I am offended, wouldn't you be?

Original post by prncssrachel

Mar 20, 2003 08:09 PM

FH's cousin is getting married in May and we received the invitation. This is his first cousin, whom I have met, and they know we are getting married.....yet on the invitation, they didn't even bother to put my name, and we live together! They just put & Guest. We were offended. I think for our wedding we're going to put her name & First husband

Cindy Posted: Mar 20, 2003 10:40 PM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

The same thing happened to me. What was even worse was his cousin was getting married three weeks after us and we sent them an invitation with his cousins name and her fiances name on the envelope. Since they had our invitation, they had my full name, so there was no excuse for not having my last name especially since they sent their invites out a few weeks after ours. When we were going to attend her wedding we would of been husband and wife. They put his name and guest and we were both really insulted. I asked him what the place cards for seating will say,'john Smith and guest' when we were husband and wife?
Just plain rude and ignorant trouble makers.

swags1016 Posted: Mar 20, 2003 10:40 PM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

I would be and it happened to me in November!

farah416 Posted: Mar 21, 2003 12:20 AM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

I'd say more annoyed than offended. It just shows laziness to an extreme. But you know what? It reflects badly on them, not you. I mean, email makes things even easier, you know? Doesn't take much to drop a line and say, hey! What's your significant other's full name? you know?

Jen2704 Posted: Mar 21, 2003 01:52 AM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

how irritating!!

Mindy0247 Posted: Mar 21, 2003 06:35 AM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

Hi,

That is rude. Listen to what happened to me. My fiance and I were not engaged yet, but living together and about to get engaged at Christmas time. We went to his aunt's house and she wrote to John and mate on the present. BOY WAS I OFFENDED. I know how you feel.

isopodi Posted: Mar 21, 2003 12:49 PM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

Since you are engaged, your name should have been included on the invitation. However, I would try to overlook this. When we were sending out our wedding invitations to people, I have to admit that I made the same mistake to some people. Wedding Etiquette says that if people are not married or engaged to be married (it doesn't matter if they live together or not) you invite the person with a guest. It doesn't matter if two people were living together for years or dating for years- if they are not married or engaged- you invite the person with a Guest.
There are so many people to keep track of when it comes to weddings that mistakes can be made (I know I made a few and was too lazy to print out a new address label and just assumed that the person wouldn't mind or would understand). I would just chalk this up to a mistake and not make a big deal out of it.

Besides, it could be worse - My husband was invited to his cousin's wedding last year without a date at all and we were engaged at the time. I was a little annoyed as well.

julykbride Posted: Mar 21, 2003 12:55 PM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

That is so rude! I would be offended.

Rose Posted: Mar 21, 2003 01:10 PM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

really not worth spending time worrying about. there are more important things in life.

DrmnBlnd Posted: Mar 21, 2003 01:21 PM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

very rude...

shelzyp Posted: Mar 21, 2003 01:26 PM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

I think it was rude, I really appreciated that when yabbobay got married she called me to ask the proper spelling of my FH's name, at the time we were living together and had dated for 8 years.

We also just got an e-party invitation that read Mr Vinny and guest, when we had sent them a save the date announcement 2 months ago!!!!!

Sage10.03 Posted: Mar 21, 2003 01:32 PM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

rude, rude, rude!

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Mar 21, 2003 01:49 PM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

I would be upset but I think another thing to consider is who wrote the invitations - for example my parents are doing my e-party invites and I gave them any person's significant other's name - but my father wasn't sure how to address the outside (no inside envelope) since these people DID NOT live together (one is an engaged couple and the FH is in our wedding party) He ended up doing it right - but if you have someone who doesn't know you doing the invitations for a surprise party they may not be aware of your living arrangement or status etc. JMO - but having said that I would be upset not offended

livinnsin Posted: Mar 21, 2003 02:01 PM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

Oh that has happened to me. I get so mad! Some of my FH family has sent invitations to Joe and guest and we have lived together for 2 years- hello! Im even helping to raise his daughter. So when I answer back I make sure my name is on there or ill right Joe and fiancee' Karen ! Yoou would think that they would get the hint. But yes I know that it hurts.

atlastbride Posted: Mar 21, 2003 06:30 PM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

Definitely rude!

The same thing happened to me once and I decided that day that I would never make anyone feel that way when addressing my wedding invitations. I have already obtained the correct spelling of first and last names of significant others for both family and friends. I feel it's the right thing to do.

prncssrachel Posted: Mar 21, 2003 07:48 PM

Re: I am offended, wouldn't you be?

Personally, I just thought it was rude and in poor etiquette, but definitely not something to confront someone about. As for those who told me there are better things to worry about, I am well aware of this, but it was obviously important enough that you respond. Sorry, I'm feeling snippy, please excuse me while I pout.