i dont like my future mother in law

ok maybe ill get in to what happened, in some other post, im too busy studying for final exams lol... [ grad student] but is anyones FUTURE MOTHER IN LAW FREAKING CRAZY??

each day i grow to dislike her (hates a strong word) more and more...and for ppl who know me i am not a spiteful/hateful person, i get along with everyone for the most part, am open-minded and so forth , i mean what im trying to say i dont have 'beef' with anyone i dont have problems or ever get in to fights with ppl etc....

but i just cannot stand my FMIL....shes so twisted, and crazy, i think she has mental issues.... she does one thing but says another...FH doesnt see this, because u know how women are sarcastic sometimes, say things with underlying meanings, make refrences, etc and so forth...


ive never told him bluntly i HATE ur mom, cuz i know that would hurt him, but sometimes i feel like saying seriously shes f----ing crazy!!!

he thinks his moms the best in the world... and i respect that (when i speak to him) i dont make comments (or try not to atleast) hold it in hard ...

but am i the only one othere???

if ur FMIL is nuts, how do you deal with it???

thanks...ps. the rest of his family is AMAZING!!! i love my future bro in laws...they are so funny, his dad's a great man too....its just her

MY FMIL is great and we have a great relationship. BUT I do know what you are going through bc I went through this with an ex. It is very hard, and you do have to talk to your fi. Don't tell him you hate her but politely tell him about things she does that you might not like or feel is disrespectful.

You do have to say something because things can turn badly. My friend is also going through this, and one day she really just exploded.

Sorry you're going through this

I have felt the same way at times... Honestly for the most part, I really like my FMIL, but she is really begining to get on my nerves! FH and I are living with her at the moment, and it *****! I Find it so hard to be nice when my FMIL is such a nit picker, and I can not even walk in the door with out having to explain my whole day to her and with out having to endure listening to her complain about every thing and everybody!

I know it is hard sometimes, but I know that ultimatly FMIL love me, and when We are in our own place with a bit more separation it will get better!

I think that things will get better for you, just try and give yourself some space from her. Also she may need time to adjust to her son no longer being her baby boy, that there is another women in his life.

I hope things get better for you!

It's like looking in a mirror!!! My FMIL IS mentally ill and it is the hardest thing to deal with. FH and I called off the wedding two weeks ago bc of her. It's so hard and I honestly don't know what to tell you.

OK- you need to tell FH exactly how you feel bc he needs to know. Then you both have to come up with a solution together. If he dosen't stick by you it's not going to work. This is the rest of your life we are talking about. And if you wait too long to discuss it then it's going to get to a point where you may just blow up and FH won't have a clue why and it can def affect the marriage.

Good luck and one of these never hurts

i havent blown up yet.....one time he was like 'if you dont like her, dont marry me than' i mean WTH!!! i was so shocked and i remember i cried the whole night...

its not that shes a mean evil person, she just does really sillly tihngs, i dont even know if its purposely or not. i think shes one of those thats afraid to let her lil boy go [FH]. and she doesnt want 'another woman' to come in to his life, thats what im beginning to speculate.

i have a wonderful relationship with my mom! shes like my best friend... i just always dreamt of being that close with my FMIL, if not atleast friendly, yes we are always friendly to each other, ive never been rude to her face etc.... but FH and i fight about it sometimes... shes never told my FH that she doesnt like me or he couldve chose someone else or done better, but she never says anything....about me!! its just weird and hard to explain....i cant map out and explain every situation...but her attitude is sickening to me...

i love FH verrry much.... and i would not want a 3rd person to get in the way so sometimes i bite my tongue! and stay shut.....

anyways good luck to everyone else out there lol

I'm right there with ya, FH's mother never did right by him when he was little and now he feels like he has to 'prove' something to her...we live with her in a split level house. She lives upstairs by herself and has the whole upstairs. We live down and have the bedroom and a bathroom and a living room. We could use the space upstairs b/c FH works midnights and it's hard to work around his sleeping schedule..did I mention she is a chain smoker and refuses to even open a window when she smokes? I am really at the point of losing it, I usually retreat to my parents house but they are selling it and it is very sad sorry this is so long but I've had a really tough day and needed to vent...

i feel your pain is all im going to say lol you are not alone at all! hugs and prays go out to you cause i know how you feel

I definitely can understand

i can relate....

