Brides Helping Brides ™ - I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

taraalissa Posted: Jan 22, 2003 07:21 PM

I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

In the interest of sparing you all of the many boring details (and belive me there are many), let me just ask this question-

If you truly feel that someone is not deserving of the title Maid Of Honor, shouldn't you take it away from them?

This girl did NOTHING for my shower, nor has she done anything at all for my wedding. She never asks if I need help of any sort and hardly even brings up the wedding when we talk (which by the way has been less and less fequently lately). She is not angry at me if that's what your thinking, she is just simply self-absorbed and inconsiderate.

I think I am going to call her and tell her that she is no longer the MOH, she may attend as a guest if she likes but that is about it.

LnP2003 Posted: Jan 22, 2003 07:22 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

my sister is working my last nerve.... she's my MOH - thank god for my BM's.... every last one!

2003wedding. Posted: Jan 22, 2003 07:23 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

sorry you have to deal w/that crap---is she a family member or friend--hugs to you!

taraalissa Posted: Jan 22, 2003 07:23 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

She is a friend (I use the term losely in this case though).

curly2003 Posted: Jan 22, 2003 07:24 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

Think how that will affect your friendship AFTER the wedding and if you really care. Follow your heart. You have already been through so much that you don't deserve this. Good Luck

Stacey1403 Posted: Jan 22, 2003 07:25 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

I say rid yourself of toxic friendships You don't want to look back on your wedding day and say I wish I had done things differently! Good Luck

taraalissa Posted: Jan 22, 2003 07:26 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

The point is, do we really have a friendship? That's what I keep asking myself. The answer I keep coming up with is- not anymore. I think we have grown apart. Has anyone else gone through this?

balilove Posted: Jan 22, 2003 07:26 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

This is a tough one but, I'd can her. I would not want a MOH who doesn't really care about me or my big day. I'm sorry that this is happening to you and you don't need the extra stress. Without knowing all the painful details, I would still remove her from the bridal party.LOL

jennbaby Posted: Jan 22, 2003 07:27 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

My MOH is doing SO much for me. She found my shower place, booked it, collected the money from BM's & my mom, is getting the favors, making extras, organizing games....She even called me last night & said turn on the Oxygen Channel, it has weddings on it & after that don't forget In Style Celebrity weddings.
She always asks me what I have left and when I want to do it. She does all this and is TTC (she is having difficulty TTC) and she always puts me first no matter whather feelings or problems are, that's why I chose her.

I am sorry this is happening to you. Ask yourself why you chose her to begin with and then talk to her and tell her how you feel.

Good Luck

msmeanie1 Posted: Jan 22, 2003 07:28 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

It is never to late to change your mind. Give the honor to someone that deserves it. Your MOH should be someone special that shares in your joy, not thereown.

Stacey1403 Posted: Jan 22, 2003 07:39 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

When DH and I first got together I had one friend who in a million years I would never ever think I would never be friends with. But she became very distant and things were said behind my back(my DH and I had a rocky road getting together) she was not supportive at all. The friendship suffered greatly. But I feel like if she were a true friend she would have supported me thru all things. You know deep in your heart if this friendship is true or not. It stinks that you have to go thru all this but, you don't want to have something terrible happen at your wedding. Good Luck.

2003wedding. Posted: Jan 22, 2003 07:56 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

i agree w/jenn--ask yourself why you chose her in the first place
she doesn't seem like a type of person you can actually sit down and talk about this with
do you have someone to take her place?

sept20yay! Posted: Jan 22, 2003 08:06 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

My sister was my MOH- has no clue what to do- thru no fault of her own and Actually came to me and said 'I am going to disappoint you. I am not sure of how to be a MOH.' I took my best friend and made her co-moh.... Now everything is getting done b/c of her and I feel so at ease. My advice to save all: add another MOH.

LnP2003 Posted: Jan 22, 2003 08:42 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

wise choice marisa - that's pretty much what happened with my girls & i'm so terribly thankful to them!

wacky Posted: Jan 22, 2003 09:47 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

Wow, my MOH of honor is not helping with the shower or anything. I didnt really expect her or the bm's too.

My moms throwing it, so I dont see the need I guess.

Oh well, either that or I expect way to little from people.

Have you tried talking to her maybe something is up in her life.. Could be.

