I dont know what to do
Thank you (you know who you are)
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I dont know what to do
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Re: I dont know what to do
Was he this way before you got engaged? How close are you to the wedding- if you are close, did this recently happen, or was he like this all through the engagement.
Did something happen that would make him depressed?
I know that DH and I fought a lot in the months leading up to the wedding - about really stupid stuff. I knew that it was the stress of the wedding though.
Have you talked to him about it and told him your concerns? Its hard to answer your questions without some info. I think that doubts are very normal - but if he is generally not a happy person, and this brings you down - then that is someone you wouldn't want to spend the rest of your life with. But if its purely wedding-related, thats a whole other story!
Did something happen that would make him depressed?
I know that DH and I fought a lot in the months leading up to the wedding - about really stupid stuff. I knew that it was the stress of the wedding though.
Have you talked to him about it and told him your concerns? Its hard to answer your questions without some info. I think that doubts are very normal - but if he is generally not a happy person, and this brings you down - then that is someone you wouldn't want to spend the rest of your life with. But if its purely wedding-related, thats a whole other story!
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Re: I dont know what to do
The wedding is in about 3 months. I know that he has had a difficult life but things changed when we were together. it was like we found something in each other we were convinced did not exist out there. I thought we felt the same way, like we finally found our happiness. He was never this happy go lucky guy but when we were together it was different. Now I guess he is used to me and we are doing grown up, real life things, and he can't just relax and enjoy anything, including me. I don't know that it's 'wedding related', I think it's just depression, that he should be medicated for, which he agrees with but refuses to go talk to someone.
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Re: I dont know what to do
i'm sorry you are feeling this way. i think you need to look deep into your heart and only you can decide if this is right for you. maybe you can sit down and have a heart to heart with him over a nice dinner and explain to him how you are feeling and your fears. Reassure him that you love him and want to make him happy but feel you are not. I hope this helps?
As for enthusiasm, my FH does not show much enthusiasm re the wedding but he is just a guy that way, at first, i was a little upset but not anymore. When i ask him how many days etc... he knows but only shows enthusiasm when prompted...
As for enthusiasm, my FH does not show much enthusiasm re the wedding but he is just a guy that way, at first, i was a little upset but not anymore. When i ask him how many days etc... he knows but only shows enthusiasm when prompted...
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Re: I dont know what to do
Posted by doubts906
The wedding is in about 3 months. I know that he has had a difficult life but things changed when we were together. it was like we found something in each other we were convinced did not exist out there. I thought we felt the same way, like we finally found our happiness. He was never this happy go lucky guy but when we were together it was different. Now I guess he is used to me and we are doing grown up, real life things, and he can't just relax and enjoy anything, including me. I don't know that it's 'wedding related', I think it's just depression, that he should be medicated for, which he agrees with but refuses to go talk to someone.
If he agrees with you about needing to see a doctor, then why doesn't he? I think you should really sit down and have a heart to heart and tell him your concerns. Tell him about what you are feeling and that you want him to be happy. Can you get any of his friends or family members involved in helping him?
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Re: I dont know what to do
Those are my questions too, how much time you had together before you decided to get married. Also age. Because I know my husband is not the same person he was 7 years ago in our mid-20's when I met him.
You need to be sure before you do it. Divorce is so much worse and is a horrible thing to depend on if you're not happy now. (I'm not saying you are, I'm saying my friends used it as a back-up plan)
My husband was also prone to depression and pessimism when we met. We actually found out he had a thyroid condition and once he went on medication, he felt better about it. But it was more than that; he was dissatisfied with his life. So we talked about it numerous times, figured out what he wasn't happy with, and formed a plan to change it.
What it comes down to is, you must be prepared to accept him the way that he is without the plan of changing him down the road. Because he may not change. This may not be a phase. But how will you know? You won't. But you can talk it out and work on a compromise. That's what you must do in a relationship that you're planning on having for the rest of your lives - work it out.
I wish you the best of luck. Sending hugs your way.![]()
You need to be sure before you do it. Divorce is so much worse and is a horrible thing to depend on if you're not happy now. (I'm not saying you are, I'm saying my friends used it as a back-up plan)
My husband was also prone to depression and pessimism when we met. We actually found out he had a thyroid condition and once he went on medication, he felt better about it. But it was more than that; he was dissatisfied with his life. So we talked about it numerous times, figured out what he wasn't happy with, and formed a plan to change it.
What it comes down to is, you must be prepared to accept him the way that he is without the plan of changing him down the road. Because he may not change. This may not be a phase. But how will you know? You won't. But you can talk it out and work on a compromise. That's what you must do in a relationship that you're planning on having for the rest of your lives - work it out.
I wish you the best of luck. Sending hugs your way.
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Re: I dont know what to do
I belive that your FH may just be stressed out and nervous. Me and FH fought every day for a couple of months while planning our wedding. I was like your FH, fighting about nothing and picking on my FH all the time because I was really nervous and scared. I almost called off the wedding the day before!!
I think that sometimes men don't show enthusiasm until the day of the wedding, at least that was the case in my situation. My Husband didnt have any enthusiasm during planning, but the day of the wedding he was so excited and happy.
But trust me when it's over you both will go back to being a happy in love couple!! Focus on the good things and try not to make a mountain out of a molehill. He asked you to marry him and I dont think that people do that without being sure about the committment they are making. So he does love you and want to spend the rest of his life with you!
I think that sometimes men don't show enthusiasm until the day of the wedding, at least that was the case in my situation. My Husband didnt have any enthusiasm during planning, but the day of the wedding he was so excited and happy.
But trust me when it's over you both will go back to being a happy in love couple!! Focus on the good things and try not to make a mountain out of a molehill. He asked you to marry him and I dont think that people do that without being sure about the committment they are making. So he does love you and want to spend the rest of his life with you!
