I Am So MAD At My Church..

When we first got engaged in 2004, I called the church to tell them the day we picked. Well, the secretary there was so snotty and told me to call back closer to 2006!

I had also called in between then and now to find out about pre-cana, and I was told by the secretary that I had to meet with the Priest first b/c FH didn't receive his confirmation... OK.. Well, everytime I have called, I was told the Father isn't in to make an appt, and to call back Monday. So I call Monday, and I'm told the secretary isn't in to make appt, please call back during the week... Needless to say, I found out she also has off on Wednesdays!!!!!! During all this she kept telling me that I have plenty of time to do pre-cana...

In october 2005, I called again to make an appt... Again I was told to call in November. In November, I had my car accident, and was unable to do anything.

Phone tag has been going on since the beginning of January now, on my part. NOT once has the church ever returned ANY of my gazillion phone calls.

TODAY, I called again, and again the secretary wasn't there, BUT the girl there said to call the Parish's Deacon b/c he does the 'In House' pre-cana... NO ONE ever told me my parish does the in house pre-cana, I was always told just to go through the Diocese... Well, I just got off the phone with the Deacon, and I MISSED the Spring Pre-cana.. It started 2 weeks agao! I would have to wait until the Fall, and the Fall one goes pass my wedding date! Now, I HAVE to go through the Diocese, But, If I was told sooner by the 'MIA' secretary, I would have made it....

My Question is..... Is a Deacon almost the same as a priest??? Can you tell I'm a Bad Catholic??? He offered to do my wedding ceremony, and I'm not sure if it would make a difference... Please Help Me!!!!!

ETA: I also kinda got in trouble for not being an 'ACTIVE' member of the church, b/c the Deacon advertises the pre-cana class in the Church Bulletin...

i'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. maybe it won't be so bad through the diocese. did they at least put your date on the calendar yet??!!

i am doing a ceremony, not a full mass, and the deacon will be performing our ceremony. deacon's are allowed to get married so they have some perspective on the whole thing and can relate!

I am not Catholic but my friend and her husband did a 1 weekend precana and that was all they had to do. Then again, they go to church ALL THE TIME and even when on vacation (out of the country too) they always find a Catholic church to attend

I'm sorry to hear about that.

The Diocesean Pre-Cana programs are good, they are usually 2 days (they changed from 1 day last year) and are offered fairly often. They tend to be more expensive than the in Parish Pre-Cana programs. We did a Diocesean one through the Archdiocese of NY (we don't live on Long Island and couldn't make the multi-night one at my church) and it was great.

First,
I am so sorry! That was so WRONG of them not to call you back. That really *****!
You don't have to take the in house you can take the weekend encounter. What are those dates?? I know it is more money but you can still have your preist marry you at your church. Again, sorry you are getting the run-around from the church. I am sure it is driving you bananas.
I will call you in a few

My church is being a real pain in the a$$ too

Why do they have to make it soooo damn difficult???

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Posted by gina674
ETA: I also kinda got in trouble for not being an 'ACTIVE' member of the church, b/c the Deacon advertises the pre-cana class in the Church Bulletin...

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This is part of the reason why I didn't go w/ a church for the ceremony- besides having to talk about sex w/ complete strangers in pre-cana! I give you girls credit!

That's absolutely absurd that someone who

works in a church should catch an attitude with you! I'm so sorry.
I don't think a deacon doing your ceremony would make any difference, esp if you don't know the difference! Don't worry, you just need a place to do it, and someone to do it for you!

Gina- Sorry to hear of this situation with your church. As others have asked, did the church at least put you in the book for your wedding?

As for Pre-Cana, I would not worry TOO much where you do it, just that it gets done.

Next, speak with someone and make an appointment with the Priest who will marry you. If you cannot get someone to do that for you (make the appt), then give them your number r politely say you'll have to select another parish to go to.

Have you belonged to this church for long? Do you know any other members who may have some clout (sp?) with the clergy?

MANY s and well wishes....let me know how it goes!!

-Jill

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Posted by MsKitty1274

Gina- Sorry to hear of this situation with your church. As others have asked, did the church at least put you in the book for your wedding?

Have you belonged to this church for long? Do you know any other members who may have some clout (sp?) with the clergy?

MANY s and well wishes....let me know how it goes!!

-Jill

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Thank you all for the hugs... When I got off the phone with the Deacon I didn't know whether to scream or cry...

They did put us in the book for our date, which is yet Another story... When I told the Deacon that we are getting married at 3pm on a Thursday, he was like, 'Oh, you mean Friday..' and I said, ' No, I mean Thursday'.. The Deacon thinks that could be the reason why the secretary was so rude. He said that they aren't use to all the 'New' changes in the way people are doing things now adays. I told him that since my FH and I are paying for the WHOLE wedding we needed to do it this way....

We both have grown up going to this church. I received ALL of my sacraments there, and so has FH, except for his confirmation.. And.. FH's parents going to church EVERY SINGLE WEEK.....!!!!! Not only that, but both of our families still make regular contributions to the church... I originally wanted to complete my sacraments and get married there, but all this crap is pissing my off. I know both of our parents want us to get married in a church, and I just got off the phone with my mom, and she would rather us get married by a priest... So, tomorrow her and I our goung Church hunting... Strange, I know, but I don't like my church right now. I'm going to ask my mom if we can go see the church were my parents got married. That would be nice, right????

Thank you all again.. I got many nice FMs from you I feel better today, but still disappointed with them... I am going to look into other churches today though..