My future mother-in-law died of complications of breast cancer on Thanksgiving. I didn't have time to get to know her well, but I liked her very much, and I heard from many people at the funeral how much she liked me and how she was looking forward to having me as a DiL

Can you talk to your future MiL? Maybe if you go to her and lay it out on the line, saying, 'look, we got off on the wrong foot, can we start over? Because we're going to be family.' Even if it's entirely her fault, take on some of the blame for not getting along, it always sounds better. Because your DF loves her, and you're going to be around her, and life's too short to fight.

she never disrespects me.... especially not infront of FH, FH treats me even more like a princess around her, but its just her comments, she seems so thoughtless, careless, unexcited... we've never had verbal altercations or anything of that nature. just her behavior frustrates me. ex: told her REPEATEDLY to please give me the guest # list of whose coming from her side (cuz my parents are payign for the wedding) 5 months later were still at the same place, i told her im gona book my hall etc, i need to know...i dunno shes so lazzyyyyy....and she does NOT work, FH family is pretty well off financially, so shes home watching movies, or cooking, but hello this is her first son, eldest son, getting married...i thought she would have SOME enthusiasm, and i try to include her too.... but its funny when i STOP including her and stop telling her stuff, than shell start calling me or my mom to find out whats going on....

sorry, i can go on and on about so many lil things, but i guess LIFE is short...and we should jsut make the best of it, thanks to everyone who listened, i just needed to ventt

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Posted by luvabul

but i just cannot stand my FMIL....shes so twisted, and crazy, i think she has mental issues.... she does one thing but says another

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OMG! DO WE HAVE THE SAME FMIL!?

I'm starting to feel the same exact way about mines! The lady is absoTOOTALOOTly crazy! Twisted is an understatement!

Ugggggh! So sorry that you have to deal with that!

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Posted by Pencils

My future mother-in-law died of complications of breast cancer on Thanksgiving. I didn't have time to get to know her well, but I liked her very much, and I heard from many people at the funeral how much she liked me and how she was looking forward to having me as a DiL

Can you talk to your future MiL? Maybe if you go to her and lay it out on the line, saying, 'look, we got off on the wrong foot, can we start over? Because we're going to be family.' Even if it's entirely her fault, take on some of the blame for not getting along, it always sounds better. Because your DF loves her, and you're going to be around her, and life's too short to fight.

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Good point! Sorry about your FMIL!

I should add that I DO love my FMIL. She's just a really strange lady... but I try really hard not to let it get to me.

My FMIL is nuts... I am pretty sure she does have some mental issues... she is just kind of hyper, and really makes a big deal out of nothing which causes her to worry about everything.. so she always has to take some over the counter pills to help her calm down at night. I mean, she is nice I guess... but just a bit crazy. Which is why I am glad she lives 5 hrs away and we only see her once every few months.

I used to not be so bothered by her, but she has a really bad attitude about the wedding, like she actually said she doesn't care...because I guess she is so stressed out or something, and they completely refuse to help, which in itself would be no big deal, but they flat out told me that my parents should be the ones paying for it even though they know nothing about my parent's financial situation. And usually whenever we bring up the wedding, just to tell them how planning is going and whatnot, they change the subject.

So yea... I definately have some mixed feelings about FMIL...and FH knows, and he sees it too, but he is just used to ignoring it all, I guess.

I feel your pain. My FMIL took zero interest in the wedding during the planning. She did not however then call my mother for details. What she did do was get excited about dress shopping and ask me to go with her (which I did), and then the day of the wedding she complained that she looked hideous, she hated the dress, her feet hurt etc.

Now she is just weird. (I could fill a novel).

MY FMIL makes weird comments to about the wedding all the time. Like if someone asks me the wedding date and she is around she will tell them that the weather can be iffy that day. The weather can be iffy any day of the year. Everyone just hopes for the best. Mind you her wedding date was 2 weeks before mine. How come the middle of May is a suitable time but not the beginning of June. Even if she doesn't like me you would think she would want her one and only son to have a nice wedding day. FMILs can be weird!!!!

I also made the mistake of taking her dress shopping with me one time and that happened to be the day I got my dress. She picked out the veil and tells everyone how gorgeous the veil is and my dress is just pretty.

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Posted by luvabul

ok maybe ill get in to what happened, in some other post, im too busy studying for final exams lol... [ grad student] but is anyones FUTURE MOTHER IN LAW FREAKING CRAZY??

each day i grow to dislike her (hates a strong word) more and more...and for ppl who know me i am not a spiteful/hateful person, i get along with everyone for the most part, am open-minded and so forth , i mean what im trying to say i dont have 'beef' with anyone i dont have problems or ever get in to fights with ppl etc....

but i just cannot stand my FMIL....shes so twisted, and crazy, i think she has mental issues.... she does one thing but says another...FH doesnt see this, because u know how women are sarcastic sometimes, say things with underlying meanings, make refrences, etc and so forth...


ive never told him bluntly i HATE ur mom, cuz i know that would hurt him, but sometimes i feel like saying seriously shes f----ing crazy!!!

he thinks his moms the best in the world... and i respect that (when i speak to him) i dont make comments (or try not to atleast) hold it in hard ...

but am i the only one othere???

if ur FMIL is nuts, how do you deal with it???

thanks...ps. the rest of his family is AMAZING!!! i love my future bro in laws...they are so funny, his dad's a great man too....its just her

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Are U sure U're not talkingin about MY FMIL?!?!? I know how u feel... same boat here! only FH feels the same as me she really makes you and sometimes is just pure evil I always say thank goodness I am marring him...not his family LOL