One of my Bridesmaids told me three weeks ago that she was pregnant. I was so excited for her at the same time so mad because she told everyone at my shower, but whatever. So I waited about a week to call her and ask her if she would have to exchange her dress or not because her dress currently fits her like a glove. So I called Davids Bridal and they said no problem. They did say thought that is was a popular dress and didn't recommend her waiting. Everyday that she waits was one more day before it would come in. So as of two weeks ago the estimated date was Oct 2 (which is 3 weeks before my wedding). I let her know this and she says she will take care of it.
So I waited another week to give her time and when I asked her if she ordered the new size she says No not yet, why? So I explained to her that they recommended her to go ASAP. We were talking through text message and she never responded. So I waited another week giving her the benefit of the doubt. I leave her a message she never responds.
So I called her again today and she responds the she is on it. I said, you went and ordered a new dress? No response about an hour or so later she calls and tells me that she is 8 weeks pregnant her health and baby are more important at this point than my wedding and its just a dress and to get over it. That she got married last year and she is not stupid and She will take care of it when she has time. I explained to her that I understood her situation and that if she would communicate with me then maybe I would not have asked her so many times. She started screaming at me that I am not her mother and she doesn't have to tell me anything. That it is f***** dress and that she understands that it is my day, but I am stressing her and her baby about a dress and to get over it.
I don't know what to do. I feel so hurt that she would talk to me that way and make me feel guilty about my wedding. I have not asked anyone in my BP to do anything regarding this wedding other than the usual get a dress, shoes and your hair done. I am just so sad. Am I over reacting? what should I do?
Sorry so long- vent over
Jennifer907
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Re: I am so upset............*warning LONG*
Ooooh I'd be PO'd too! Chalk it up to hormones and don't let it ruin the few weeks you have left of planning your beautiful wedding. Everything will work out.
TattooAnkh
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Re: I am so upset............*warning LONG*
Wow...that is TOTALLY uncalled for. If this is out of the ordinary for her, I would just assume she's super-stressed about being pregnant, and maybe being a bit hormonal.
However, I still don't think that's an excuse for her flipping out on you like that! It seems to me like you went about it very calmly, and trying to be nice about everything. Her responses were both rude and inconsiderate.
Maybe you guys can get together and have a heart to heart?
gaccrrm
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Posted by TattooAnkh
Wow...that is TOTALLY uncalled for. If this is out of the ordinary for her, I would just assume she's super-stressed about being pregnant, and maybe being a bit hormonal.
However, I still don't think that's an excuse for her flipping out on you like that! It seems to me like you went about it very calmly, and trying to be nice about everything. Her responses were both rude and inconsiderate.
Maybe you guys can get together and have a heart to heart?
Unfortunately this is just her. Everything always has to be about her, but she is family so I am trying to deal. Speaking to her is like talking to a wall.
PegaLega
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WOW I would not have let her scream at me. i dont agree with that at all but I do have to say that she is preggo and if she is a first time mom she may be very stressed at to how to react to things in general. It will get done-try not to stress yourself over it. 3 weeks is enough time for her to get the necessary alterations before your wedding
gaccrrm
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Posted by PegaLega
WOW I would not have let her scream at me. i dont agree with that at all but I do have to say that she is preggo and if she is a first time mom she may be very stressed at to how to react to things in general. It will get done-try not to stress yourself over it. 3 weeks is enough time for her to get the necessary alterations before your wedding
Well now since she waited the estimated day for the dress to come in is oct 16 which is 10 days before the wedding.
That is just it I do understand that she is stressed. I just wished that she would communicate with me. That is all I am asking. I am going to let it go. I just never have been spoken to like that and belittled. I guess I am just sad and astonished that it happened.
TattooAnkh
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Ugh...that's awful. I'm so sorry! Well...this is what I would do if I were in your position. Take it with a grain of salt, because obviously I don't know her or your history with her - I'm just going by what I'd do.
I'd call her one more time, and apologize for stressing her out so much. That I can only imagine how crazy it must be finding out she's pregnant. Besides all the wonderful things about it, coming to terms with all the new stress and pressure must be difficult. That I can understand somewhat where she's coming from, but that for me, my wedding is the most important thing in my life at the moment, as having a child is in hers. Since her wedding wasn't too long ago, I'm sure she can remember how she wanted everything to be just perfect and stress-free for her special day. So, she has two options: 1. Get the dress ASAP or, if that's simply too much for her right now, 2. Bow out gracefully from the bridal party and the resposibilities that go with it. EIther way, I won't be mad, I just don't want either of us to be stressing about it anymore.
Wow...guess I got into this post, LOL. Must be because my MOH was pregnant and I can only imagine how I would have reacted had she been like your BM is being!
gaccrrm
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Posted by TattooAnkh
Ugh...that's awful. I'm so sorry! Well...this is what I would do if I were in your position. Take it with a grain of salt, because obviously I don't know her or your history with her - I'm just going by what I'd do.
I'd call her one more time, and apologize for stressing her out so much. That I can only imagine how crazy it must be finding out she's pregnant. Besides all the wonderful things about it, coming to terms with all the new stress and pressure must be difficult. That I can understand somewhat where she's coming from, but that for me, my wedding is the most important thing in my life at the moment, as having a child is in hers. Since her wedding wasn't too long ago, I'm sure she can remember how she wanted everything to be just perfect and stress-free for her special day. So, she has two options: 1. Get the dress ASAP or, if that's simply too much for her right now, 2. Bow out gracefully from the bridal party and the resposibilities that go with it. EIther way, I won't be mad, I just don't want either of us to be stressing about it anymore.
