Brides Helping Brides ™ - I don't want to be surpised!

tourist Posted: Jul 12, 2004 02:57 PM

I don't want to be surpised!

I know I am havinga shower, I don't wnat one, but I wasnever asked.

I don't think I am supposed to know, but I already suspected, and then i saw ' shower response lis.txt' on my parent's computer.

I didn't peek. Only because it wold have shown up on the recently accessed documents list.
And my mom was about to walk in.

I don't like to be surpised. I always figure out the office secret Santa befor ethe Christmas party. If someome surprises, be I feel outsmarted & stupid.

So, I know 95% of my registry gifts have been purchases, so now I always thinking my shower is soon.
I also got a gift from a coworker & the card jsut said' Wishing you a lifetime of happness'
I haven't mentioned it to her or sent a thank you, b/c maybe my FMIL wasn't supposed to give it us .

That coworker is going away this weekend, so maybe it is this weekend, but nobody has tried to make plans or anything.

I don't want to be surpsied. I want to have my nails done!

FILs are away, but I didn't see anythng obvious at their house, like an invite on the fridge or anything when I was there.

I heard my mom whipsering to FH Saturday but he denies it. He said they were discussing his grandmother's outfit.

I think I am going to refuse to go anywhere with anybody untill somebody tells me.

sammi102 Posted: Jul 12, 2004 03:02 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

Oh no... you could say to your mom and express how you feel and tell her that you are suspicious about it for this weekend...

or you coulod already know that there is a very good chance it's this weekend, go get your nails done and see what happens. it's only monday!!

enjoy!

TwoBugs Posted: Jul 12, 2004 03:03 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

I normally hate being surprised too, but I have to say that I had a blast being surprised at my shower!! It was so unexpected and fun.

And now, thinking about how much work my family and MOH put into it, I'm so glad I didn't ruin the surprise by snooping. I think they would have been really upset.

tourist Posted: Jul 12, 2004 03:21 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

I know, I don't want to wreck all their work, but if I am kinda sure & they ask if I as surpirsed I don't knwo if I shoudl say yes, so they aren't disapointed, or saythat I figured it out, b/c I don't wnat peopel ever to think they can pull the wool over my eyes about anything ( I know, I have issues. .)

I think I am going to get my nails done this Friday & probably every Friday

I bought a new dress, not for this but b/c it fir well, so now I want to wear it so I think I am going to have it cleaned & ready.

I'll probably be wearing the damn thing every weekend, no matter where we go!
Gotta be prepared!

JimmysBride Posted: Jul 12, 2004 03:32 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

No no no! Okay, this is what you do --- tell your Mom you are feeling stressed from all the wedding planning and that you planning a little night out with some girlfriends. Obviously, it's gotta be people who wouldn't be involved with the shower so say your co-workers, or better yet, say you are going to an LIW GTG! Tell her it's all night thing on Saturday night and watch the panic wash over her face!

Okay, that's mean. But you get the idea. If she seems very cool with it, wait a day and change it to Friday night. Then change it Sunday... and eventually 'oh, plans fell through, it's gonna be next weekend'

Eventually, you'll figure it out. My guess is it's definitely THIS Saturday. I know what you mean about not being surprised but no one wants to be the one to spoil so you just have to figure it out for yourself by asking the right questions and PEEKING when you SHOULD (how you didn't peek I dunno)

CaCRmr Posted: Jul 12, 2004 03:39 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

I'm dying trying to figure it out but I know once I figure it out I'm going to be so upset. I feel as though it's the first thing with regard to the wedding that I have NO control over and it's killing me. I know I'll be surprised once it comes but I'm not big into surprises! I have a feeling it's either the 17th (Saturday) or the 24th. I'll keep you updated! I want to get my nails done and make sure my hair looks nice and I'm wearing a nice outfit. I guess I'll just get all dressed up for both days and hope I look ok.

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Jul 12, 2004 03:47 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

anyone try flat out honesty?

'mom, i really don't want to be surprised. i want to know when and where my shower is, so that i can be prepared'

tourist Posted: Jul 12, 2004 03:47 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

ooh Jimmy'sbride! You are good at this!

I was thinking of something like that. I was going to say we are thining of goign to Bosotn to vist a close friend, but she'll know I'm lying if she already set it up with FH.

Maybe I'll say a work thing came up , but my boss is probably invited to the shower & wouldn't let me go to a confenence this week.

Then I was thining of saying I was sick, oh, about Thursday. . .

We don't have any plans for this weekend yet.

FH said he would drive down out envelopes to his Aunt on LI for addressing, but I didn't have to go. . .hmmm.

