I dont even know where to start..very hurt right now

Original post by stephlovesseyi

Dec 27, 2008 12:44 AM

My MOH, my best friend since HS called me today to tell me that she can no longer be my MOH. She couldnt even give me a real reason. Something about her already being her sisters MOH last year, and our other best friends two years before that, and how she thought the next wedding she was in would be her own, and how she cant take being another moh.

Granted I've been engaged for 2 years, and she has not done anything moh-ish at all. She has not been part of the planning at all. I have not asked her to do anything. I have 2 Maid of Honors and One Matron. THe other Maid of Honor has been super with the planning, the Matron has a baby, so can't be around as much as she would like but has been helpful with other things. I haven't complained about them not being around at all. The only extra thing she would have to do besides the regular bmaids is to make a speech at the wedding. Thats all...

I just dont understand. She called me out of the blue to tell me this. Saying that she has been thinking about it for months and that she will still be a BM.

I was hysterical crying over the phone, she says as her friend I should just understand. I told her as her friend what does she expect me to say. Im supposed to be like oh ok, cool. I would NEVER do something like that to someone. I told her its fine, but as my best friend I still expect her to be by my side and thats all I ever asked. She says she will. FH and my planner are worried that she'll flake out on the entire wedding. FH is PISSED.

Its just so shocking who its comming from. ANY body else, but her? Shes like my sister.

Im just so upset right now. I dont know what to do, what to think... Its making me question our friendship...

Im just so upset. My wedding is in 6 months....

The 08 girls were sooo right when they said you'll learn who your real friends are during this entire process...

its just so sad that it would be my best friend to disappoint me....

I dont even know what to say.

Thanks for listening girls....

flairforfashion Posted: Dec 27, 2008 12:02 PM

Re: I dont even know where to start..very hurt right now

Awww sorry to hear about this hun. She should have told you right off the bat when you initially asked her to be a MOH. It is really true though- you find out who your real friends are- FH and I learned this too. Hang in there though- you have tons of people around you who care and love you and your FH- focus on that.

Brat23 Posted: Dec 27, 2008 12:39 PM

Re: I dont even know where to start..very hurt right now

Wow I am so sorry to hear this. Sounds like she is having a really hard time with the fact that she is not married. I am sure she didn't mean to hurt you and things will eventually work themselves out.

That is terrible and I feel bad that you have to be made to feel this way. Try not to think about it and focus on something else.

With or without her your day is going to be 110% perfect!

MrsDrinkh20 Posted: Dec 27, 2008 12:45 PM

Re: I dont even know where to start..very hurt right now

Im SO sorry Steph...this is such a difficult situation. I would be very hurt. As much as she is clearly having a difficult time with you not being married as your friend she needs to be there to support you regardless. That just goes with the territory. When we first got engaged my cousin (a BM in our wedding) wouldnt talk to me about the wedding, was not excited etc. She eventually confessed that she was jealous and resented that I was getting married first. BUT she also knew that she needed to be there for us and support us and be HAPPY about it. I hope your friend realizes how childish she is being and that she is not doing what a true friend would do. Im so sorry. Hang in there.

coldasice217 Posted: Dec 27, 2008 01:06 PM

Re: I dont even know where to start..very hurt right now

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It really sounds like she's just jealous and bitter. Sometimes, people just can't be happy for you, even though initially they put on the pretense that they are. I truly understand what you're going through, and fear the same thing will happen to me. If you need to vent, we're here for you!

MrsDtoBe09 Posted: Dec 27, 2008 01:06 PM

Re: I dont even know where to start..very hurt right now

Posted by stephlovesseyi

Posted by MrsDtoBe09

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Is she in a serious relationship that she thought she'd be next? I can understand feeling a little sad that it's not you getting married but I'm sure she'll have her day too. At least you have others to fall back on. Hope this situation gets better for you!

She's not even in a relationship. She hasnt dated anyone serious in years..

Oh then that's more than a little strange.

stephlovesseyi Posted: Dec 27, 2008 01:12 PM

Re: I dont even know where to start..very hurt right now

Posted by Utterhappiness

Umm after reading all of the posts and your responses and that homecoming story...I am questioning your friendship also! What the eff... you seem to always be there for her and I feel bad that she does not seem to reciprocate! You deserve more than this.. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this right now it is seriously awful and I am just so sorry.

Im just so confused too. Im tired of being the good friend all the time, when I end up getting screwed in the end. Im just going to pray on it for a while and ask God to help me get through this hurt so that I can eventually forgive.

stephlovesseyi Posted: Dec 27, 2008 01:13 PM

Re: I dont even know where to start..very hurt right now

Posted by flairforfashion

Awww sorry to hear about this hun. She should have told you right off the bat when you initially asked her to be a MOH. It is really true though- you find out who your real friends are- FH and I learned this too. Hang in there though- you have tons of people around you who care and love you and your FH- focus on that.

Your right, thats what is keeping me strong I keep thinking about all the people around who love me. But I can't help but think that as the process goes on who else will screw me over.

Im never this cynical but im just in shock. I can't believe that she would do this.

stephlovesseyi Posted: Dec 27, 2008 01:14 PM

Re: I dont even know where to start..very hurt right now

Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Im SO sorry Steph...this is such a difficult situation. I would be very hurt. As much as she is clearly having a difficult time with you not being married as your friend she needs to be there to support you regardless. That just goes with the territory. When we first got engaged my cousin (a BM in our wedding) wouldnt talk to me about the wedding, was not excited etc. She eventually confessed that she was jealous and resented that I was getting married first. BUT she also knew that she needed to be there for us and support us and be HAPPY about it. I hope your friend realizes how childish she is being and that she is not doing what a true friend would do. Im so sorry. Hang in there.

Thank you Lauren.