I don't think we're going to make our minimum

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Posted by kahlua716

Aw...I'm sorry Can you take some of our guests? FH invited half of the FD- and you know firemen don't say no to an open bar

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Sure, we'll have a fireman's table!

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Posted by FullersBride

I'm sorry your so bummed!!!

If its any consolation I tracked down my last few guests YESTERDAY and my wedding is in 11 days!!! I ended up adding 10 more people who I thought would not be coming.

Do you have any friends that could bring a date that you originally didn't send a +1 too???

If not, hopefully your RH will throw a few things in for you!!

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My brother had a huge problem with RSVPs, too. One of our cousins never responded. Then she had her BIL tell my brother at his bachelor party that she wasn't coming b/c it was 'too hard on her.' (She was still single and in her mid thirties -- not something I would think is the end of the world or enough to make you not come to a wedding, but this was her excuse...)

Then a day or two before the wedding, she calls my brother and leaves a message on his answering machine that she's so sorry he never got the response card, but OF COURSE she's coming.

She did show up, sat next to me (I went solo) and had a great time... and now she's married an expecting her first child.

We had 3 people who just didn't show up. They gave us 3 meals to take home with us to make up for the food portion of it.
They might do the same for you.

Does anyone else have the problem when you know you are logged in...type a whole response and then they tell you to log in again?? UGG...I just wrote a whole thing and its gone!!

Ok anyway....here's what I was saying...

Try talking to your RH...a lot of times as long as you are sweet as pie, they are willng to work with you. But go in being as informed as possible....run your numbers, see what you are paying extra for the guestst that won't be there, then look at your RH's add ons and see if there is something comparable in price, (martini bar, extra desserts, extra cocktail hour table, extra dinner menu item, ect.). Make suggestions to them...instead of waiting to see what they say!

I work in a restaurant where we do tons of parties and I run into this prob all the time...As long as the clients are not nasty to me, I am always willing to work with them...Hopefully your RH will do the same!

Hope this helps a little!

Good Luck!

I'm hoping we can just add an extra cocktail station onto our menu... or maybe chair covers?

I guess I'll ask on Sunday if there's anything they can do. I'm prepared to pay for the minimum (and hey, at least we don't have to pay extra!!), but I guess it's worth asking!

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Posted by misbran

Does anyone else have the problem when you know you are logged in...type a whole response and then they tell you to log in again?? UGG...I just wrote a whole thing and its gone!!

Ok anyway....here's what I was saying...

Try talking to your RH...a lot of times as long as you are sweet as pie, they are willng to work with you. But go in being as informed as possible....run your numbers, see what you are paying extra for the guestst that won't be there, then look at your RH's add ons and see if there is something comparable in price, (martini bar, extra desserts, extra cocktail hour table, extra dinner menu item, ect.). Make suggestions to them...instead of waiting to see what they say!

I work in a restaurant where we do tons of parties and I run into this prob all the time...As long as the clients are not nasty to me, I am always willing to work with them...Hopefully your RH will do the same!

Hope this helps a little!

Good Luck!

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Great advice! Thank you!

I will do this!

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Posted by misbran

No problem...If you need anything, or any suggestions, feel free to let me know!

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Are there any things they are more like to throw in than others?

I was thinking of paying to add an extra station onto the CH anyway, so I thought I'd ask about that. I will crunch the numbers before we go.

I'm not trying to screw the RH out of money or anything. I know we contracted to pay the minimum, and we intend to, so I'm not going to make a big deal if they don't throw anything in. It would make the blow a little lighter, though.

I saw you were interested in chair covers....that could be a good shot....they cost the RH next to nothing to get from thier linen provider! But you don't have to know that and the RH thinks that they got one over on you! LOL!

Is there a certain cocktail that fits your theme? Are you a fall theme, summer colors, ect?? Maybe choc martinis or hot spiked apple cider or Cosmos or frozen cocktails being passed out on trays or a small station set up for them??

Again liquor, especially mixed drinks cost nothing to make, one bottle of apple liquor will get you 40 spiked ciders...Same with Cosmos and the likes when RH's or Restaurants make them.

