: Sep 16, 2004 11:22 AM

Re: How wrong is this...

Good call. THis way you have it early, and ur MOH will still be respected.

Bunnymonkey Posted: Sep 16, 2004 12:22 PM

Re: How wrong is this...

Posted by Marisa&Brian

Just b/c she can not throw you the shower at the specific 'appropriate' time does not mean she should step down as MOH - and if you ask her to do that, you're going to ruin a friendship - She's PREGNANT !! your FILs need to give her a break - and there is no rule that states the MOH is the one that HAS to throw the shower !!! - I understand your FI and FSIL are looking out for you b/c they don't want to have to miss out on anything and I agree, but I don't think it's a reason for you to ask her to step down as MOH.

My thoughts exactly. Sounds like the In laws have a bigger problem with her...

JacnRob729 Posted: Sep 16, 2004 12:36 PM

Re: How wrong is this...

Posted by Bunnymonkey

Posted by Marisa&Brian

Just b/c she can not throw you the shower at the specific 'appropriate' time does not mean she should step down as MOH - and if you ask her to do that, you're going to ruin a friendship - She's PREGNANT !! your FILs need to give her a break - and there is no rule that states the MOH is the one that HAS to throw the shower !!! - I understand your FI and FSIL are looking out for you b/c they don't want to have to miss out on anything and I agree, but I don't think it's a reason for you to ask her to step down as MOH.

My thoughts exactly. Sounds like the In laws have a bigger problem with her...

i agree

nylibride Posted: Sep 16, 2004 04:27 PM

Re: How wrong is this...

'Just b/c she can not throw you the shower at the specific 'appropriate' time does not mean she should step down as MOH - and if you ask her to do that, you're going to ruin a friendship - She's PREGNANT !! your FILs need to give her a break - and there is no rule that states the MOH is the one that HAS to throw the shower !!! - I understand your FI and FSIL are looking out for you b/c they don't want to have to miss out on anything and I agree, but I don't think it's a reason for you to ask her to step down as MOH'
___________________________________

I totally agree.

Colleen Hines Posted: Sep 17, 2004 01:22 PM

Re: How wrong is this...

I love the picture next to your screen name!!! Is this Tahiti? My FH and I are looking into honeymooning in Tahiti

bluesashbride Posted: Sep 17, 2004 02:10 PM

Re: How wrong is this...

Well I spoke to my MOH...and she is the BEST! we just talked about how my FH's sister is (she already knew since she's been trying to plan an early shower for me) and my MOH is just going to have one, and if the sister can go then great if not, she has nothing to complain about. And then I had a long heart to heart with my FH. I can't say he isn't completely won over with the just love my friends as I love them attitude that I have BECAUSE his sister is so influential and talks his ear off, BUT he supports me above all else. And he understands my MOHs situation. VERY key. We were definitely starting to feel stressed with wedding crud and are much more on the same wavelength now. I can only hope the next 8 mos don't test our relationship too much, but I know in the end at least we have the capacity to talk like a good, healthy couple does and not scream about everything...

THANK you to all the advice...i needed the 'ear' and you girls helped so very much and your advice was right target.