I don't know what to do anymore

I am so sick of all this wedding drama. So I find out last night that my sister and one of my BM have been talking **** about me and saying how I am a Bit(h and been nasty to them and everything. Meanwhile I have been nothing but nice to both of them. My sister is just a very jealous person and is trying to ruin everythign for me and make me miserable. So I find out that they are doing this and in the mean time FH's mom calls him and is crying cause we told her she couldn't invite a total stranger to OUR wedding....Yes a stranger....She dosen't know this person. It's a friend of one of his uncles. And she feels bad for him and wants him to come to our wedding. Hello MY parents are paying for this. They don't need extra people. Were already WAY over. I don't know what to do anymore. I am hysterical crying at work and I just can't function anymore. It's like my whole world is just crumbiling.

I have been where you are.

I went through this about a year ago with my sister and some family members.

It took us months to speak on good terms.

i canonly tell you that I know exactly how you are feeling and you are wondering, I will bet what you did to deserve this. The answer is nothing.

It would be a lot easier for you if people could be more uplifting and considerate. I know that it is hard for you to realize that this is a transition for your family and friends as well. You have every right to want to be considered first, and to not have to deal with their drama.

You will proibably just have to seperate yourself from them and breakcontact for a while. Give yourself some time to know you are ok, this marriage is what you want, and that they have to deal with their own anxeity and frustration on their own time.

It will get better if you back out. I promise.

I wish you lots of luck!

I know it dosent seem like good advice now but I wish I had listend the numerous times I got it ...Its YOUR wedding ( you and FH ) it is about YOU guys and YOUR love...people can be horrible during the wedding planning process and then after too....adn Jelousy is a horrible thing that makes people behave very differently then who they are....Keep your chin up and rember at the end of all this you will be married to the man you love . Nothing can change that....hold your ground on the things that are important to you...if you have to be a biitch and there is no way around it then do so.

Sorry to hear you need to relax and take a breather things are very heated and stressful right now but you have to be stronger to work through it- don't let the little things get to you so much tune them out and move on- people can be very difficult and challenging especially at this time as hard as it may be I learned to try not sweating the small stuff- tonight just hang with FH and take a complete break from all of this stuff- do not take anyone calls just take a mental break from it all- it will get better

Awww your world is not crumbing! Take some breaths and relax....let's put this into perspective....

Me and FH have dealt with ALOT of drama and BS and unfortunately, people are very selfish and this is such a special time for you...don't cry and let it be ruined over inconsiderate people. Just remember that you and FH are starting your own family and circle and all of these outside issues just aren't that important. I hate to sound cold but it's true. Yea maybe your Sister and MOH are talking about you but blow it off. Your MIL may be crying but that's her problem and this is your wedding. Make it what you want it to be and not what everyone else is telling you it should be. They have all had or will have their own time, this is YOUR time. Cheer up!! I 100% know how you feel right now and looking back, it is so not worth it.

awww

it suc**S that people who you would expect the be the happiest for you turn around and just act the exact opposite.. but the way I see it, through all of this, I was able to see some people for who they really are.. don't hold any grudges, but let it slide.. when people act up, they assume that nobody else will notice it, but reality is that everyone does..

and the whole guest list drama, I've just decided to let things be.. a lot of people will RSVP no, so if it will make your FMIL happy, let it be because it's so not worth it.. feel better..

I'm so sorry to hear you're going thru this!!! I have been having some BM drama, myself lately, and I told everyone that even after the wedding is over, I don't want to hear a word of it! If they all hate each other, GREAT! Don't involve me. That's really crappy that you found out - did your sis tell you, or did you find out thru an email or something?

This day is about you and FH and your love for each other and that is all that matters! Its much easier said than done to just 'try not to let it bother you.' I know, trust me - Xanax has been my best friend lately LOL.

Anyway, we're all here if you need to talk and vent it out!!

i caved on some guest list issues too, and I'm still kicking myself for it. It's the only fight FH and I have gotten into over something wedding related, and I did it to keep the peace with some family members.

