i feel bad

emcheung Posted: Mar 19, 2008 07:20 PM

i feel bad

I honestly wanted an adult only wedding reception, but didn't want to put adult reception to follow on the invitations. we made it explicitly clear to my family and to his family that we wouldn't be inviting children. i get an rsvp back today that says two kids will be coming. i feel bad telling them that we don't want children there. should i make an exception or should i stay adamant about no children at the wedding. part of me wants to say screw it, let them bring kids because they're coming from out of town. but then i don't want other people to get annoyed that they weren't allowed to bring kids. what do you think i should do?

krisa1129 Posted: Mar 19, 2008 07:23 PM

Re: i feel bad

I wouldn't make an exception. I would just call her and tell her you are sorry, but if you allow her kids to come you are opening up the door for other people. It stinks....

jeanyus27 Posted: Mar 19, 2008 07:23 PM

Re: i feel bad

I have the same issue! We decided to only invite nieces and nephews because i'm very close with mine and his sister is coming from OOT. My cousin, who i invited him and a guest, sent back the response with him and his two adopted sons who are under 13. We have a lot of second cousins that we told cannot come simply because we would end up with 30 kids there! So i had to call him and tell him, i'm sorry, but its just not fair to everyone else, and he was cool about it but said that he couldn' go then. I was like, ok sorry about that, and that was it. I didn't think it was a big deal to tell him, but i do feel bad that he won't be there, but people need to follow whats on the invitation!!

stlmn2u Posted: Mar 19, 2008 07:24 PM

Re: i feel bad

I feel if you make an exception for one, they'll all want to bring their kids....

bluegreen08 Posted: Mar 19, 2008 07:32 PM

Re: i feel bad

Posted by stlmn2u

I feel if you make an exception for one, they'll all want to bring their kids....

i agree.

i dont feel strongly either way, but luckily we have very few kids who would be invited (none of my friends have kids, no close family has young kids, etc). I wouldnt want babies there, i dont really think a wedding is the place, but there are none so its a moot point.

We are inviting my first cousins (15-21 and one's step-bro who will be a mature 8) and then have one OOT couple who is invited with their daughter (maybe 7?) because they would be coming from texas, and are one of my moms closest friends. there are a few other kids in our really really really extended family who wont be invited but i dont think they would really expect to be.

Once you open the floodgates though its hard to start drawing the line. i do understand with OOT guests how it can be hard to leave the kids behind. good luck

FtrMrsV Posted: Mar 19, 2008 07:35 PM

Re: i feel bad

I think you should just call her and explain to her it's an adults only wedding. If you let her bring her kids then everyone who shows up at your wedding my get upset because they were not allowed to bring their own children.