But it makes you feel better about getting something extra and the RH is happy to make you happy and still be making out on the deal!

Cold cocktail station, like oysters and clams are cheap too...a bushel of clams is around $80 and oysters slightly more...people think its expensive but I work in a seafood rest. so I know what they pay!

And if they say they need another staff member then to shuck them, you remind them that they had all ready planned on the number of staff based on your minimum and that since they won't need them for table service, they can be used for things like this!

The more informed you are, the better shot you have! Just don't argue with them, they don't have to give you anything, and I'm telling you when clients argue with me, they get nothing!!

Maybe, if you are really lucky, they'll throw in an extra 1/2 hour or hour, I know my RH only charged us $4 pp for an extra hour, see what they're cost is. But then be prepared to pay your other vendors for the time too!

I would go for food/liquor/linen upgrades or add ons...they are your best shot!
Is there a menu item thats an additional fee?? I know at my RH the filet mignon with gorgonzola is an additional cost to add to the menu...maybe if there is something like that you can add that to the menu!

I'll think of more...good luck!

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Posted by Kris0703

Ok, I have a question... FH and I just sat down last night to make the guest list for the first time. We did a couple of lists here and there, but Never put everything together. Well, we are about 40 people over what we really want to invite. We want to end up with about 130 people, so we figured we shouldn't invite more then 150. We are at 190! But now after reading these posts..... I'm confused! If we want 130, can we invite more then 150? I'm just nervous bc I look at the list and I really feel like almost all of these people are going to come! Should I cut my list?

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The usual rule to go by is that 20% of your guests will not be able to attend. Thats the norm, but it is possible that all will be there so you really have to be prepared to go either way!

definitely throw the rules of % people coming vs. invited out the window!!


we actually just called our hall - we are going to be 20 short (including vendors
) they pretty much arent doing anythign for us! We asked for Viennese to be thrown in (we were going to add it on, but i dont want to spend an extra $1500 on no one and then another $1500 on viennese!). then we asked if we could take food home and were told its a liability issue?? um, if im paying for 20 extra meals im at least taking them home.

eta: we had to call our hall three times to find our maitre'd. who never called us back. finally got a hold of our BM. Who said she has to ask another person, who wont be in until saturday

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Posted by Meaghan729

definitely throw the rules of % people coming vs. invited out the window!!


we actually just called our hall - we are going to be 20 short (including vendors
) they pretty much arent doing anythign for us! We asked for Viennese to be thrown in (we were going to add it on, but i dont want to spend an extra $1500 on no one and then another $1500 on viennese!). then we asked if we could take food home and were told its a liability issue?? um, if im paying for 20 extra meals im at least taking them home.

eta: we had to call our hall three times to find our maitre'd. who never called us back. finally got a hold of our BM. Who said she has to ask another person, who wont be in until saturday

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Unfortunately the liability issue is true....Your meals for that day are not prepared to order for the most part...i.e. steaks are partially cooked and then finished off to the correct temp. Say you eat at 7 but party goes to 10 then the food hasn't been properly maintained and runs a risk of going sour, especially fish! If the fish isn't fresh, which most aren't at RH, once its defrosted & cooked, it really has no shelf life...

I'm so sorry that so many seem to be going through this! Check out my ideas from before, maybe they'll help!

Good luck!

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Posted by misbran

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Posted by Meaghan729

definitely throw the rules of % people coming vs. invited out the window!!


we actually just called our hall - we are going to be 20 short (including vendors
) they pretty much arent doing anythign for us! We asked for Viennese to be thrown in (we were going to add it on, but i dont want to spend an extra $1500 on no one and then another $1500 on viennese!). then we asked if we could take food home and were told its a liability issue?? um, if im paying for 20 extra meals im at least taking them home.

eta: we had to call our hall three times to find our maitre'd. who never called us back. finally got a hold of our BM. Who said she has to ask another person, who wont be in until saturday

---

Unfortunately the liability issue is true....Your meals for that day are not prepared to order for the most part...i.e. steaks are partially cooked and then finished off to the correct temp. Say you eat at 7 but party goes to 10 then the food hasn't been properly maintained and runs a risk of going sour, especially fish! If the fish isn't fresh, which most aren't at RH, once its defrosted & cooked, it really has no shelf life...

