I don't have any friends and FH is getting annoying!

fancyface1955 Posted: Jan 30, 2009 08:02 PM

I don't have any friends and FH is getting annoying!

Hi Gals,

I really love my FH, but lately he's been driving me up the wall with the wedding plans. We still have lots to do, but he complains about having to go to the appts. We both work during the week and we only get to see each other on the weekends. Since that is my only free time- thats when i make the appts. I told him i'd be more than happy to do it on my own- but that's when he'll start to feel bad. I can't go with my BM's b/c they live too far away and I don't have any friends to do these things with. We need to decide on a florist-we have another appt tomorrow. We need to decide what we are doing about the invites and the cake, to name a few. Not to mention scheduling the engagement shoot and registering. But he still hasn't choosen HIS GM YET!!!!
So you can see i'm a little frustrated here. And I'm sick of hearin him say 'All this money we're spending on 1 freakin day could go to a payment on a house.'

xosweetiexo Posted: Jan 30, 2009 08:22 PM

Re: I don't have any friends and FH is getting annoying!

Awwww hunny Im sorry you are going through this. I know its hard esp. when you are still choosing major vendors. We used to devote our weekends to this as well. FH would complain- but do it with a smile, bc then I wouldnt complain about him playing xbox when we got home lol!! Remind him that you are not going to have to do this after you choose your major vendors. I didnt want to go see vendors with my friends- I wanted to go with FH so that he could have a say in whatever we picked. He still has time to pick his GM- but should decide sometime soon.

hogie2be Posted: Jan 30, 2009 08:35 PM

Re: I don't have any friends and FH is getting annoying!

Do you talk up and get excited about going? try asking him what he is looking for and throw out silly ideas and try to have fun with it instead of being very official which sounds like a chore to the guys... my FH was engaged once before (broken off prior to the wedding) so he was a little reluctant but when I was excited it became contagious good luck!

coldasice217 Posted: Jan 30, 2009 08:55 PM

Re: I don't have any friends and FH is getting annoying!

I'm sorry...it sounds like your FH is like mine. What I've found to work is to kind of get passive/aggressive and make it seem like it's a manly job to pick certain things...limos, dj, hm (don't know if you already have these though). If he feels emasculated for not being decision maker, he'll change his tune.

fancyface1955 Posted: Jan 30, 2009 09:25 PM

Re: I don't have any friends and FH is getting annoying!

Posted by hogie2be

Do you talk up and get excited about going? try asking him what he is looking for and throw out silly ideas and try to have fun with it instead of being very official which sounds like a chore to the guys... my FH was engaged once before (broken off prior to the wedding) so he was a little reluctant but when I was excited it became contagious good luck!

I'm always excited about goin- to me it's fun. to him it's a chore. Don't even get me started on the upcomming pre-cana!! He knows it all needs to get done but I just feel that he's lazy about it and doesn't want to have to deal with decission making. I thought hit a plus when i talked about making an appt for the cake tasting. What guy wouldn't like that????
Mine just wants to relax on the couch all weekend watching cartoons!!!!

EmiNoa628 Posted: Jan 30, 2009 11:46 PM

Re: I don't have any friends and FH is getting annoying!

Sorry you are going through this.. I feel the same way when it comes to doing wedding stuff with friends.. I have NON here in ATL.. I have co-workers and FH cousins but I don't speak with them all the time so I don't want to bother.. Then I have just 2 co-workers that are always busy but don't want to ask either.. PLUS my wedding is in NY and I would rather be over there doing things..

BCM2009 Posted: Jan 31, 2009 01:44 PM

Re: I don't have any friends and FH is getting annoying!

I'd try to do some stuff without him. When we started I asked FH the stuff he cared about and I included him in all of those decisions. He said he did not care at all about invitations, florist or registry so I did all of that on my own. He asked if I felt upset that I was doing some stuff alone and I assured him (honestly) that I just wanted all of this stuff taken care of and I was happy to do it all.

He did care about reception hall, band and honeymoon so I made sure to do all of that with him... i think he still feels part of it without being overwhelmed.

wundmoretime Posted: Jan 31, 2009 05:58 PM

Re: I don't have any friends and FH is getting annoying!

sorry you are going through this. DH wanted the big wedding and was very involved. He at times felt I was doing too much but didn't complain about goingto appmts. I am not sure what to say. I wrote an iteranny of appmts we had, dates and times. I set it up after work during the week or after his work on the weekends. DH still had his weekend to be left alone, for the most part. Maybe jot dates on a calendar and let him decide which to go to, even if you have to go alone to some of the things. Tell him he can't complain about a decision then if he choses not to go.