I don't want to seem like a brat...

Original post by Jmg11

Jul 08, 2004 09:10 AM

but I am so pissed today.

My cousin Brian got married last weekend - I couldn't go - but I sent him a check for $200 with a really nice note - which I thought was VERY generous since I have almost NO relationship with him.

SO today I got a response from him for our wedding - he is not coming - no note, no gift, nothing. To me, it's not about the gift - it's about the thought.

So...I have a question....

When you guys don't go to a wedding - do you send a gift anyway?? I'm just curious - I always do - but all of the no's we got haven't done anything - how do you y'all feel about this??

Scoop Posted: Jul 08, 2004 05:32 PM

Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...

I always send a gift right away but technically they have up to a year to send something. I was still receiving gifts a week before my 1 year anniversary.

bellepoque Posted: Jul 08, 2004 05:54 PM

Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...

We always send a gift. For one friend who was getting married in Memphis I filled out her registry at one of the stores she registered at--I got that one fork or cup that hadn't been bought.

Aga Posted: Jul 08, 2004 05:59 PM

Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...

I usually send a check with the 'no' response...

BriBri529 Posted: Jul 08, 2004 06:02 PM

Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...

I always send a gift, but I have to say, not necessarily along with my reply. Maybe the nos are waiting until it gets closer to or after the wedding . . .

August2004 Posted: Jul 08, 2004 06:30 PM

Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...

I don't think that most people think you are supposed to send a gift if you are not going to the wedding.

Stavia Posted: Jul 08, 2004 06:51 PM

Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...

I know how you feel. When we were married somewhere around 60 people (mostly family!) did not come & we only received 4 gifts, but even worse only those 4 people sent cards & only 1 of those same 4 wrote any note! ( & don't even ask about all the people who failed to even send a response card) And I should add several of these people are my very close Aunts & Uncles who are just plan rude & lack any manners!!!! Honestly, I have gone to every wedding I have ever been invited to, but if I ever couldn't go I would certainly send a gift & at very least a card!

dm24angel Posted: Jul 08, 2004 06:51 PM

Re: I don't want to seem like a brat...

I send a gift...I am all not about money at all, hate getting money gifts and feel weddings arent about that ..BUT...given that you sent them $200 and didnt go, I would be a little upset myself...That doesnt seem right to me..