I'malso suspicious about a family function in NJ, on hte 31st, but it would be weird if they had it in NJ, and I wouldn't want them taking away fromy cousin's birthday party.

CaCRmr--You sound just like me.

We're gonna be all dressed up for evey little trip to the supermarket & stuff from now untill our showers!

tourist Posted: Jul 12, 2004 03:53 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

Posted by BMD'sPeanut

anyone try flat out honesty?

'mom, i really don't want to be surprised. i want to know when and where my shower is, so that i can be prepared'

I've tried that with my fiance. He goes back & forth between he doesn't know anything & he'll be in trouble with my mom if he does tell me whatever he may know.

I feel weird comign right out & saying to my mom- i gues Ishoudl have doen it earlier, but she never let onshe was planning one & I didn't want to be presumptious, and at this point, I'm sure htey've tried so hard to surprise me, I don't wnat to completely wreck it, i just want a hint. . .

really I wnat to figure it out, b/c I usually figure everything out.
i don't really want to be told.
i do have a friend who hates surpises so much he said he'd tell me if I really wanted to know, b/c his wife will probably be invited.

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Jul 12, 2004 03:54 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

Posted by tourist

i do have a friend who hates surpises so much he said he'd tell me if I really wanted to know, b/c his wife will probably be invited.

so ask him! you never gave a list of people you wanted invited to anyone?

marymoon Posted: Jul 12, 2004 04:01 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

Don't be a bridzilla. Go along with it..and if and when someone invites you out to brunch, you'll know. The end! Try to enjoy the surprise!

t Posted: Jul 12, 2004 04:04 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

Just Flat out ask.

I wanted to be surprised when I had mine, and my mom was home one Saturday. She normally works. I woke up and asked what she was doing home. She said she was sick. She didnt look sick then I asked if she wanted me to get her anything from the store. She said 'No', Im going out later. I said I thought you were sick she then tells me she has a party to go to. My mother never goes to a party without my father. I go out and come back later and see gifts/boxes with Bridal wrapping paper . Hmmm! You think it could be my shower. So I confront her. She said 'Yes, How did you know?' Hmm! the paper maybe and you change in routine. You think.

Sorry had to tell what my mom did. Again, Just Flat out ask. They also might have just taken the names straight from the wedding guest list.

tourist Posted: Jul 12, 2004 04:05 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

Posted by BMD'sPeanut

Posted by tourist

i do have a friend who hates surpises so much he said he'd tell me if I really wanted to know, b/c his wife will probably be invited.

so ask him! you never gave a list of people you wanted invited to anyone?

No, that's how in the dark I am about this.
If I mentioned it, I'm sure my mom or MOH, would asy, 'Shower, what shower? What makes you think we'd throw you a shower?'

FH has the invite list for the wedding on his lap top, so I assume they got addresses from that.

I may ask my friend--as a last resort. he won't be back from vacation until Saturday anyway. I was tryignto figure it out on my own first.

I want to know, but I feel bad undoing their hard work.

I know I'm being really immature about this this--I'm not in denial about that at all.

nferrandi Posted: Jul 12, 2004 04:36 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

Personally, I really can't understand where you're coming from. Your friends and family have obvioulsy done a pretty good job at keeping your shower a secret, so don't dig for information. Just let it be a surprise and let them feel good that they did it for you. My friends and family can't keep secrets to save their lives, so I know all about my shower and I wish I didn't. Just be glad that they're trying so hard to do this right for you.

tourist Posted: Jul 12, 2004 05:06 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

Posted by nferrandi

Personally, I really can't understand where you're coming from. .

That's probably a good thing.

I have major control issues.

marymoon Posted: Jul 12, 2004 05:07 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

yea, ai mean, let go and live a little! Let them surprise you..it's liberating..it's one more thing you DON'T have to worry about planning, b/c they're taking care of it 100%. And keep your nails manicured anyway..you deserve it!

heidla Posted: Jul 12, 2004 05:40 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

I would just be honest about your suspicions. Remind her how much you hate to be surprised. Hopefully that will get her to fess up.

tourist Posted: Jul 12, 2004 05:47 PM

Re: I don't want to be surpised!

Posted by marymoon

yea, ai mean, let go and live a little! Let them surprise you..it's liberating..

It should be liberating, but it's not.
I can't help it. It's become an obsession.

I really freak out when I am not in control.
I think I am just going to assume evertime I am going somewhere that 's what it is, so I won't be too freaked out.
I'd hate to wreck it for everyone by having a panic attack.

I don't think my mother knows the extent of my control issues, which is funny, since I think I get it from her

I think it's too late to tell her now I don't want to be surprised.