I am fuming...need some love...

One of my BMs got engaged on Saturday...and she is getting married NEXT year...right after me!

So unfair...she is one of those girls that only call you when they need something...so now that she will start planning her wedding she is going to be calling me for EVERYTHING...I asked her to be in my bridal party bc we've been friends for such a long time, but then I started realizing how she really is and I didnt have the heart to ask her to step down. Now, she is probably going to ask me to be in her bridal party and I bet this is my chance to talk to her and let her know that we should not be in each other's bridal parties since we all have our hands full...I know whats going to happen...I am going to be helping her and shes just going to sit back and do squat for me...Im sorry but this is MY moment to shinen as well...so I gotta let her do her thing and I have to do mine!

Im sorry to burden you with this...just needed to vent.

Oh Sylvia...
yes Mikey...
how do you call your loverboy?
Come 'er loverboy....

And if he doesn't answer
Oh loverboy

and if he STILL doesn't answer

I simply say
baby...ooh baby...my sweet baby...you're the one...




relax chica...no matter when she has her wedding, you will still shine. she's only a friend..not your sister or something. NO ONE can steal your thunder luv!

I am not sure what you are venting about. One of my BM's is getting married next year as well. We are in eachother's bridal parties and have had a blast being able to plan together. We have gone to showcases together, talked about invitaions, dresses, everything.

IF you aren't friends with her, then why did you ask her to be a BM in the first place? I don't think its right to now tell her you don't want her in your wedding because she got engaged. I totally respect whatever decision you make, but from your post you sound a little selfish. Maybe if you are afraid she won't
do anything for your wedding you can talk to her about your concerns. If a friend of mine got engaged and called me for advice, I would be happy to share anything I have learned in this planning process.

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

I am not sure what you are venting about. One of my BM's is getting married next year as well. We are in eachother's bridal parties and have had a blast being able to plan together. We have gone to showcases together, talked about invitaions, dresses, everything.

IF you aren't friends with her, then why did you ask her to be a BM in the first place? I don't think its right to now tell her you don't want her in your wedding because she got engaged. I totally respect whatever decision you make, but from your post you sound a little selfish. Maybe if you are afraid she won't
do anything for your wedding you can talk to her about your concerns. If a friend of mine got engaged and called me for advice, I would be happy to share anything I have learned in this planning process.

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I agree a 100%.

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

If you read my post carefully you'd notice that I mentioned that she is one of those people that will want everything done for her but would not return the gesture...I would of loved for us to be in each other's bridal parties...but unfortunately it wont work that way with her...

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hmmm.....well sylvia - lets spin this a bit. what if you let it ride a while...see if how you are prediciting she will act is really how she acts. there have been a few BM's that i would have thought would have been doing everything under the sun for me and have disapointed me greatly. she may WANT to help you so she can see what is in store for herself w/in the next year.

but i do agree - do not share too many of your ideas until she has her wedding vision set. and if she does ask you to be in her wedding party - you can always decline....

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Posted by mtdr1106

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

If you read my post carefully you'd notice that I mentioned that she is one of those people that will want everything done for her but would not return the gesture...I would of loved for us to be in each other's bridal parties...but unfortunately it wont work that way with her...

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hmmm.....well sylvia - lets spin this a bit. what if you let it ride a while...see if how you are prediciting she will act is really how she acts. there have been a few BM's that i would have thought would have been doing everything under the sun for me and have disapointed me greatly. she may WANT to help you so she can see what is in store for herself w/in the next year.

but i do agree - do not share too many of your ideas until she has her wedding vision set. and if she does ask you to be in her wedding party - you can always decline....

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You're right...I will give it some time and see how things flow...I will give her the benefit of the doubt AGAIN. And sharing with her my ideas and tips is the least that I am worried about...quite the opposite-I would LOVE to share all my findings with her...but the whole point of my disappointment is that I know that she would of not done the same for me... but I will $uck it up and try to be there for her...and like you said, I can always decline her invitation to be in her bridal party. Thanks girl for hearing me out...

Aw Sylvia, the situation stinks! I think you should stick to your plan, and when she asks for you to be a bridesmaid, suggest that both of you refrain from being in each others' bridal parties as it would be a great expense to both of you. You are honored, but no thank you.

It's the best way b/c you're being honest and not causing any additional conflict.

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Posted by ChristineAE

Aw Sylvia, the situation stinks! I think you should stick to your plan, and when she asks for you to be a bridesmaid, suggest that both of you refrain from being in each others' bridal parties as it would be a great expense to both of you. You are honored, but no thank you.

It's the best way b/c you're being honest and not causing any additional conflict.

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Posted by M&S Sept12006


You're right...I will give it some time and see how things flow...I will give her the benefit of the doubt AGAIN. And sharing with her my ideas and tips is the least that I am worried about...quite the opposite-I would LOVE to share all my findings with her...but the whole point of my disappointment is that I know that she would of not done the same for me... but I will $uck it up and try to be there for her...and like you said, I can always decline her invitation to be in her bridal party. Thanks girl for hearing me out...

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Slyvia, please don't think I am trying to mean in any way. I think I just don't understand the situation. What is it that you are expecting her to do that she hasn't been doing? Has she not looked at dresses or expressed any interest? Maybe your friend was a little jealous of you because you got engaged and she wasn't. Nowt that she is, she will be a lot more open to wedding stuff. Of course I do not know the history between the two of you, but I think maybe you should give her another chance.

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

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Posted by M&S Sept12006


You're right...I will give it some time and see how things flow...I will give her the benefit of the doubt AGAIN. And sharing with her my ideas and tips is the least that I am worried about...quite the opposite-I would LOVE to share all my findings with her...but the whole point of my disappointment is that I know that she would of not done the same for me... but I will $uck it up and try to be there for her...and like you said, I can always decline her invitation to be in her bridal party. Thanks girl for hearing me out...

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Slyvia, please don't think I am trying to mean in any way. I think I just don't understand the situation. What is it that you are expecting her to do that she hasn't been doing? Has she not looked at dresses or expressed any interest? Maybe your friend was a little jealous of you because you got engaged and she wasn't. Nowt that she is, she will be a lot more open to wedding stuff. Of course I do not know the history between the two of you, but I think maybe you should give her another chance.

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No I dont think you're being mean, its just like you said-you're not sure that you understand my concern...I dont blame you for it. Its my own little issue with her... it would be too long of a post and history to try to explain it all. I am just a little upset that as my friend, she is not there for me and doesnt express the interest that I would if I was in her bridal party. I dont think she is jealous and I will definitely give her the benefit of a doubt bc thats what friends do...I have a handful of other girls that are in my bridal party and that have been amazing researching things with me and expressing their interest...

I dont know-I have other friends that got engaged this year and I was ecstatic for them...and I was for her too, its just that I know what awaits me if I do agree to be in her bridal party...I guess this is a big talk between me and her over a 'few' drinks

Thanks girls for hearing me out and trying to understand where Im coming from.

well, I am UPSET that you didn't like my serenade!

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Posted by JessicaM.

well, I am UPSET that you didn't like my serenade!

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I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It put a big smile on my face!!!!!!!! Its just the posts after yours kind of got my mind off the track! But thank you for your lovely serenade!!!!!!!!!!!