I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
CubanBride
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I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
I have been very, very bad.
I am planning my Bachelorette/Birthday party in mid-March. I had planned to invite 5 friends. When I told FH, he gave me a look. “Aren’t you forgetting someone?” he asks me. I look, befuddled (is that a real word?)
“There is someone else in your bridal party”.
“Oh, well, oh. I don’t really think there is room for her, now that I think of it”, I say, looking down at the carpet.
“You’re going to hurt her feelings you know”, he says very father-like to me.
“Oh, well, we will see. So, are we going out” I say quickly trying to change the subject.
The truth of the matter is while I like his sister and she is very nice, she is NOT someone I would like to hang out with. She doesn’t drink or use foul language like me and my friends do. Also, she is 12 years older than us. My MOH said we can call it a HS reunion get together, bit I am not sure if that will fly.
This is my 30th birthday and I want it to be the very best in fun. We are renting a limo and driving up to Mohegan Sun. I want to be able to relax and be myself, but I won’t be able to do that if his sister is around.
Someone please tell me what to do. I know it’s wrong not to invite her, but, I just don’t wanna.
Laura1976
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
Does she realize that the 2 of you aren't 2 peas in a pod? If you invite her, she might opt out on her own, knowing that you and her don't have the same idea of a fun time.
May152005
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
I would definetly invite her, but make sure you tell her up front what the evening entails, she might not even want to come. Since you 2 get along, you really don't want to start any problems by hurting her feelings & it seems like FH really wants her to be included.
marymoon
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
I don;t see why you'd be flamed. I totally understand. I agree, maybe she'll opt out on her own, then again i don't think I'd want to take that chance..but if she's 42 and married with kids (is she? she probbaly wouldnt want to pick up and go to mohegan sun anyway. Ask FH if he thinks she'd actually show. I really don't know what I'd do in that predicament. I really picked my BP carefully so far and there's no one in it I don't want to hang out with..although I do have the problem with my sister, that she's a lot older than me, and I don't invite her and my BIL over when I invite my firneds, and feel bad, but I just feel like they're going to be parent-like, or they're gonna 'tell mommy' or something, I just don't feel like I cna be myself around them...so...I don;t know..this post was useless. I have no advice, but I understand
Lisa Rose
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
I would invite her, if she doesnt come then its her call. I would hate to be the one left out. I think she would feel pretty bad.
CubanBride
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
OK. I guess I will invite her, but let her know exactly what we are planning to do. Maybe she will opt out.
AJsMommy122
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
Posted by CubanBride
OK. I guess I will invite her, but let her know exactly what we are planning to do. Maybe she will opt out.
I think thats a good decision.
nferrandi
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
You at least have to give her the option. I think it would be really mean if you didn't invite her- even though I totally understand why you don't want to. My SIL was in my BP and she's on the quiet side. She came to Newport for the weekend with me and my friends and we all had an awesome time. My friends are way more wild than she is, but she loved it. I personally didn't invite my BILs fiance to my bach. party, but she wasn't in my bridal party and we're not friends. She actually had the nerve to be insulted, but in full fairness, she made up an excise to get out of going to my shower, so why would I invite her to my b-party?
alibali
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
Posted by CubanBride
OK. I guess I will invite her, but let her know exactly what we are planning to do. Maybe she will opt out.
i think thats a good idea
frosty
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
Give her the option to opt out. She'll probably take you up on it.
suven
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
I'll probably get flamed for this, but here goes...
As most of you know, many of my 'special' events were ruined by someone who I was never really close with. In retrospect, she should not have been invited. But, because it was the polite thing to do, I always invited her.
If I had it to do again, I would include only dear, close people to me...no matter what it is, but ESPECIALLY if it's a special event.
dpli
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
JMO- I have 2 sisters-in-law and I am not included in all of their social plans, especially birthday plans, and I don't expect to be. While I like them and I get along with both of them, we have our own lives with our own friends. I usually do something with my husband or my own friends for my birthday. It is your birthday, celebrate however you want.
nferrandi
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
Posted by dpli
JMO- I have 2 sisters-in-law and I am not included in all of their social plans, especially birthday plans, and I don't expect to be. While I like them and I get along with both of them, we have our own lives with our own friends. I usually do something with my husband or my own friends for my birthday. It is your birthday, celebrate however you want.
If it were just a b-day it would be fine if she wasn't invited, but it's not. It's your bachelorette party and she's in your bridal party and should be invited.
dpli
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
Oops, I missed the bachelorette party part before I spouted off. I agree- if she is in the BP, I don't think you can exclude her from the bachelorette party, sorry.
patti08
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
Maybe make an invitation or an evite tht indicates a night of drinking and debauchery and maybe she'd decline anyway?
Sorry, this is a tough spot. I'd invite and hope for the best.
ChristineC68
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
I am glad you decided to invite her. I think it would have been hurtfull to exclude her especially since she is your FSIL.
eroxgirl
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
I didn't put my SIL in my BP (she's 12 years older than me as well) but it wasn't an issue with us because she didn't put DH in her BP when she got married...not the point...anyway, I invited her to my bachelorette party knowing she wouldn't show - and she didn't let me down
I think you have to invite your FSIL but let her know everything that you plan on doing - she probably won't want to go anyway!
ChristineC68
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
Posted by eroxgirl
I didn't put my SIL in my BP (she's 12 years older than me as well) but it wasn't an issue with us because she didn't put DH in her BP when she got married...not the point...anyway, I invited her to my bachelorette party knowing she wouldn't show - and she didn't let me down
This is me and my SIL except she's about 2 years younger...just a little weird. She was invited and was 100% welcome, but I knew she wouldn't come out with us.
Ronkonkomonga
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
I really think you should make it her choice if she wants to be a part of the party or not. My FH is taking his significantly younger brother to the bachelor party - (he is only 17). It would have crushed him to be left out.
FLaCaTaCa
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Re: I am gonna get flamed for this, but I need advice badly.
I will just briefly say that I know how you feel and that I too will not be inviting my 3 SIL's to my bachelorette party. For most of the same reasons you hesitate to....plus a bit more.
