I feel awful. *long*

I'm one of those people that always tries to make other people happy, even at my own expense, and I feel absolutely awful about what I just did.

The girlfriend of my ex-H who passed away in October has NOT been in the right frame of mind at all since then. She has cut off ex-H's mom and sister and has had jealousy issues with the fact that my son is the sole beneficiary. She thinks that she is entitled to everything, etc, etc. (Oh and by the way, there was NO ring in the suitcase.)

I just found out from ex-H's mom that she has been extremely manipulative about everything, and has disregarded my rules for years. My son is allergic to cow's milk as it gives him breathing problems. She would say 'Oh, he's not allergic to that.' and give it to him anyway. I wondered why he would sometimes come home wheezing.

I don't feel safe leaving him alone with her. Mom instinct.

I had told her that we would bring him by for an x-mas party tomorrow, but after finding out all this information (oh and the fact that she badmouths me behind my back saying, 'Oh, well if his mom would make more money then she wouldn't care if I got part of his inheritance....'), well I decided to tell her that it is not fair to him to have to be stuck in the middle of all this. I told her that she has to take some time to grieve and get in the right frame of mind before bringing it up again.

I know this is best for my son, but I still feel awful.

She just posted on facebook: 'I now have nothing. Merry Christmas.'




This is so not something that I would ever do but I've had enough with people trying to manipulate me and I don't want my son to be put in the middle.

Sorry, vent over.

you need to stand up for yourself and your son.

She has to understand that legally she was only the girlfriend, and is not entitled to anything. even if you made a million dollars, your son would still get all that money from your ex because he was the sole beneficiary.

She does need to get her emotions together, and I do feel bad for your whole situation, but someone like this is only going to tarnish his memory if she keeps it up. and you want to think of your Ex in a good way, and not make it about her

awww

I think you did the right thing....it is not fair for your son to suffer and reap the consequences of her method of grieving

I would do the same thing.

I am sure it will get better in time, she just went through something tragic, give her some time and contact her in a few weeks or month or two

Once the dust settles and she is feeling better about herself and situation hopefully she will understand why you did what you did

I definitely think you did the right thing. Whether it was $10 or $10million, she should want your son to have it. She's an adult, he is just a child and the money can be put towards college or other things.

Understandably, she is having a hard time dealing, but is unfortunately putting you (and by extension, your son) in a difficult position.

But, if she is doing something that harms his health, well then you are right not to let him go. She certainly should never be doing that!

Don't let her guilt you into doing something unless you feel totally comfortable with it!

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Posted by LoveyDovey

awww

I think you did the right thing....it is not fair for your son to suffer and reap the consequences of her method of grieving

I would do the same thing.

I am sure it will get better in time, she just went through something tragic, give her some time and contact her in a few weeks or month or two

Once the dust settles and she is feeling better about herself and situation hopefully she will understand why you did what you did

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ITA!! You're a mother! Mother's have an instinct! You are doing what is absolutely best for your son!

She is at a very difficult time in her life and especially that it's the holiday, she could be a little more fragile.

I'm sure once she feels better about everything, I'm sure she will come to her senses and understand why things happened the way they did.

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Posted by harts2976

That is a hard situation. I am sure she is going through a horrible time, but so are you and your son. If you don't feel comfortable leaving him with her than don't. You need to do what you feel.

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ITA with this sorry lindsay

Don't ever, ever second guess your gut instinct! I completely think you did the right thing. That is so messed up that she would give your son something he's allergic to - NOT OKAY! And I'm sorry, if I lost the love of my life, I would not be worried about an inheritance or bitter that my love's CHILD is the beneficiary. I mean, not to be harsh, but they weren't married. She is not entitled to anything and the last thing you want is for her to treat your son differently or even badmouth you in front of him.

you are doing the right thing.

dont second guess yourself.

GOD FORBID she does something evil to your son in the midst of her depression

people grieving can do .... unhealthy things

her lack of respect for your rules are reason enough to keep her away.

her bad xmas is not your fault and not your problem

i feel TERRIBLE about her loss, but dont let that keep you from giving in to her

GOD FORBID you go against your instinct and something bad happens...or your son gets upset, or hears something negative or inappropriate about you, or his father.


be strong, you have a good heart, but dont let that make you go against your instincts about someone

Im gonna come straight out and be the biatch. Why is she entitled to anything and what kind of person wants to take money away from a child?

If she truly loved your ex she would never think of taking a dime of that inheritance. He loved his son and she should have to.

I remember you feeling so terrible for her.

Its sad but shes showing her true colors. I wouldnt let her see your son anymore. Shes a crappy person. If anyone told me their child was sensitive or allergic to something, id make damn sure theyd never come near it! Thats dangerous!

Children are precious and we as adults are responsible for making sure theyre safe.

Do not feel bad.

Lindsay I understand why you feel bad but you did nothing wrong! As a mother you have ever right to look out for the child's safety and if she was giving him something he was allergic too than she obviously didn't always have his best interest in mind. I think you did the right thing by saying something and I hope that she is able to get herself together and maybe have a relationship with your son one day.

Speaking as a mother your son comes 1st. If she is disregarding your rules and you know that from a reliable source you have every right to keep your son away from her when it is unsupervised.

I would maybe have your son visit if/when she goes to your Ex inlaws.

Sucky situation non the less

It is a difficult situation, but she started down this path long before he died. You need to do what is best for you and yours son.