FH & I had a long talk last night, and he feels I should calm down with the wedding plans, since the major things have been booked, and we still have more than a year to go :(
His lecture, sorta took the wind out of my sails, and now I feel blah.
I know wedding stuff is not a 'guy' thing, but still, he doesn't get it, 13 months is not a long time, especially since, one of the most important thing (atleast to me) hasn't been done, and that's finding my dress. It just seems for as much as we have done, there is alot still to do, Invites, BM's dresses, flowers, favors...among other things
It also bothers him, that my parents seem NOTsooo excieted about the wedding plans (in his opinion only) my parents are very excieted, and I told him, it's just my parents and I tend to have our 'wedding talks' when he's not around ( we both still live at home) but I don't think he really believes me.. I told him he should talk to my parents when he's here on the weekends, but he's still really shy around them.. any advice on how to get the bonding thing going with them???
Sorry for the long post.. Thanks for listening...
JZNCK
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Re: I feel blah... semi-vent.. (2005 Brides)
awww... FI told me to calm down too.. I truly have gotten addicted to this site.. but I'm not ONLY planning my wedding, I'm helping others.. I have a year left, but when we got engaged I had a year and 9 months.. everyone though we were crazy, waiting so long.. blah blah blah.. I've noticed that everyone has a say..I went and i bought my dress... GO LOOK.. it's not his dress, you should go look, that is the most important part, besides the hall.. He's just being a man.. My fi is involved, but I am way more involved then him. now he's getting more so, so as it gets closer so will your FI..
As for your FI and his parents.. I definately suggest having an E-party.. with your family and his.. that will get everyone to know eachother.. if that doesn't work.. I would tell, my mom that he is shy, and she needs to pursue something with him.. can you and him and your parents maybe even his parents all get together and have dinner.. Do you feel like your parents are very excited about the wedding?? talk to you r parents. so they can possibly show a little more enthusiasm towards the wedding.. he may be taking it personally.. GOod luck..
eogara
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Re: I feel blah... semi-vent.. (2005 Brides)
They're all like that, at least the ones I know! They don't understand that with so much to do and virtually no help from them it all falls on our shoulders. Try to explain it to him that way - whenever I do FH backs down a little bit. Also, don't let him deflate you about looking for your dress!!
The only thing you might want to do on your end is be conscious of how much you're talking about the wedding vs. other topics. They get bored easily when it comes to this stuff so you may want to taper the 'we have to do...' around him and consolidate it to small blocks of conversation so he doesn't feel inundated.
FLaCaTaCa
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Re: I feel blah... semi-vent.. (2005 Brides)
I got the same lecture last night too!!!!!!!
I was telling him how great this site was and he was all....we have so much time yada yada yada. So, I said fine, in the end, when we have to pay double for things because we waited til the last minute. I will use your debit card and that's it. Then he changed his mind quick. I am having semi nervous breakdowns now and I have lots of time, imagine if he made me wait til the last minute. I evem cried about it last night. These things will happen. I am so glad I can vent to you all though. It's great!!!!!!!!
Kisses!!!!
reed2be
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Re: I feel blah... semi-vent.. (2005 Brides)
Girls don't feel bad. I am getting married in 6.5 weeks and I was getting the same lecture until a few weeks ago. NOw he is finally realizing all the stuff that needs to get down!
JimmysBride
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Re: I feel blah... semi-vent.. (2005 Brides)
I used to get the same lecture (when our date was 4/2005) and I know exactly what you mean about knocking the wind out of your sails. What I did was just stop talking to him about it so much. I figured that he really didn't care how much I was actually doing or not doing -- he just didn't want to HEAR about it because HE felt it was too soon. Men! What do they know!
I DO, however, suggest that you pace yourself. Yes there is tons to do but you do have time (I know you hate hearing that) I just wouldn't want you to finish most of it and then have nothing to do for awhile... then you'll have NOTHING to focus on but the wait.
anjer4
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Re: I feel blah... semi-vent.. (2005 Brides)
mine is excited but has absolutely no idea what needs to be done..he thinks i'm making stuff up because he hasn't been to too many weddings so he hasn't a clue about what is needed..he brings me down every so often but you know what..we know what needs to be done and we shouldn't let them let us down..lets just keep on what we're doing..time flies so don't slow down until you feel you can..
Pookiesangel
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Re: I feel blah... semi-vent.. (2005 Brides)
Posted by JimmysBride
I used to get the same lecture (when our date was 4/2005) and I know exactly what you mean about knocking the wind out of your sails. What I did was just stop talking to him about it so much. I figured that he really didn't care how much I was actually doing or not doing -- he just didn't want to HEAR about it because HE felt it was too soon. Men! What do they know!
I DO, however, suggest that you pace yourself. Yes there is tons to do but you do have time (I know you hate hearing that) I just wouldn't want you to finish most of it and then have nothing to do for awhile... then you'll have NOTHING to focus on but the wait.
I think that's my guy's issue too, he thinks it's too soon.. and soo far away at the same time.. Men! lol I agree about the pace myself thing, only because I will go nuts just passing the months with nothing to do, but it's also in my nature, that when I have a project, I just like to organize and get it done, or else I will wait to the last minute..lol
Thanks girls for listening as always!
LadyPrincess
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Re: I feel blah... semi-vent.. (2005 Brides)
Dont feel alone - they why we're HERE
I too am planning my butt off ... FH is a sweetie & listens to every wedding though - i try to 'cool' it sometimes... smile
I think abt the cake, my gown the tix etc etc etc - i TRULY indersatnd how you feel
Sometime i feel like i will have withdrawal symptons after the wedding LOL
Maybe we could plan & go to brisal shows etc???
FM me if you ever want to talk - i would appreciate the company !!!!!
3.5.5
LadyPrincess
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Re: I feel blah... semi-vent.. (2005 Brides)
LIW -- WE NEED SPELL CHK ON THE SITE !!!!
allaboutthecake
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Re: I feel blah... semi-vent.. (2005 Brides)
I totally understand what you are going through. My FH is exactly the same. When we went looking around for a hall he saw a woman with her mother looking at the reception hall together without her fiance. My fiance proceeded to tell me 'wouldn't it be a lot of fun for you to do all of this stuff with your mom!' In other words I don't want to really be involved in the details of the wedding. When he does try to be involved ....trying to set an unrealistic budget, I am glad that he isn't so involved. At least I have a big family... 4 other sisters and my mom to help...and his mom is a big help too ;).
