My cousin Brian got married last weekend - I couldn't go - but I sent him a check for $200 with a really nice note - which I thought was VERY generous since I have almost NO relationship with him.
SO today I got a response from him for our wedding - he is not coming - no note, no gift, nothing. To me, it's not about the gift - it's about the thought.
So...I have a question....
When you guys don't go to a wedding - do you send a gift anyway?? I'm just curious - I always do - but all of the no's we got haven't done anything - how do you y'all feel about this??
May152005
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
I always send a gift also. He should have definitely sent something, especially since you sent him a gift.
Snoogie
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
Maybe the 'no's' are going to send you a card and gift after your wedding date.....I know a few people do it that way....
I always send a gift if I cant attend.
keohime
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
yes, we send a gift anyway. Not a huge gift, but certainly a gift. The one exception was my cousin, whose wedding I did not attend because I got sick last minute, and my mom put my name on the very generous gift she gave.
And I still feel bad about it. LOL
Niecey
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
Posted by Snoogie
Maybe the 'no's' are going to send you a card and gift after your wedding date.....I know a few people do it that way....
I always send a gift if I cant attend.
When I got married I found some people sent gifts around the wedding time who could not attend.
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
Posted by Snoogie
Maybe the 'no's' are going to send you a card and gift after your wedding date.....I know a few people do it that way....
I always send a gift if I cant attend.
i agree.
brideinapril
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
I would generally send my response back, no, then when the wedding comes I would send a gift, albeit not as much as if I were attending but a gift none the less. Wait till after your wedding to get frustrated about those things, they might surprise you and send a gift then. Good Luck!
Donna
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
We had a mix. We got some gifts with the no's right away and then we got some gifts from the no's after we were married. And some people say you have up to a year to send a gift, so maybe you will get something from your cousin
Ang&Rich
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
I agree - wait and see if he sends something after the wedding date. Maybe that's how he plans to do it. Although I must admit that it is weird that he didn't send a gift considering that you sent one with your response. There haven't been too many weddings that I have not attended - the ones I don't go to are people I don't like and can't figure out why they invited me - so no gift for them since they aren't invited to mine. I know - sounds petty but it is what it is. When I first graduated school we were invited to a wedding that we couldn't attend and we didn't think to send a gift - I regret that so much to this day.
Jmg11
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
Thanks guys - I feel better....I'll wait and see!
eogara
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
Posted by Snoogie
Maybe the 'no's' are going to send you a card and gift after your wedding date.....I know a few people do it that way....
I always send a gift if I cant attend.
I wouldn't send it with the rsvp saying no...I'd send it closer to the date. Maybe that's what he's doing?
Danielle&Scott
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
WOW I didnt know this. So far every 'no' that we have gotten except for one has not gotten us a gift. I am hoping they are planning to do so after the wedding...Not to sound greedy...
aimerliny
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
Yes, I always send a gift if I cannot attend. Depending on the relationship with the person, sometimes it is not as substantial in comparison to if I attend.
I woudn't get insulted yet though. I do not send the gift with the RSVP. I usually send it closer to the actual wedding date. So your cousin has time to save his face.
Boop2704
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
Matbe he'll send a gift along with his parents if they are going to your wedding. We got a lot of no's and only a handful sent a gift. But the gift didn't come back with the response. The people waited til closer to the wedding and sent us a card with a gift or they sent a card along with another family member. Maybe it will still come!!
BCTM33
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
I always send a gift (either from the registry or a cash gift - usually less $$ than if I actually attended though). I know lots of people that don't think this is necessary though...
Happybride2005
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
Did you send a gift with your response card. Maybe he'll send something closer to the wedding.
DrmnBlnd
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
Most of the No replies we got for our wedding didn't contain a gift, and we have seen the people afterward, and there hasn't even been a mention of the wedding from them. I think people do what they want, and don't even think that a gift is necessary if they aren't coming.
tourist
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
I never thought of sending a gift when I sent teh RSVP. Maybe a note, but I'd defintely send something closer to the wedding. Actually the only one I said no to was a coworker ( getting married in Florida) so I handed her a card w/ $ the last day she worked & wrote a little note saying sorry we can't attend, have a great day, etc.
SeptWed
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
Okay I have been bad with this. I actually said No to a college friend wedding invite. It was right after college, I was broke and I really didn't talk to either of them the last two years of college. I actually hooked them up so I think that might of been why i was invited, but I didn't send a gift because I didn't feel like I was close to her at all.
I actually am inviting family to the wedding that have already responded no and I don't think i will get a gift from them nor do i expect to. I have not spoken to them in over 3-4 years but had to invite them to the wedding because they are family.....
dita531
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Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...
I sent a gift for my cousin (who I'm not close with) for her Bridal Shower. We are not going to the wedding and I already sent back the invite.
A week or so before the wedding I am sending a card with a check for $100. Maybe your cousin is planning on sending a card a little later?
