I don't want this wedding...

NYCMeghan Posted: Dec 01, 2003 08:45 PM

I don't want this wedding...

I still want to marry my FH but I am so not into this wedding crap anymore. Truth be told I was never really into it. But I don't know what to do...do I call off the wedding and elope with FH or do I suffer through this for another year. I've never had a single event make me so unhappy or cause such stress in my family.....

danigirl0 Posted: Dec 01, 2003 08:47 PM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

planning a wedding can be REALLY stressful when there are too many cooks on the kitchen. maybe talk to your FH and figurte out a way to make it all about you two. and only plan what you want, no pressure. i know...easier said than done. good luck!

franksbride Posted: Dec 01, 2003 08:50 PM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

Danigirl is right...but you shouldn't be suffering...if this isn't right for you, you shouldn't do it and should only do it if you're happy. Stop trying to make everyone else happy and focus on you and your FH.

AtticaQT Posted: Dec 01, 2003 08:50 PM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

Your wedding planning shouldnt be this stressful - you do have some time before your wedding - why dont you take a break for a month or so - Can anyone else that you trust help you plan it -

WHy dont you talk with your FH about this and let him know how stressed you are with all this planning -

J.Lo24 Posted: Dec 01, 2003 08:51 PM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

How does the FH feel? If you both are in agreement, maybe you should. Will you lose a lot of money? It is definitely normal though to have periods where you are sick of the planning. Keep in mind, that when your day comes it will truely be a beautiful day. All your time and effort will pay off. As for the family, I would set the grounds rules and let them know they are adding stress. Let them know they are part of the reason why you want to possibly elope. Good Luck!

JimmysBride Posted: Dec 01, 2003 08:53 PM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

Have a Destination Wedding!! They are FAR less expensive, more intimate, and you are guaranteed to have a memorable wedding with tons LESS stress! Most of these places have entire wedding packages where everything is done for you... all you have to do is basically show up with a dress. Jamaica, Mexico, Sandals resorts, Bahamas.... just think how beautiful. Alot of them include a 'free' wedding package when you book your honeymoon there. Plus a destination wedding doesn't have to mean an elopement, but it assures that only the people who truly want to be there will be there.

If that's not an option, take a break from the wedding plans for a month or so. Really, you have time still. Start a different project and take your mind off of it for awhile. Then come back to it and see how you feel.

Good luck!!

deedee Posted: Dec 01, 2003 08:55 PM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

I have to say that FH and I were just talking about all the stress that we have been going through the last month. I see where you are coming from. We were just saying that we just want it here already. Everyone has their own opinion-whether you want to hear it or not. It's so very stressful. You should take a little break from just planning, don't force yourself to keep doing it.
It will all work out.

good luck

shawl Posted: Dec 01, 2003 09:57 PM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

Meghan, I totally know how you feel. I'm the only one who actively opposed a large wedding, and I'm the only one doing any work! Completely unfair. We don't have as long to wait as you do, but no one would blame you if you cut your losses. I think it's just a question of whether you think you would have regrets - because it might cause problems with your family, because you might actually end up wanting the wedding you're now planning, etc. That said, if I'd known at the beginning of the process what I know now - that I'd be the one doing all the work - I would have absolutely put my foot down from the start.

AtticaQT Posted: Dec 01, 2003 10:21 PM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

Meghan - how are you feeling?? Sending you

NYCMeghan Posted: Dec 01, 2003 10:39 PM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

Thanks, Georgia! I'm still not sure what I want to do. FH is being very supportive. I think part of my stress is from the fact that he is in Virginia and I'm here in NY.

I did look at a lot of destination wedding websites and am going to sleep on it...

Thanks to everyone for all of your wonderful words of support!

aliciahelene Posted: Dec 01, 2003 11:16 PM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

Im so sorry you are going through this!!! If it makes you feel any better, I can relate!!! I never was in a hurry to even get married and when we talked about it two years ago, I was great to go to Vegas, Elvis would have been fine...but FH wanted a bigger wedding, so we started planning it and I have been stressed out ever since..Weddings are sooooo stressful, we are paying for everything ourselves, as are many people on here and it is just really stressful, Fh works a zillion hours a week, so he hasnt had much to do with the planning and I found myself getting very resentful since he was the one who wanted the bigger wedding in the first place, I have thought about cancellling it so many times and just going to a quick Island destination..Id be a hell of alot less stressed out...s I feel your pain!!! I cant tell you what to do, but just know you arent alone, weddings are sooooooo stressful, maybe not for everyone, but for alot of us..so hang in there and good luck with whatever you decide!!!

Xelindrya Posted: Dec 01, 2003 11:35 PM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

I understand.. we eloped and are having our wedding for our one year anniversary..

Hugs

kathleenmarie Posted: Dec 02, 2003 05:49 AM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

Yep its stressfull alright! I thought the same thing several times!! A suggestion......Just take a deep breath and plan this wedding your way and just shut out everyone else. Dont tell anyone what you are going to do so they cant give you an opinion, just do it, and do it your way, or........chat with your FI and work out a way to calm things down, Even if it does mean eloping! Good luck whatever you decide!

janet Posted: Dec 02, 2003 08:23 AM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

you have fm!! sorry if a little long abd good luck!!
that is way they made this for... for us to vent when needed.. trust me i have done this venting stuff and it helps!!

julz33 Posted: Dec 02, 2003 08:45 AM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

I felt the same way a few weeks ago. Now I am taking off from wedding planning until the end of January. So far I feel a lot better and am excited about the wedding again.

jmarshall Posted: Dec 02, 2003 09:09 AM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

Meghan, I feel exactly the same way. I didn't want a big wedding but FH did so I went along with it. It has been really stressful for the both of us and we still have 9 months to go. We are going to go through with it, but FH keeps reminding me how happy we will be when the day comes! I just have to keep remembering that!

septbride Posted: Dec 02, 2003 09:29 AM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

I know how you feel -- I wanted a simple, small wedding but that did not happen. I ended up planning a huge wedding w/ 230 guests basically b/c of my father and DH.

Anyway, now that I am married I would not change a thing about our day!!!! in the end I'm married but I do agree that I got a little more fustrated during the planning process since I was planning the wedding that everyone else wanted!!!!

Donna Posted: Dec 02, 2003 09:44 AM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

I'm not sure how 'big' your wedding is going to be but maybe you can just start letting go a little. I mean don't stress over too many things, just trust your instincts. With the BM dresses, pick a color and fabric, let the girls choose the dress, etc. That's what I've started doing and I find my stress level is low.
I know in my heart that my wedding that will be wonderful because it's all about me and FH. For example my flowers will be beautiful, they might not be the biggest or the best to other people but they're what I want.

I didn't mean to go off on a tangent, I just wanted to let you know that you can try to control this wedding stress.

dgtlsunshine Posted: Dec 02, 2003 09:46 AM

Re: I don't want this wedding...

I just got back from a destination wedding. It was BEAUTIFUL.

If its the distance between you two I don't think a destination wedding will relieve the stress. I spoke to the bride and a lot of the things for the wedding she did not see until the day of that wedding so that can be a bit stressful as well.

Sorry you are going through this. Big Hugs