I can't believe my sister did this to me...

You guys are so sweet and supportive. Thanks for all the understandings and hugs - really! As mentioned, I've decided to cut off ties with both her and my mom. They are too selfish and hurtful to me - family or not. Regardless of what I was mad/annoyed/upset at, I would never do this to her - or to anyone - especially in an email. No matter how you look at it, she was not in any way justified to do this to me - unless she wanted to hurt me and be done with it - and she did...

Thank you again, really!!

I am so sorry you are going through this I know how tough it must be having a sister like that! You just go on with your wedding and enjoy every minute of the planning and the shower and the wedding with or without them it is your day!!

Meredith, thanks. What you're (and everyone else) saying is right, but it's so hurtful and hard to do. I guess if I was more like my sister, this wouldn't bother me so much. Thanks again.

I'll be your MOH

Dori...i want to tell you that it could be for the best...and I speak from the oppostie experience...

my sister and I have always butted heads...but I know that my mother would be devestated if we weren't each others MOHs...so I didn't even ask her...it was assumed...but I almost wish that she had given it up...

she planned a shower that was totally not me...didn't invite my best friend since 7th grade (ALSO A BM!!!) my shower was pretty pathetic...

then she didn't organize a bach party until a week before...and no one could come...even though i told her to consult with my 2 BMs who know where I like to go out, etc...but she didn't want to listen to them b/c my cousin (whom I love dearly) is a doctor and couldn't make it...so she scheduled it for the afternoon...

It was really a clusterf*ck...

then 2 weeks before my wedding...I was planning her shower and she told me that she wanted to invite 90 people!!!! meanwhile she didn't invite my BM!!



so I do wish that my sister stepped down...it would have saved a lot of agita for me...


but I am really sorry that your mom is acting this way on top of everything

Jenn - thanks!!

yabbobay, I'm sorry to hear that! I do understand what you're saying. To me though, it wasn't even about the shower, kind of shower, etc. Actually, I heard that she was going to do a 'beach theme' since I didn't get the beach wedding i wanted. I am hurt at the fact that she (ONCE AGAIN) took her anger/frustration at someone else out on ME! my FI didn't mean any harm, and honestly, it wasn't so horrible that it warranted her acting so rashly and cruelly. she could have just called him and said she had a special idea for me and that was that. she CHOSE to hurt me, and knowing her, if she didn't want to do the hurting, she wouldn't have. she knew exactly what she was doing and exactly how i would feel. she had choices, and she chose to hurt me.

i would say to make your FSIL your MOH..

You know what she is probably jealous of you and that is her problem. Being someone's moh is like it says 'Honor' and she doesn't deserve that honor, you need to give it to someone that does, as much as it hurts that it isn't going to be her.

You can borrow my daughter kayla to be a flower girl if you want, she was supposed to be mine so now she can be yours!

OMG. That is terrible. I think she should have called you up and told you. Not through an e mail. That is the cowards way out. Good luck.

Meredith, that IS so sweet - thanks!

Emily, the ironic thing is that i WANTED to ask my FSIL! But, I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT MY SISTER!! I said that even though she has hurt me and our relationship wasn't what it used to be, I just couldn't think of hurting her that way. I had a hard time asking her b/c of how I felt. But, in the end, I just couldn't bring myself to hurt her no matter what.

As I said, ironically enough, she chose to hurt me and didn't even give it a second thought...

wow - how mean of her Regardless of the reasoning behind her decision, I think it's rude to say the least to send that in an EMAIL! That is a conversation that should have been done in person, or if not possible, over the phone. It's only cowardly to send something that important and hurtful through mail. Just my 2 cents.

Hope it all works out for you

Terri, I (and many others) couldn't agree with you more. There was no reason for the drastic and hurtful actions she took. Thanks.

the more I think about it - I'd be more insulted that she sent that trying to hide behind in an email rather than wanting to back out of the wedding! LOL

Ugh - seriously though, sorry to hear you're going through this. When something like this comes from family, it's so hurtful and frustrating.

Teri, I know - believe me, I know. thanks again!

I am sooooooooooo sorry to hear your situations. My MOH is barely activly involved. so I can relate but for her to be so hurtful and drag a 3-yr old into it too is just not right. It'll work to be the best. lots of supportive hugs

my sister and i are going through tthe same thing right now - but she told me to my face rather than emailed it...


if you need someone who truly understands, feel free to email me!

I am so sorry to hear this! I hope you have the wedding of your dreams! Your FI sounds like a good guy! You are starting your own family so enjoy it and forget about them.