I feel bad....need opinions very long

KRyan1026 Posted: Mar 28, 2005 04:48 PM

I feel bad....need opinions very long

I feel really bad. I am in one of my best friends weddings 2 months after mine, so obviously we are both a little strapped for cash. We went down to RK bridal in the city for find our BM dresses and we both picked ones we liked for the girls (we both have 12 BM). She called me to make sure that I was getting my dress from there and wanted to know the price b/c she was strapped for cash. I know that these dresses will only be warn once, so I called about 15 places to find the best deal. I finally got a place that will get me the dress for under $100 no tax:)

A few weeks after we went to RK she called and asked if I would mind paying a little more money (I assumed a little was no more then $50) if we got her dresses from a store in Westchester where she was getting her gown. I told her I didn't mind (the dress at RK was $117). Saturday I called her store to give my measurements and when I asked how much of a deposit they wanted they told me $125, so I asked how much the dress was....$250!! More then double the cost of the original dress. When my friend called me later on I told her the dresses were double the price and asked if she would mind if I got mine from the cheaper place (same designer). She got very upset with me and explained to me that she laid this on the line when she asked me if explained to her that the dresses were double and she got offended b/c she said she asked me if I would mind spending a little more on it and was worried if I ordered it from somewhere else that it would be on a different die lot. I told her not to worry about it that it wasn't that big a deal and I would just get it from her place. Now I know that she is upset that I even brought it up, but I just didn't realize how much more it was. I feel bad b/c I know how much people have been stressing me out. I just told her not to worry about it. What do you guys think?? I don't want to say anything else about it, but I know she is a little upset w/ me.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Mar 28, 2005 04:58 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

personally, I feel it is incredibly rude to expect the BM's to spend well over $200 JUST for the dress when they will also need to buy shoes, purse, get hair, nails, makeup done, pay for a shower AND bachelorette party! And of course, lets not forget they need to give you a wedding gift.

Not everyone has that kind of money!

Bunnymonkey Posted: Mar 28, 2005 04:59 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

I'm sorry but, why do you feel bad?! She is the one who did not articulate the price difference! Why would she want to spend double the amount on the same dress somewhere else? THat makes no sense. For you to feel bad is really silly - you need to talk to her.

randella Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:00 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

She should have been a little more explicit with how much more the dresses would be-- that is a significant difference... she has BALLS!

Darcy Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:00 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

wow that is a hard one. I am glad that you are not freaking out about this like alot of people would. I am suprised at the price. Sometimes there is a dielot difference, sometimes there is not realy. Should you just go for it and get it somewhere else? That is up to you. Most likely the only time you will notice is if you hold them up next to eachother. Also, if they cost that much more there, they probably cost way to much for alterations.

hmm8191 Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:08 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

don't feel bad. That's really crappy!!

marc_rai Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:11 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

Posted by Bunnymonkey

Why would she want to spend double the amount on the same dress somewhere else? .

Yeah, I don't understand that. My first thought was maybe the store is giving her a big discount on her dress if her BM get the dresses from them? I hope that price include alterations.

I was actually in a similar position with my BM. Their dresses came up to around $200, but I told them that I could find it cheaper from online vendors but they would have to do their own alterations. They all agreed that they would prefer to have the store alter it and so they paid a higher price.

Your friend should have definetly told you how much more it would have been. Double the price is not 'a little ' more. I guess you have to chalk it up to poor communication.
I don't think you should mention it again.

germai68 Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:42 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

Double the price is a lot different than a little more expensive. I agree, she should have been more explicit. Don't feel bad.

bridegirl Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:47 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

Not your place to feel bad!!! You must be a very sweet girl and also a good friend to her, because I would have had a hard time keeping my cool!!! You should just explain to her that you are on a budget (and she should understand, b/c she is going thru that as well) and get the dress wherever you want! Good luck!!!!!!!!

lilacwine Posted: Mar 28, 2005 06:04 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

I wonder if she's getting a discount on her gown due to buying 12 BM dresses at the same place...

Have you spoken with any of the other BMs?

marc_rai Posted: Mar 28, 2005 06:30 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

Posted by lilacwine

I wonder if she's getting a discount on her gown due to buying 12 BM dresses at the same place...

Have you spoken with any of the other BMs?

Girl, you are reading my mind. I will almost bet that she is getting a dicount!

KRyan1026 Posted: Mar 28, 2005 06:34 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

Posted by marc_rai

Posted by lilacwine

I wonder if she's getting a discount on her gown due to buying 12 BM dresses at the same place...

Have you spoken with any of the other BMs?

Girl, you are reading my mind. I will almost bet that she is getting a dicount!

She actually told us that they did not give her a discount even though she ordered her stuff, her moms stuff and all of the girls stuff there. Its not worth the battle at this point. I have so much stress from my wedding that I just don't want the fight at this point. It's just a little ridiculous that she is upset w/ me now. Oh well.

Jamie&MarkSept.'05 Posted: Mar 28, 2005 07:35 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

I think that is a really sh***y thing to do....especially since you were so nice in getting the price down for her....

Even though she says she isn't getting anything out of it, I guarantee she is getting something for buying everything from that store!

BriBri529 Posted: Mar 28, 2005 07:43 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

I would lay it on the line that you made it a point to find a place where her dress would be very affordable and a little bit more is not DOUBLE. I think that is messed up that she did that to you!

AnniesSS Posted: Mar 28, 2005 08:24 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

Paying a LITTLE more is under $50 - as you assumed... but over $100 more is absolutely rude of her to not disclose that when she called you. Don't feel bad - she should feel bad making you pay so much money!

Marisa M Posted: Mar 28, 2005 09:25 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

You shouldn't be the one to feel bad - SHE should be ashamed of herself !!! You went to look together and when it came to HER wallet she made sure you went to the least expensive place while she picked a $250 gown ??? - And i'm sorry, but a 'little' more is not DOUBLE !! A little more is $20 !

steelersforlife Posted: Mar 28, 2005 09:29 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

You have nothing to feel bad about. We (all brides) are working really hard to think of our BMs and try to reduce their costs as much as possible. It is clear that she could care less. I always find that inconsiderate people usually get their just due in the end.

junebride! Posted: Mar 28, 2005 10:35 PM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

Maybe she didn't actually know the real, total price...some salespeople just say 'It's a bit more, but look how convenient' If she's your freinds, you would know whether that's the case or not...

did you explain that double is not a little more...maybe she's angry becasue she was 'taken' by store!

jimmysgrl Posted: Mar 29, 2005 09:34 AM

Re: I feel bad....need opinions very long

Posted by Bunnymonkey

I'm sorry but, why do you feel bad?! She is the one who did not articulate the price difference! Why would she want to spend double the amount on the same dress somewhere else? THat makes no sense. For you to feel bad is really silly - you need to talk to her.

I agree. I think that was extremely wrong of her asking you not to get your dresses at RK because of the $ but then expecting you to pay $250. I really don't think YOU have anything to feel sorry about.