He's just not dependable. Tomorrow's the first time I have to make Thanksgiving dinner for his family, and I kept saying to please be home early today to help me with preparing things and cleaning the apartment. And he went to the bar with his friends/co-workers after work and only came home around 7:30 at which time all my slaving was nearly over b/c I left work at 3:30 which is when he gets out of work. Now we were fighting, and we only started talking around 9. He already went to bed at 10 b/c he said he didn't feel well, and I really wanted to spend time with him tonight, yet he was fine enough to go out with his friends, drinking. I'm just upset that it was really important that he help me out, and he kept saying a hundred times he would, and he wouldn't. I just don't want to be with someone I can't depend on, and I don't know what to do.
kaangel217
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Re: I Don't Know If I Want to Marry My Fiance Anymore
I also agree with all the other girls. You really need to talk to him about this. You should cool down a bit and try to talk to him.
aliciahelene
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Re: I Don't Know If I Want to Marry My Fiance Anymore
You have some tough decisions to make. I broke off my engagement a few months back, only to get reengaged a month later. I needed a break from wedding planning, it was freaking me out. Is is possible you guys needa break? Weddings are so stressful, especially if money is an issue, that adds on EXTRA stress. Definately talk with him, share your concerns with him, you cant change him, but he can develop alittle more respect for you and your needs.I hope you are ok!!!!! Fm me if ya need anything!!!!
jenny2penny
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Re: I Don't Know If I Want to Marry My Fiance Anymore
Posted by violet
Thanks, I guess I will wait till tomorrow to talk to him. It's just sometimes he really makes me mad. He's 25, and he goes out to the bar with his friends like at least twice a week. I feel like that's so immature.
You are right it's immature. I thank god my FH & I just started dateing when he was 25,,,we never would have lasted at that time. He too was always going out (ok I was too but I was only 22) But that is what some do at that age, go out party, be with friends. Are you ok with that, because if he still wants to, you can't change him.
you have to talk to him and make sure you are both on the same page with the relationship, marriage and 'adult' responsibilities. Good luck!
violet
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Re: I Don't Know If I Want to Marry My Fiance Anymore
Well, thanks for everyone's advice. This definitely isn't due to stress from wedding planning b/c he doesn't do anything regarding planning. I just told him yesterday that I really need to think b/c some things he does just bothers me, and he was just like no, don't say that, we belong together or something along those lines. I know I'm not perfect either, but some things just get on my nerves.
And then I was mad b/c sometimes I don't feel included in his life. He asks his brother in front of me to hang out like on a day in December for a celebration of someone's graduation. And I'm sure it's not only a guys' thing. And I was like geez, you invite your brother to things, but not me. And he was like well you can go too. It just makes me mad.
kdelace
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Re: I Don't Know If I Want to Marry My Fiance Anymore
relax. you need to talk to him... believe me some guys just like the best of both worlds.. they love to go out with their friends and live that life and they love the life they have with you. my fiance and i went through this and we are both 30...
I had to explain to him that I dont mind you going out with the guys but not to make this a ongoing habit.
i know its tough- hes 25 and hes probably trying to live both worlds. The most important thing to do is talk and communicate. Its not easy and it takes work but if you truly love him and vice versa things will work out.
Good luck!
MrsTC
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Re: I Don't Know If I Want to Marry My Fiance Anymore
I agree with the girls - but I just wanted to add, maybe he does not yet realize that in marriage you are a TEAM - and the fiancee / wife cannot do all the work...how was he raised? Did his mom do all the work? Some men just need a wake up call. Hope you feel better and definitely talk to him. Don't cry or yell etc, just discuss it. Seriously, sometimes they don't even realize!
