I dont know what to do.

bettybcafe Posted: Oct 15, 2006 01:04 AM

I dont know what to do.

I was counting on my FH's little cousin to be our flower girl but her mother says that she is too young to behave herself as a FG. The reason why she said that was because she was recently in a wedding and she didnt behave..I believer she is about 5yrs old...should I still go with her hoping she grows up within the year? The prob is that I dont have any other young girls in my family

JeanineP2B Posted: Oct 15, 2006 01:50 AM

Re: I dont know what to do.

Was the little girl around when her mother said that to you? Maybe she just wanted to 'scare' her daughter a little to show her that if she doesn't behave, she'll have less priviledges... just a thought.

I think a year will make a HUGE difference! Behavioral changes and growth doesn't take THAT long in kids that age. By 6, I would hope that she'd be well behaved (enough to be apart of your wedding(.

Good luck with that... just talk to her mom again in a couple months. In the meantime... keep your eye out for other 'potential FGs'

jessandjimiswedding Posted: Oct 15, 2006 02:40 AM

Re: I dont know what to do.

my niece is gonna be 4. she'll be a big girl by then.

JIFFY Posted: Oct 15, 2006 10:02 AM

Re: I dont know what to do.

You know what? Go for it! I have my two nieces as FG. In 6 months one will be 3 and the other almost 4. If they don't behave, they don't behave. Oh well! It will look cute on the video.

I remember when I was 5 and my brother was 4. We were the FG and RB for my cousins wedding. When it was everyones turn to dance with the B&G he said no so and completely refused...so I slapped him, open handed, right across the face.
(By the way, I got punished)

Kids are kids. Yes, we all want our weddings to be picture perfect but I also want a relaxed, fun atmosphere.

ef922 Posted: Oct 15, 2006 10:34 AM

Re: I dont know what to do.

I think you should have her if you really want her. It's the cutest thing when they are nervous to walk down or need help from their 'rents...She'll be fine!!!

MnM52607 Posted: Oct 15, 2006 10:40 AM

Re: I dont know what to do.

I think she could definitely grow up in a year. I think she will be fine.

jennd311 Posted: Oct 15, 2006 10:45 AM

Re: I dont know what to do.

I think she'll be fine in a year. I am worried about my RB .. he will be 4 and he is tough now ..

if you want her, then have her. good luck!

sami Posted: Oct 15, 2006 10:56 AM

Re: I dont know what to do.

She will be fine

Shmar Posted: Oct 15, 2006 11:06 AM

Re: I dont know what to do.

awwww..... i think you should wait it out. MY FG and RB are twins and they will only be 2 and a half for our wedding. You should definitely talk to her mom and see if she can still try to be the FG. It would be a shame not to have her in your wedding, but it would be fine if you didn't have a FG.

Snowflake08 Posted: Oct 15, 2006 11:20 AM

Re: I dont know what to do.

IMO - As an educator for over a decade, children rise to our expectations of them. If we believe they can do something, they will try and they will feel confident. If we set them up for failure with negativity, those are the exact results we will get.

I think a 5 year old should definitley be ready and have talks with her about her responsibilities.

Good Luck!!

donegal419 Posted: Oct 15, 2006 12:49 PM

Re: I dont know what to do.

A 5 year old is definitely ready to be a flower girl.... but perhaps mom said this because she doesn't want the hassle? if you think about it, when you ask a child to be in the wedding, you're really asking the parents because they are the ones that have to buy the outfit, get the hair done, be at the rehearsal, etc. etc. i would talk to mom about it and see what she wants. if she is OK with it, tell her that the fact that she didnt' 'behave' at the last wedding is not an issue for you. i am sure she'll be fine at your wedding!

happygirl07 Posted: Oct 15, 2006 03:40 PM

Re: I dont know what to do.

I would include her. At 5 yrs old, kids will be kids, but they're OK. Her misbehaving at a prior wedding doesn't mean it will occur in yours. Also, if you knew she was uncontrollable, I don't believe you would have had her in mind. Go with your gutt instinct.

snydl40 Posted: Oct 15, 2006 03:42 PM

Re: I dont know what to do.

I would keep her in mind-she still has another year to grow up a little.

betani Posted: Oct 15, 2006 06:04 PM

Re: I dont know what to do.

Posted by beeinsilly

IMO - As an educator for over a decade, children rise to our expectations of them. If we believe they can do something, they will try and they will feel confident. If we set them up for failure with negativity, those are the exact results we will get.

I think a 5 year old should definitley be ready and have talks with her about her responsibilities.

Good Luck!!

ditto. she's old enought to know what's expected of her. i think if you sat down with her and had a talk about how special the day is and that you want her to be there and she has special things she has to do, she'll be fine. she'll feel much more included and like she's getting something out of it - she'll be a 'big kid.' you know?