Stavia Posted: Jan 22, 2003 10:04 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

I know exactly how you feel Tara. My MOH has been my best friend forever & well, she's always been self absorbed & incondsiderate of other people's feelings. She has a lot of issues so I guess I just always dealt with her being like that. I really thought for my wedding she'd step up to the plate & be there for me(I have always been there for her). Well, needless to say she has done nothing to help with any wedding planning at all. And to make things worse a week & a half ago my FH stopped by her house, to find another friend of hers there dog sitting because she went with her boyfriend for 3 weeks to Virginia & never told me!!! And I still have yet to hear from her. In the mean time another friend of mine has real been doing everything to help me(including coming over the night I found out my MOH left town in her PJ's to calm me down). So what I have deceided to do is when my 'best' friend comes home sit here down & basically tell her if she can't handle the responsiblities of being MOH then she can just be a guest. I don't want to ruin my friendship with her, so I am going to let her understand my expectations & she can make the choice. Honestly, I think she might be happy to get rid of the commitment. It makes me really sad because I really wanted her to share this with me. But wedding planning is stressful enough, I need a MOH I can count on(esspecially since I am planning on having no bridesmaids).

OCT1203 Posted: Jan 22, 2003 10:40 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

I know exactly how you feel!!! Listen to this one...
My MOH has been nothing but a pain in my butt!! I was her MOH last May and since she doesn't talk to her parents and her sisters are very young, I tried to fiil the void for her. I bought her necklace and earrings for her($ 180), her lingera (sp?)for the wedding night($85) picked up the slack when she kick one BM out because she wasn't paying anything and countless other things! All of the BM's (except 1 cousin on his side) were friends and some weren't even close friends. She asked one co-worker to be a BM only after knowing her for only 2 months ( I think she was just trying to make the BP even). So everyone was really on the cheap side. Still she had a wonderful bridal shower and bacholerette night!

Let me tell you about 3 weeks ago this b??ch complained how cheap she felt everything was and how she felt more could have been done and she could have gotten a bigger present from us ( we got her a very nice quilt that was $140). All these girls did everytime I met with them was to complain how much money everything was. See she mentioned that because my family mentioned to me that they wanted to get us a 'big ticket item' like a refrig. My whole BP except her and one other friend is all family.

It doesn't even end there...then we get into this big fight because basically she is a jealous c??t and doesn't want me to be friends with the other friend in my BP. So this is what she wrote to me last friday right before i went to the GTG........Theres so much i want to say but i dont know where to start. I dont think that you are there for me anymore like a best friend is sappose to be and maybe im not there for you. i feel that we have grown apart and i have tried to pull us back together but the fact that deborah is more important than me is the last straw. The fact that she lies to me to obviously cause a fight between us doesnt concern you in the least is a big problem but im not willing to ignore it. Friends grow apart and im sorry that its us because we have been like sisters for so long. I am sorry but i cant be your matron of honer because i feel i dont deserve that honor especially since im not as important to you as i thought i was and since so much has changed. I wish you and anthony the best of luck and happiness in life and on your wedding day.
lots of luck
.... Can you believe her???? Thank god I had two MOH ( my wonderful aunt). I have not her from this B??ch since then and don't wish too. The two things I am sad about is that her daughter is my goddaughter and was my flowergirl and that less than a year ago i spent well over $1000 on her wedding. Sorry I really needed to vent
Tarralissa- I say if she doesn't seem to think that this is top priority kick her out!!! My aunt has always told me that my wedding was priority and has so far made me feel that she definatly meant what she said. I regret not making her my only MOH from the begining. Thanks for listening!! Sorry so long

Jenny Posted: Jan 22, 2003 10:50 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

Weddings are a very stressful time for everyone involved. I don't know the whole situation but there might be feelings like jealousy going on. My sister was my MOH and she was a royal pain. She would argue and scream at me and tell my mother I was being mean to her. It really got so bad at the end that I wanted to kick her out too.
I don't know what happened but the day of the wedding she wrote us a beautiful poem in her card and was as sweet as pie. I never spoke to her about what was bothering her and causing her to react that way but I sure there was something going on.
Seven months later our relationship is fine and I really would have caused irreparable damage if I kicked her out. The wedding is one day; just remember there is life after the wedding.

Good Luck!

OCT1203 Posted: Jan 22, 2003 10:53 PM

Re: I am literally 30 seconds away from kicking my MOH out of the wedding.

The only thing I have to say is that having a family member in your BP is ALOT different than having a friend. Friends come and go and can just say 'bye have a nice life' but it's alot harder for a family member to do that.