I will however throw it in their faces FOREVER. I really resent that my parents bullied me into inviting people I don't want, because me and FH are paying and wanted to keep it small.

If you can, stand your ground on that. Who wants a perfect stranger at your wedding??

As for your sister, did you confront her on that? Are you guys not close? I can say my sisters would never do that to me, but if they did I would totally call them out on it. That's the kind of relationship we have.

I hope things get better. Take a deep breath and thing in the end the drama will be so unimportant.

awwwwwww I am SO sorry FIRST tell people to stop telling you things, i mean it hurts that it is being done regardless but still better off that you don't know. Some people are very self-centered and when they have to do anything for others all they do is complain and B*TCH. Isn't your sister also getting married?

And as far as your FMIL, tell your FH to get over it. The fact that she will call crying and complaining about a stranger is pathetic. Your wedding is not a bbq where anybody can just come, and for her to act like that bc a friend of his uncle wants to come that neither you or his mom knows is a bit dramatic and tell your FH that she needs to calm down and that you two have enough to worry about and dont need to deal with this stupid BS. She is an adult not a child, and should understand that you two are already over and deal with the facts

it seems like your having a bad month... dont expect anyone to be happy for you.. I learned that through my planning. no ones ever going to be as happy and caring for your wedding.. not even your sister or your mother.. i'm having issues with my sister as well but I'm trying not to let it get to me.. dont let it get to you their just jealous.. i wish I had more word of advice... sorry your going through this with your inlaw, sister and your BM.. you need someone to talk to.. vent/cry you will feel soo much better.. and maybe you should just let your MIL invite that 1 person.. if you dont let her bring that person I think she will never forget it and she will just be cold to you for a very long time... in this situation i would just be like(to FH) 'whatever if shes going to cry about it then tell her to f*cking bring her stranger FRIEND to my wedding'

meanwhile you need lots of hugs...

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Posted by snwb08

i caved on some guest list issues too, and I'm still kicking myself for it. It's the only fight FH and I have gotten into over something wedding related, and I did it to keep the peace with some family members.

I will however throw it in their faces FOREVER. I really resent that my parents bullied me into inviting people I don't want, because me and FH are paying and wanted to keep it small.

If you can, stand your ground on that. Who wants a perfect stranger at your wedding??

As for your sister, did you confront her on that? Are you guys not close? I can say my sisters would never do that to me, but if they did I would totally call them out on it. That's the kind of relationship we have.

I hope things get better. Take a deep breath and thing in the end the drama will be so unimportant.

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We used to be very close then she got engaged right after we did and everything changed. they had to book there wedidng 2 months after ours and everything got outta hand and things changed.

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Posted by Espo22

awwwwwww I am SO sorry FIRST tell people to stop telling you things, i mean it hurts that it is being done regardless but still better off that you don't know. Some people are very self-centered and when they have to do anything for others all they do is complain and B*TCH. Isn't your sister also getting married?

And as far as your FMIL, tell your FH to get over it. The fact that she will call crying and complaining about a stranger is pathetic. Your wedding is not a bbq where anybody can just come, and for her to act like that bc a friend of his uncle wants to come that neither you or his mom knows is a bit dramatic and tell your FH that she needs to calm down and that you two have enough to worry about and dont need to deal with this stupid BS. She is an adult not a child, and should understand that you two are already over and deal with the facts

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yes she is getting married 2 months after us. And I like how My MB said that Now I can do things my way...She actually gave me permission to plan my weding my way now.... And she said she was extramly stresses out over this wedding planning and all.. all she has had to do was go get her dress and shoes. And she didn't even pick out the dress I did!!! I cna't believe her!!!

