I can't stand my bridesmaids (sorry I need to vent)

I asked two of my co-workers to be bridesmaids in my wedding. I haven't really known them long( almost 3 years), but I went to both of their weddings (one which was in Key West) and we go out together. I am now beginning to regret my decision to have them be apart of this. Our friendships have changed considerably in the past 6 months or so. I was actually surprised that they went for dresses because I was so waiting for one or both of them to back out. They are really really good friend and have become good friends with another co-worker, who I am 'friends' with too. And now its always the three of them and I'm on the outside. We go out and they talk to each other. Yet if I were to complain they say that it is all in my head and they 'never leave me out'. Also when I talk about the wedding, they act like they don't even want to hear about it. One has gone so far as to say 'what are you going to do when you don;t have a wedding to plan'. It pisses me off because I was so supportive during their engagements that I feel I should get the same respect. I feel like such an idiot because I feel I misjudged a good work friendship for real friends. Since moving to LI it has been so hard to make new friendships and I've lost touch with so many people.Real friends call you on your birthday or even say Happy Birthday (one called the other has yet to even acknowledge that I had one). I don't know what to do. It's too late to drop them, but this is upsetting me. Thanks for listening.

I feel so bad for you Lisa. I know what you mean about co-workers who you thought were friends and then they drop you. I deal with the same thing everyday.

Not sure what to tell you to do, but if you need an ear, we are here. (HA that rhymes)

ETA

It really stinks that you have to go through this...I have some people in my life that have not been that supportive either and make comments like 'what are you going to do when you don't have a wedding to plan?'...Yet its funny that when those people got married, I was totally supportive and happy for them and would never make a comment like that!!! Sometimes there are people who are just unhappy in their own life and can never be happy for anyone else!!! Don't let it get you down!!!

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Posted by angelbear217

I asked two of my co-workers to be bridesmaids in my wedding. I haven't really known them long( almost 3 years), but I went to both of their weddings (one which was in Key West) and we go out together. I am now beginning to regret my decision to have them be apart of this. Our friendships have changed considerably in the past 6 months or so. I was actually surprised that they went for dresses because I was so waiting for one or both of them to back out. They are really really good friend and have become good friends with another co-worker, who I am 'friends' with too. And now its always the three of them and I'm on the outside. We go out and they talk to each other. Yet if I were to complain they say that it is all in my head and they 'never leave me out'. Also when I talk about the wedding, they act like they don't even want to hear about it. One has gone so far as to say 'what are you going to do when you don;t have a wedding to plan'. It pisses me off because I was so supportive during their engagements that I feel I should get the same respect. I feel like such an idiot because I feel I misjudged a good work friendship for real friends. Since moving to LI it has been so hard to make new friendships and I've lost touch with so many people.Real friends call you on your birthday or even say Happy Birthday (one called the other has yet to even acknowledge that I had one). I don't know what to do. It's too late to drop them, but this is upsetting me. Thanks for listening.

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Hmmm...I wonder if one of your BMs is one of mine!! I'm going through the same thing!

So sorry to hear that Lisa! I feel so bad. I had problems with my MoH. She backed out on me completely with no explanation. And this was only 2 -3 weeks ago. I'm getting married 3/13/05. So... She screwed me over. Remember, it's your day. You can ask someone not to be in it , or whatever you want to do. You should be enjoying every moment of this experience! Good luck!

HUGS to you!! I know what you're going through!!!!

Wow that is too bad. It's always tricky when things like this happen. And I think it happens alot when girls ask people to be in their bp & then later on regret it - the sad thing is that friendships & relationships can change so much over a period of months - and you have to ask people enough in advance. I would pull them aside & just flat out say that you are really upset & hurt that you have been feeling left out. Just explain how you asked them to be a part of your special day because you valued their friendship & was there to support their day - now they are making you feel as if your wedding day is going to be a burden on them. I hope it all works out, good luck.

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Posted by Mushpot

So sorry to hear that Lisa! I feel so bad. I had problems with my MoH. She backed out on me completely with no explanation. And this was only 2 -3 weeks ago. I'm getting married 3/13/05. So... She screwed me over. Remember, it's your day. You can ask someone not to be in it , or whatever you want to do. You should be enjoying every moment of this experience! Good luck!

HUGS to you!! I know what you're going through!!!!

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I'm so sorry for both of you! You deserve so much better-- we all do! Please don't let anyone or anything take away from you happiness and such a special time. By the by...I love your 'name' mushpot! Love it!

i'm so sorry!! but we'll be your friends. feel free to vent whenever you need to!!

I had a work friendship that turned into a disaster, so I can totally relate. Be careful.....if you get close to a person from work, and if they are really unethical, they know you well enough to know exactly how to screw you over. I moved on from that job, and even though I was so jaded, I made great friends at my next job.

Anyway, back to your issue........I sympathize with you, but please try not to be too tough on people who forget your birthday or other dates that are important to you. I believe that I am a great friend, yet I keep having trouble keeping track of birthdays and anniversaries unless I am specifically told that there will be a get together for an occassion.