I don't know if I freaked out too much last night

Honey, I would have reacted the same way as you. That was totally disrespectful of him, from the strip club to the not calling. You'll work though this

Actually, I don't even understand why going to strip clubs in the first place as a 'reward' for business deals.

my fh did the same thing to me last year, about a month after we had gotten engaged....

he basically went to a strip club with his friend but never told me about it, i found out weeks later when someone else told me; he said he lied cuz i would be mad....blah blah blah....
i flipped out on him... gave him hell for a week, called off the wedding, etc. I was really upset about the strip club cuz i dont really like them and i thought it was weird that he was going out to strip clubs right after we had gotten engaged and i was still in the whole lovey dovey on cloud nine faze, while he was looking at other girls naked. also i was upset about him lying about it.... so i really freaked out on him... i let his friend have it too. i made my point heard... i figured the least i could do was make him feel just as bad as i was feeling

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Posted by DrBeLLaRoSe

my fh did the same thing to me last year, about a month after we had gotten engaged....

he basically went to a strip club with his friend but never told me about it, i found out weeks later when someone else told me; he said he lied cuz i would be mad....blah blah blah....
i flipped out on him... gave him hell for a week, called off the wedding, etc. I was really upset about the strip club cuz i dont really like them and i thought it was weird that he was going out to strip clubs right after we had gotten engaged and i was still in the whole lovey dovey on cloud nine faze, while he was looking at other girls naked. also i was upset about him lying about it.... so i really freaked out on him... i let his friend have it too. i made my point heard... i figured the least i could do was make him feel just as bad as i was feeling

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OMG, I would have freaked too !! At least he knows never to do that again, and his friend too LOL


The thing that would bother me is him not answering the phone. I get crazy over stuff like that, like I would keep calling and calling, and my voicemails would get nastier and nastier!!! You have to get your point across to you FH so he doesn't do that again, but I don't think you should call off the wedding for that. It is a problem that can definitely be solved!

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Posted by FallBride05

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Posted by Beth1210

I wouldn't have a problem with the strip club- it would be the not telling me or answering the phone

but I am think I know his thinking b/c this would have been mine husbands thinking- if I called you- you would have freaked out- and then we would have gotten into a fight and I would have been embarssed in front of businnes assocaites-

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I agree

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Me too...

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Posted by Zistina

My FH went to a strip club after he had a business 'dinner' with his partners and some other people. I freaked out. Not only beacuse he went to one of those scheevy places, but because he wouldn't answer his phone and didn't even tell me until he was on his way home that that's where he went. I mean I told him that I can't deal, and maybe we should call the whole thing off. Did I make a big deal? I got like no sleep last night and I'm not sure he understands why i'm upset. YUCK.

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i would not freak out.. and he was with business people.. i know when i am at a work thing i really dont call.. i will call and say i am going out for work and then i will call you later.

its annoying he did not answer but, next time wait until the next morning and calmly say..do me a favor out of respect and common curteousy please call me back .. you would not like it if that was me.. and say you understand when he is at a work thing its hard.,but just take 2 seconds to go to the bathroom and say i am still out with work people i will see you when i get home..and that wll make you happy..as you would do the same for him.

dont call the wedding off over something that silly.

strip clubs are dumb its just a goof.. go with your FH one time and see for yourself.

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

He went to a strip club with business associates? That sounds weird to me - not a very 'businessy' thing to do....
Anyway, yes it would bother me, but not a reason to call of the wedding. If it became a regular thing, that would be a different story.

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people in corporate go to strip clubs for business all the time.. i dont know what it is but they do..its harmless.

I have even gone.. especially when it was clients that were from out of town..my boss really did not want to go..its cheesey ..but for some reason it was always the tech dorcks that wanted to go and then they always bought more product the next day

just as an update I'm still pissed but my FH and I talked and he hopefully learned his lesson about not calling. I still think what he did makes him a big idiot regardless, but i can't let whatever great things between us be gone b/c of this. He tells me he might have to be dragged out to one again because of DORKY GROSS business people making deals. SO STRANGE AND STUPID. I'm in education and I can't quite grasp that whole thing.

As far as how I feel about boobie bars, still YUCK YUCK YUCK. IT's not the stripper's fault necessarily that they can't use their brain to make a buck but have to use their body. They're just shaming themselves. It's the dumb boys that keep these places in business. YUCK!

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Posted by Zistina

IT's not the stripper's fault necessarily that they can't use their brain to make a buck but have to use their body. They're just shaming themselves. It's the dumb boys that keep these places in business. YUCK!

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I'm going to comment on this, because IMO, it's not the correct assumption to make. One of my friends (also a lawyer) had a stripper come into his office a few weeks ago looking for a divorce. Turns out, she took the $$$ she made and invested it - wisely. She owned at least 3 different houses, had a 401K that was valued over 1 million, and stocks worth at least that much.

Just because a woman is a stripper, doesn't mean she doesn't have brains.

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

He went to a strip club with business associates? That sounds weird to me - not a very 'businessy' thing to do....
Anyway, yes it would bother me, but not a reason to call of the wedding. If it became a regular thing, that would be a different story.

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You know, I was thinking the same thing! That does not seem very, for a lack of a better word, professional. 'Let's talk about those contracts over a lap dance' just does not seem like a good business ethic to me. Honestly, I would be upset too...not enough to call everything off though. You were upset though, so maybe have a sit down discussion after you have calmed down. Some people, myself included, have real issues w/ those types of places. This is something that you need to express to FH if that's the case.

ETA: if he did not tell you before hand that he was going because he knew you would be upset, wouldn't that have been reason enough NOT to go? He obviously knew he was going to do something you were not comfortable with.

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Posted by October Bliss

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Posted by Zistina

IT's not the stripper's fault necessarily that they can't use their brain to make a buck but have to use their body. They're just shaming themselves. It's the dumb boys that keep these places in business. YUCK!

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I'm going to comment on this, because IMO, it's not the correct assumption to make. One of my friends (also a lawyer) had a stripper come into his office a few weeks ago looking for a divorce. Turns out, she took the $$$ she made and invested it - wisely. She owned at least 3 different houses, had a 401K that was valued over 1 million, and stocks worth at least that much.

Just because a woman is a stripper, doesn't mean she doesn't have brains.

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TOTALLY agree. I know somoeone who graudtaed early from highschool and college with a double masters, all while stripping

As for my opinion if you freaked out a litte much.. yes. But then again I could care less if FH goes to strip clubs....its not a big deal to me. His friend arent really the type to do that all the time, but if he wants to go for his BP I told him to go ahead and have a beer on me.