I sometimes wish that I were empty - just blank slate, begin again with all new feelings.
me too. I am haunted by pain from my past. It is strange cause it comes in unexpected spurts - the memories. I know some people who get over things so quickly, and it amazes me. I tend to harp on things - for a lifetime.
If I harped too long, I'd go crazy. And I almost did at one point. The memories I have are crippling. And they do creep up at innopportune times.... but the best part about bad memories is knowing they are OVER.
AND - even better - you survived them. And lived thru them, and now they are only bad memories, and you are no longer experiencing them!
JessicaM.
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Re: I don't understand
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by SuzBride
Posted by JessicaM.
Posted by JanuaryBride06
I sometimes wish that I were empty - just blank slate, begin again with all new feelings.
me too. I am haunted by pain from my past. It is strange cause it comes in unexpected spurts - the memories. I know some people who get over things so quickly, and it amazes me. I tend to harp on things - for a lifetime.
If I harped too long, I'd go crazy. And I almost did at one point. The memories I have are crippling. And they do creep up at innopportune times.... but the best part about bad memories is knowing they are OVER.
AND - even better - you survived them. And lived thru them, and now they are only bad memories, and you are no longer experiencing them!
I would like to add this:
for me, i've always found it easier to be stronger for others...mostly b/c I can deal with anger, indignation...and feel empathy for someone much more easily b.c I don't also have to bear the burden of the pain/hardship that they are going though.
strength, to me, is carrying the weight of that burden as you pull yourself from the depths.
I've always find it easier to be on someone elses precipice, pulling the ropes to help bring them home, than I have digging my fingers and toes into the walls of my own emotional well, while carrying the weight of my own disappointment/hurt/sadness/fear, like the proverbial 2 ton gorilla on my back.
JanuaryBride06
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Re: I don't understand
Last time that you posted that picture, I think that I said that I wouldn't erase any memories - but today, and maybe for the forseeable future, I think that I would like to selectively erase.
But I'm sure that once I pull out, I'll take it back.
superkat
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Re: I don't understand
Posted by JanuaryBride06
Last time that you posted that picture, I think that I said that I wouldn't erase any memories - but today, and maybe for the forseeable future, I think that I would like to selectively erase.
JB, you wouldn't be the smart, witty, wise-a$$ how you are if you didn't have your life experiences. You would be one of the milquetoast wannabe's who would bore me incessantly. I would be forced to mock you and you are too cool for my mocking.
Posted by JanuaryBride06 But I'm sure that once I pull out, I'll take it back.
I had a totally NWR response to this comment but I held it back because we are being serious and deep right now.
JanuaryBride06
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Re: I don't understand
Posted by superkat
Posted by JanuaryBride06
Last time that you posted that picture, I think that I said that I wouldn't erase any memories - but today, and maybe for the forseeable future, I think that I would like to selectively erase.
JB, you wouldn't be the smart, witty, wise-a$$ how you are if you didn't have your life experiences. You would be one of the milquetoast wannabe's who would bore me incessantly. I would be forced to mock you and you are too cool for my mocking.
Posted by JanuaryBride06 But I'm sure that once I pull out, I'll take it back.
I had a totally NWR response to this comment but I held it back because we are being serious and deep right now.
You said milquetoast.
And I did indeed use 'pull out' wondering who'd be the first to comment on it.
Thanks for allowing the break in all of the usual levity. We don't normally do this, but when it gets serious, none of you ever disappoint.
Even when I don't post what's going on with me, I don't know if you all realize how much you've helped me deal with Life as it's unfurled over the last serveral months.
hmpena
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Member since
Re: I don't understand
Posted by JanuaryBride06
I sometimes wish that I were empty - just blank slate, begin again with all new feelings.
I wish this at times, as well. However, I then realize that without my past experiences/feelings I wouldn't be who (initially I typed HOW) I am today or where I am today. As much as it sounds corny, I have to believe that everything happens for a reason.
lipglossjunky73
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Re: I don't understand
Absolutely - we are shaped by our experiences - even the crappy ones - and it makes us the strong, kickass women that we are now....
cindyandkevin
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Re: I don't understand
Wow, everyone's being so deep today. I honestly don't think there's anything for me to add here since so many good points have already been said!!!!
All I have to say is and I you guys!!!!!!!!!
ETS: I do want to add that what doesn't kill us absolutely makes us stronger!!
lipglossjunky73
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Member since
Re: I don't understand
Posted by cindyandkevin
Wow, everyone's being so deep today. I honestly don't think there's anything for me to add here since so many good points have already been said!!!!
All I have to say is and I you guys!!!!!!!!!
ETS: I do want to add that what doesn't kill us absolutely makes us stronger!!
I'd like to add that you can always lighten the mood by talking about your flower. Or laying eggs.
chikita315
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Re: I don't understand
Posted by JessicaM.
Posted by chikita315
I've come to the realization that we don't bounce back. We go sideways. A little wiser, from the hurt, disspointment and shock.
this is an interesting perspective, M-lo
What I wanted to add, but couldn't formulate before was, that while I think we go sideways, it's not that we stay linear. We keep moving, just in a different direction. I, especially after the past year, refuse to believe that I will go backwards.
lipglossjunky73
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Re: I don't understand
What I wanted to add, but couldn't formulate before was, that while I think we go sideways, it's not that we stay linear. We keep moving, just in a different direction. I, especially after the past year, refuse to believe that I will go backwards.
Thats the reason we also have memories - we learn from our mistakes, from the mistakes of others, and our bad experiences... If we didn't have those memories, and had that clean slate, we would make the same mistakes and harmful decisions over and over again... which means we would live a constant life of pain....
The rule I live by is NEVER go back - I never go back to something if I made an educated decision to move on. And chickita is 100% right that we don't move linear. We aren't linear beings. We are cyclical. Everything in life is in cycles, not lines....
JessicaM.
Posted:
Member since
Re: I don't understand
Posted by chikita315
Posted by JessicaM.
Posted by chikita315
I've come to the realization that we don't bounce back. We go sideways. A little wiser, from the hurt, disspointment and shock.
this is an interesting perspective, M-lo
What I wanted to add, but couldn't formulate before was, that while I think we go sideways, it's not that we stay linear. We keep moving, just in a different direction. I, especially after the past year, refuse to believe that I will go backwards.
like diagonally...like we've been diverted off course, but still moving forward...setting a new course to keep truckin along...I like it...I like it a lot.