Wow...guess I got into this post, LOL. Must be because my MOH was pregnant and I can only imagine how I would have reacted had she been like your BM is being!
Thanks for the advice. I am definitely going to take this into consideration.
Mooshyboo
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I would be upset as you are but you have to remember she is very hormonal right about now.... should not hold anything against her due to her pregnancy! my girlfriend was wacky when she was pregant sending me not so nice e-mails etc... then once she had the baby she was back to her normal self... but I totaly understand your situation and this is still you big day and 'your special time'.... hang in there and dont worry ~ try not to stress!
MF9282
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Re: I am so upset............*warning LONG*
HOLY HORMONES!!!!!
I'd be upset too. Let's try and give her the benefit of the doubt and blame it on the hormones? So far my experience with planning a wedding is some people get funny and little things that would make us feel more at ease they simply don't do. I am not quite sure why but I only notice it with certain people who also explain to me they have a lot going on my wedding is not their no. 1 priority. Which is fine but cmon.... The conclusion Congrats on her new pregnancy but go get the darn dress!
sweetdreamz1181
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I would be very upset too... I understand how everyone says hormones but come on......your Best bet is to call her one more time and explain that she is an important part of your day and you only wanted to make sure she got her dress.......if She gets nasty again I would tell her there is no need for her to be a bridesmaid anymore!
Drv0716
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Re: I am so upset............*warning LONG*
Ok her yelling at you was just uncalled for. Going to exchange her dress for another size probably won't impact the health of her or her baby. Believe me, I know pregnancy hormones can make you crazy, but it's no excuse to treat friends badly & to be so selfish. Of course her health is important, but if you are her friend she should understand that your wedding is important too, and honestly, you aren't asking too much of her.
I think you need to try calling her & ask her nicely one more time, and maybehaving a little heart to heart talk would be a good idea, too. I'm sorry you have this extra stress.
nycerika318
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Re: I am so upset............*warning LONG*
Wow, her hormones must be raging... Everything will work out. Hopefully, at this point, she will just go out and get the dress already!
cncoso
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wow....I would be so pissed if my friend screamed at me like that. BUT I also dont think it's worth losing a friend over. One of my BM's backed out cause she was preggo and just couldn't afford it. I was upset but were still close. I uess I would try and sit down with your friend and hopefully solve this issue! Sorry for what your going through! here are some
JMM7876
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well first of all I would be pissed if she was yelling at me about something SHE hasnt done yet. At this point, I would say to myself....ya know what screw her if she doesnt get another dress....then she wont be in my wedding but she CERTAINTLY wont ruin this for me!! Lots of luck to you...dealing with that
gaccrrm
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Thanks ladies for all the advice. You all definitely made me feel better. She is my cousin and I am not going to create family problems over a dress. If she doesn't do what she has to do that is her choice, but she just will not walk down the aisle. I can't stress over people who are self centered.
SylvieB
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Georgia Sorry your going through this so close to your wedding. She definetly shouldn't have spoken to you like that and my feeling would be hurt too. As a mom, I know those first couple of months of pregnancy are crazy and hormones are all over the place. (Still not an excuse for her to have been so rude) But, what I would say is to not say anything to her at all about the situation. If she can't fit into her dress, she's not in the wedding. So what? Your day will go on and you will still be a beautiful bride.
I got into that mindset a long time ago b/c I have a BM or 2 that arent the most reliable and I decided that I was not going to stress myself out about them. I have enough to worry about. I just found out one of my BM's is 8 weeks preggo too, luckily her dress is big on her.
Good luck, I hope she does the right thing.
B22
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Re: I am so upset............*warning LONG*
as someone who has BEEN pregnant... hormones can be a b*tch...
HOWEVER... F*ck her. hormones or not, she should NOT make your wedding any less a priority.. she should KNOW how important your wedding is to you sinces *SHES BEEN MARRIED*
put it this way, let her be... if she doesnt get the dress sorted in time, GUESS WHAT... youre not in the BP anymore.
Krisjc2178
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Re: I am so upset............*warning LONG*
Im sorry that she was so mean to you.....no one deserves to be spoken to like that. At the same time, I can only think how wacky her hormones are right now, but that still doesn't make it right. I would wait a few days and maybe email her or call her and just tell her that you weren;t trying to be a pest and that you were really hurt by the way she spoke to you.
diva7531
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Re: I am so upset............*warning LONG*
So sorry you are going thru this, the above posters are tight hormones stress you out!!! I was preggo once, but don't remember screaming at anyone! Let her be she will take care of it, be the better person abd tell her you are sorry, blah, blah, you care about her and the baby (which I am sure you do) and you know she will do what she has to do.
Side note: Davids says 6 weeks, but really mean 6 days. I returned a bridal gown, came in in 2 weeks, BM returned a dress came in in 7days. No worry it eill get here. Also, she probably won't be showing too much by then, she'll be @ 4 1/2months, unless she starts gaining weight all over. Good Luck, I hope it works out and she apologizes for screaming at you
