My FH went to a strip club after he had a business 'dinner' with his partners and some other people. I freaked out. Not only beacuse he went to one of those scheevy places, but because he wouldn't answer his phone and didn't even tell me until he was on his way home that that's where he went. I mean I told him that I can't deal, and maybe we should call the whole thing off. Did I make a big deal? I got like no sleep last night and I'm not sure he understands why i'm upset. YUCK.
Beth1210
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
I wouldn't have a problem with the strip club- it would be the not telling me or answering the phone
but I am think I know his thinking b/c this would have been mine husbands thinking- if I called you- you would have freaked out- and then we would have gotten into a fight and I would have been embarssed in front of businnes assocaites-
Zistina
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
You're good. That's what he said.
BJandDan
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
I think it was wrong of him to not answer the phone. I think there was a lot more to the conversation than you saying you want to call the whole thing off. I think you need to sit down like adults and talk it out. Wait a little while to calm down though. You don't want to go in with claws out and make him more defensive.
MrsC2b
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
i think he should of at least picked up the phone and let u know ... not pick up the phone after u have probably called him like 100 times... that probably made things even worse
CLMon7906
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
Posted by Beth1210
I wouldn't have a problem with the strip club- it would be the not telling me or answering the phone
but I am think I know his thinking b/c this would have been mine husbands thinking- if I called you- you would have freaked out- and then we would have gotten into a fight and I would have been embarssed in front of businnes assocaites-
i kind of agree...it's the not knowing/answering the phone...but not enough to call off the wedding...i mean, he fessed up to it...it's not like you found the charge on the credit card bill...that would bother me way more.
FallBride05
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
Posted by Beth1210
I wouldn't have a problem with the strip club- it would be the not telling me or answering the phone
but I am think I know his thinking b/c this would have been mine husbands thinking- if I called you- you would have freaked out- and then we would have gotten into a fight and I would have been embarssed in front of businnes assocaites-
I agree
vinnysgrl
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
i would have been pissed but thats me......the not picking up is irresponsible too and inconsiderate.......
Blu-ize
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
I agree about the strip club being questionable but it would piss me off about not calling..
that above all else drives me nuts.
It happened last night to me! I let him have it!!!!
Beth1210
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
Posted by Zistina
You're good. That's what he said.
I've been there-
I try to turn it around- like how would you feel if I did that to YOU?
that normally works
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
He went to a strip club with business associates? That sounds weird to me - not a very 'businessy' thing to do.... Anyway, yes it would bother me, but not a reason to call of the wedding. If it became a regular thing, that would be a different story.
MJDoc12
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
He went to a strip club with business associates? That sounds weird to me - not a very 'businessy' thing to do.... Anyway, yes it would bother me, but not a reason to call of the wedding. If it became a regular thing, that would be a different story.
My friend's husband works for a mortage company and he does big deals with guys--and i swear there are SOOOOO many times that they people they are closing deals for, after a nice dinner, say that they want to head out to the strip club, drink some champagne and see some boobies. so i could see how this happened.
i also would be mad that he didn't call---so yes you have a right to be mad. but to call it all off? i think you may have just been overreacting at that moment. (unless there's other things that you're not saying) we say things in anger that can be quite harsh!
Beth1210
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
He went to a strip club with business associates? That sounds weird to me - not a very 'businessy' thing to do.... Anyway, yes it would bother me, but not a reason to call of the wedding. If it became a regular thing, that would be a different story.
my freind- a girl works in the construction business- and they have all these fancey dinners- then go to strip clubs after
I think it happens all the time- it depends on the industry
Maybride519
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
Posted by Beth1210
Posted by Zistina
You're good. That's what he said.
I've been there-
I try to turn it around- like how would you feel if I did that to YOU?
that normally works
Those are magical words! Lol. I would do the same.
clarity
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
Posted by MJDoc12
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
He went to a strip club with business associates? That sounds weird to me - not a very 'businessy' thing to do.... Anyway, yes it would bother me, but not a reason to call of the wedding. If it became a regular thing, that would be a different story.
My friend's husband works for a mortage company and he does big deals with guys--and i swear there are SOOOOO many times that they people they are closing deals for, after a nice dinner, say that they want to head out to the strip club, drink some champagne and see some boobies. so i could see how this happened.
i also would be mad that he didn't call---so yes you have a right to be mad. but to call it all off? i think you may have just been overreacting at that moment. (unless there's other things that you're not saying) we say things in anger that can be quite harsh!
Ya, I totally agree with this. The strip club thing doesnt botehr me, but i would be mad that he didnt call too! but in anger sometimes people say too much. just talk it out and explain how you felt about the not picking up phone thing.
ali120206
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
I hate the not calling/not answering thing! It drives me so angry. My FH has gotten better about it but still does occasionally.
They think a lot differently than we do, their logic is a little off!
Beth1210
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
Posted by ali120206
I hate the not calling/not answering thing! It drives me so angry. My FH has gotten better about it but still does occasionally.
They think a lot differently than we do, their logic is a little off!
absolutley- they just think about what is easier for them at the time- not in the long run
they are boys- they need help
stephanief
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
Posted by Zistina
My FH went to a strip club after he had a business 'dinner' with his partners and some other people. I freaked out. Not only beacuse he went to one of those scheevy places, but because he wouldn't answer his phone and didn't even tell me until he was on his way home that that's where he went. I mean I told him that I can't deal, and maybe we should call the whole thing off. Did I make a big deal? I got like no sleep last night and I'm not sure he understands why i'm upset. YUCK.
To call the whole thing off is a bit extreme IMHO. You need to sit down and explain why you are upset. Hopefully, he will listen
rlgirl
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
who knows, maybe he didnt hear it? we women (at least some of us) has got to stop being so quick to jump to conclusions. i know when i go out to have a good time i usually turn my phone off because i dont need to have my fh calling every minute just to nag. i go out to have a good time,not to hear that mess. at least he was honest and told you where he was.talk to him since it is bothering you.
October Bliss
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Re: I don't know if I freaked out too much last night
What is it exactly that you can't deal with?
1. the fact that he didn't answer the phone? 2. the fact that you didn't know he wasn't coming home right after work (or after dinner as the case may be)? 3. the fact that he went to a strip club? 4. the fact that he didn't tell you before he went to the strip club? 5. all of the above?
I agree with what Beth said about why he didn't tell you in advance. There isn't a single guy I have ever known that would make a phone call knowing it would lead to an argument and possible embarrasment in front of friends or business associates.
You are obviously bothered by the simple fact that he went to the stip club. The question is why? Don't you trust him? If not, why not? If it's not a question of trust, then what difference does it make if he does something to further his career and take care of business associates?
IMO, threatening to call off the wedding for going to a strip club is extreme, but the fact that it came out of your mouth suggests that there is more going on here. I hope the two of you can discuss it calmly and rationally and work it all out. Good luck!
