Ever since FH and I started planning this wedding, we have been fighting. This is not something we ever did before we were engaged. And 9 times out of 10 it has to do with money or the wedding, or money relating to the wedding. We have been really good with our budget, and scored some great vendors. But I feel like every time we have a payment due at the hall, or another deposit is put down, or something else is bought, it's an argument.
There are days when I feel like why the hell are we even doing this. I have my moments when I think I should not be getting married because of all the stress. I finally realize what my other family members went through. FH and I have agreed on every single vendor, but on small things we can't agree for our lives. And the arguing is carrying over into other things. I know we're happy for 90% of the time. But it's times like this that get me frustrated.
Is anyone else going through this? He's the positive one and I'm the typical female worry wart. He keeps telling me not to worry. But I feel like he has been so non chalant about everything, I have to worry. Because if I don't do it, no one will.
Augh.....thanks for letting me vent. I didn't feel like creating another account for the sake of anonymity.
carlsbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: I can't be the only one.....
Here is a suggestion...on our last day of Pre-Cana, our Priest gave us another requirement. From now until the wedding, my FI and I must go out on a date every 2 weeks and we are not allowed to discuss ANYTHING about the wedding. The date cannot be to the movies or anything like that, it has to be a date where we can look at each other and talk.
FI and I never fought, since the engagement we have definitely had more heated conversations. I hate that because it is all over stupid crap, stuff that is not going to MATTER at all in 15 years.
Just a suggestion, I think the date thing will help and keep you focused on the love you have for each other.
MrsH1156
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Member since
Re: I can't be the only one.....
No, you're not alone in this. My FH and I argue about things that he feels I'm pestering him about (picking his bridal party, when we should see certain vendors, etc). I'm sure we'll argue more when our wedding gets closer because, like you and your FH, he's the calm one and I stress over everything. My FSIL and her husband went through this before they got married this past June. Since the wedding, she says he treats her so much better than before they were married...and he's always treated her like gold so you can just imagine! I think it's normal because you're both probably stressing and it comes out in small ways. Also, you guys live together so it's not like you can 'get away' from each other. Hang in there and just remember that, in the end, it will all be worth it and you'll wonder what you were arguing about.
MrsFelix
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Member since
Re: I can't be the only one.....
You're definitely not alone in this one. We've had several arguments over the wedding, but thankfully we get over them quickly. Don't worry, you'll make it through this.
idovig
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Member since
Re: I can't be the only one.....
Your not alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BKtoLI
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Member since
Re: I can't be the only one.....
Thanks all for making me feel better!!!
We worked it out last night and I figured out we should be fine financially as long as neither of us makes any large purchases!!
Good to know I am not alone in this!
M&S Sept12006
Posted:
Member since
Re: I can't be the only one.....
I dont know if this weird or what not but that is one thing we dont fight about LOL...Im serious...I do my thing financially and he does his...we pay our billls half n half and as far as the wedding goes we go half n half as well...when it comes down for a downpayment, whoever has the money lays out the downpayment...I mean he has freaked out before when I told him how much the whole thing all together will run us but then he calmed down and said, hey we gotta do what we gotta do...
October Bliss
Posted:
Member since
Re: I can't be the only one.....
You are soooo not alone. FH & I did not have one single fight before we were engaged. Since wedding planning started we have had several arguments, and each and every one of them has been around wedding stuff. Whether it is money, or the guest list (last night ), or dance lessons, or flowers, or whatever, each argument has been about the wedding. Last night, during the guest list discussion I told him if we weren't going to cut back on something else to make sure we could pay in the event some of my guaranteed 'no's' said yes, then we should just elope, because I wasn't cutting the guest list any further.