I'm so sorry that so many seem to be going through this! Check out my ideas from before, maybe they'll help!

Good luck!

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i said id take all steak well done if thats the case. They seriously dont want to budge. Im fine with paying with what we agreed the minimum was (which I am kicking myself for bc the minimum is too high for the particular room). but they refuse to throw anything in (my BM cant make any decisions on her own??) and are acting like they are loosing money. oh please.

This is all really good to know -- b/c we're not out to 'get' the RH. They're in business to make money and we signed a contract knowing the minimum cost. If we can all walk away happy, that would be great. I don't want to make them account for every spare dollar or anything -- I mean, we KNEW what the minimum was and we agreed to that. We had no idea we'd have 40% of our guest list unable to come!

If we get something extra, cool. If not, no biggie. We're still getting married and the important people will be there, which is all that matters.

However, if we can get a little extra to cushion the blow, that'd be great... but I'm not out to make the RH give us tons of stuff. One or two little things would be neat, though. Like I said, I know it's not their fault.

I'll crunch the numbers this week and see what happens. At this point, enough's gone wrong and is going wrong that this isn't worth me getting angry about. I was upset about not making the minimum, but not about the money.

Thanks to all for letting me vent and also for the support and advice.

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Posted by misbran

I saw you were interested in chair covers....that could be a good shot....they cost the RH next to nothing to get from thier linen provider! But you don't have to know that and the RH thinks that they got one over on you! LOL!

Is there a certain cocktail that fits your theme? Are you a fall theme, summer colors, ect?? Maybe choc martinis or hot spiked apple cider or Cosmos or frozen cocktails being passed out on trays or a small station set up for them??

Again liquor, especially mixed drinks cost nothing to make, one bottle of apple liquor will get you 40 spiked ciders...Same with Cosmos and the likes when RH's or Restaurants make them.

But it makes you feel better about getting something extra and the RH is happy to make you happy and still be making out on the deal!

Cold cocktail station, like oysters and clams are cheap too...a bushel of clams is around $80 and oysters slightly more...people think its expensive but I work in a seafood rest. so I know what they pay!

And if they say they need another staff member then to shuck them, you remind them that they had all ready planned on the number of staff based on your minimum and that since they won't need them for table service, they can be used for things like this!

The more informed you are, the better shot you have! Just don't argue with them, they don't have to give you anything, and I'm telling you when clients argue with me, they get nothing!!

Maybe, if you are really lucky, they'll throw in an extra 1/2 hour or hour, I know my RH only charged us $4 pp for an extra hour, see what they're cost is. But then be prepared to pay your other vendors for the time too!

I would go for food/liquor/linen upgrades or add ons...they are your best shot!
Is there a menu item thats an additional fee?? I know at my RH the filet mignon with gorgonzola is an additional cost to add to the menu...maybe if there is something like that you can add that to the menu!

I'll think of more...good luck!

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Posted by Kara and Todd

This is all really good to know -- b/c we're not out to 'get' the RH. They're in business to make money and we signed a contract knowing the minimum cost. If we can all walk away happy, that would be great. I don't want to make them account for every spare dollar or anything -- I mean, we KNEW what the minimum was and we agreed to that. We had no idea we'd have 40% of our guest list unable to come!

If we get something extra, cool. If not, no biggie. We're still getting married and the important people will be there, which is all that matters.

However, if we can get a little extra to cushion the blow, that'd be great... but I'm not out to make the RH give us tons of stuff. One or two little things would be neat, though. Like I said, I know it's not their fault.

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ITA. I wish I had negotiated better in teh beginning, but thats my fault. I also wish I had a crystal ball and knew that we would also have a lot of people say no! For the record, my sister had only 10 no's!! Im telling all my friends who didnt bring dates to go find some