One of my bridesmaids ( a friend from highschool) deicded to tell me last night through IM that she doesnt think she can be in my bridal party because she is in another wedding in DECEMBER in florida and it is too expensive for her. She said it is putting unneccesary stress on her to find a job (she just graduated grad school...her parents have paid for EVERYTHING for her her entire life) and she wants time to 'breath' before she has to find a real job. I was so upset and crying because my two best friends are in med school and arent working... barely scarpping by yet they wouldnt dream of not being in my wedding.
I feel like she is being completely selfish.. I mean you have to see the convo.... its all about money. Its almost as if she were saying Im not a close enough friend for her to be paying 'all this' money.. I havent even LOOKED at bridesmaid dresses yet and my shower is MONTHS away.
I guess it is better she dropped out now, but what do I do... most of my possibilities for breidsmaids already now we asked everyone and its so tacky to be a B list bridesmaid.
We are just so very hurt because she is really not under any more stress financially or otherwise then anyone else in our group of friends.
Lately I feel like I dont even want thsi wedding anymore because people are just so self centered and cant even be happy for us. I have gotten sooooo much **** for trying to plan a damn BBQ for an e party that I cant imagine how it will be for the wedding. People take all the fun out of it.
Thanks for reading this and please offer advice. It ***** because there are other girls I would have LOVED to ask but I chose her and now I feel I am stuck with an uneven bridal party
PrincessAurora
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Re: I cant believe this...long please help
Just remember things happen for a reason and it may all start to make sense now that this has happened. I am sorry that you have to deal with this and wish you the best of luck with everything.
shellnroc
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Re: I cant believe this...long please help
So Sorry you have to go through this unecessary BS. It sounds to me she probably didn't want to be in your BP and is making money an excuse IMO. If that is the case why would you want her. If you really don't want an even number of attendants in your party then ask another girl. Explain to them the situation. I'm sure they would understand if they are a real friend. Don't let ANYONE bring you down.
Wintersbride
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Re: I cant believe this...long please help
I too also have an uneven bridal party (I have 6 BM's, he has 4 GM). It's better that she tell you now, but I do understand why you are hurt. Don't let it stress you out though. It's about you and FH...anybody else's opinion is secondary. Personally I am a BM in 2 weddings the same year I am getting married, but I would not miss the opportunity to stand by the side of two very important people. I am so sorry you are hurt right now , but in the end it's for the best.
ChrissynRicky
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Re: I cant believe this...long please help
Posted by Jen2999
Thanks guys. I know it is better to find out now but I was just reallllyyyy upset last night.
For those that criticized me for judging... you are not friends with her... she is a completely selfish friend who takes takes and it is completely in her character to be like this with money. If it were one of the other girls I would not have had this reaction.... its just that she has ALWAYS been this was. Everything is focused on her and she wouldnt dream of not going to the boardy barn on sundays and out drinking every night of the weekend, yet she tells me in the convo...' I was thinking what extras in my life I could cut out, and this is one of them even though it *****'
I talked to FH and he agrees we should ask an alternate but now I have to figure out who and a tactful way to approach it. Ugh
I'm not judging YOU, but do you really want to have someone like this in your Bridal Party? Your comments on her and feelings to her are very negative...don't let someone like this ruin something that will be one of the most important thingsi n your life...YOU DESERVE a HECK of a lot better!
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: I cant believe this...long please help
I am sorry.. Money is a tough subject, and everyone needs to do what's right for them. Personally, I would not drop out of a BP because of money. I was a BM in one of my best friends wedding last year, and I had no job for 6 months, and still managed to get my dress. I did not participate in the bachelorette party however because I just couldn't get the money together and they were planning a very expensive night. However I never dreamed of not being there with my friend on her wedding day.
