I am a Lumpy AppleHiney

The following is an excerpt from a children's book, 'Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants' by Dave Pilkey.

The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
a = poopsie
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = stinky
k = flunky
l = boobie
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = tulefel
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a = apple
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = burger
e = girdle
f = barf
g= lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = bubble
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

For example, George W. Bush's new name is Goobern Chickenshorts, Tony Blair is Zippy Liverlips and Saddam Hussein is Gidget Chickenfanny!

I'm a pinky pizza head

Pinky Apple Tush-- here!

Loopy Giggle Buns

I am Crusty applehiney

buttercup apple-tushie

Boobie Bubble Head here!!

I am Zippy Bubblelips!

These books are the funniest things ever. I have one, and gave my nephew one for Christmas. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my entire life!!!!!

OMG! This is hysterical!!

Sunny, LMAO!!!

I'm Loopy Gizzard-Nose!

Before I was married I would have been

Loopy Giggle-Buns!!

Karen

Poopsie Chicken Face!