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Posted by hannahshim

it seems like your having a bad month... dont expect anyone to be happy for you.. I learned that through my planning. no ones ever going to be as happy and caring for your wedding.. not even your sister or your mother.. i'm having issues with my sister as well but I'm trying not to let it get to me.. dont let it get to you their just jealous.. i wish I had more word of advice... sorry your going through this with your inlaw, sister and your BM.. you need someone to talk to.. vent/cry you will feel soo much better.. and maybe you should just let your MIL invite that 1 person.. if you dont let her bring that person I think she will never forget it and she will just be cold to you for a very long time... in this situation i would just be like(to FH) 'whatever if shes going to cry about it then tell her to f*cking bring her stranger FRIEND to my wedding'

meanwhile you need lots of hugs...

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No she can't have him come. I have let her get away with alot and this is my way of putting my foot tdown and she didn't like it that we said no. She has been insane. She wants this and that and she wa told she can have 80 people. She is almost at 120. I can't believe it. My parents don't have that much money and she didn't even offer to pay for them and when we told her she would have to pay for any ppl she is over then she started to cut. but now its'g oing back up again cause she can't pay for them she said

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Posted by Julybride08

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Posted by hannahshim

it seems like your having a bad month... dont expect anyone to be happy for you.. I learned that through my planning. no ones ever going to be as happy and caring for your wedding.. not even your sister or your mother.. i'm having issues with my sister as well but I'm trying not to let it get to me.. dont let it get to you their just jealous.. i wish I had more word of advice... sorry your going through this with your inlaw, sister and your BM.. you need someone to talk to.. vent/cry you will feel soo much better.. and maybe you should just let your MIL invite that 1 person.. if you dont let her bring that person I think she will never forget it and she will just be cold to you for a very long time... in this situation i would just be like(to FH) 'whatever if shes going to cry about it then tell her to f*cking bring her stranger FRIEND to my wedding'

meanwhile you need lots of hugs...

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No she can't have him come. I have let her get away with alot and this is my way of putting my foot tdown and she didn't like it that we said no. She has been insane. She wants this and that and she wa told she can have 80 people. She is almost at 120. I can't believe it. My parents don't have that much money and she didn't even offer to pay for them and when we told her she would have to pay for any ppl she is over then she started to cut. but now its'g oing back up again cause she can't pay for them she said

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I'm sorry..I don't know what to tell you except...its your wedding!! you have every right to have it the way you want! as for people talking behind your back..they sound extremely jealous...Just try to ignore them, its not worth it to get worked up over..This is supposed to be the happiest time in your life..so enjoy it..i hope everything works out

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

I'm sorry..I don't know what to tell you except...its your wedding!! you have every right to have it the way you want! as for people talking behind your back..they sound extremely jealous...Just try to ignore them, its not worth it to get worked up over..This is supposed to be the happiest time in your life..so enjoy it..i hope everything works out

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yeah it just Suc*ks cause these people are supposed to be your bestest friends and will do anything for you and vice versa and they don't care. it's just so sad.

Take a DEEEEP breath....and another, and another......

People are going to talk, and your BMS are going to drive you nuts...but what can you do about it? FMIL is going to have a liiist of just out there and wrong and inconsiderate - but the point is how are you going to control how they act? You cant!

Put up a wall and remove yourself - you cant corrall all of them and make them be nice or stop what they are doing. Thats who they are. You can control how you are reacting - do dont let it get the best of u - theres going to be so much more thats going to drive u nuts - just dont react to this. So FMIL wants some dude - oh ok well you are controlling the guest list and your parents are controlling the wallet - hes not invited and tune her out. Tune the BMs our. Enjoy this time!

It happens once!

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Posted by Julybride08

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yeah it just Suc*ks cause these people are supposed to be your bestest friends and will do anything for you and vice versa and they don't care. it's just so sad.

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Take that way of thinking and toss it right out the window. Dont think how they are supposed to be- but tune into who they really are and how they are acting.

I had all these thoughts on how my bms were supposed to act - and that was just not realistic - that thinking isnt realistic. YOu see how they are actng - and dealing with it that way will be alot easier.