I wanted to switch my ceremony to 3pm while my reception is at 7:30pm which I can't make earlier, and I'm getting married on a Friday. I wanted it earlier b/c I want to get pictures after when it's still light. I really don't want to do pictures beforehand. I don't know, it's just important to me to see my FI for the first time in the church. And now I told one friend this, and she was like it's your day, but it's a lot of time in between for people who go to the ceremony. I told another friend who I'm not even very close with b/c I asked what time he was doing his at since it'll be dark for his, and he was like well that sucks, that's so much time in between for guests, why can't you do it before the ceremony? He was like whatever, that's too much time for me. I feel like people are going to be upset over this, and that I either can't get pictures when it's light out, or I'll have to forget about seeing John for first time in church which I really want, and have to see him before for pictures. I don't know what to do.
palebride
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wish i could help, but i have no suiggestions
shelzyp
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Do what you want this is your wedding, if people really wnat to be at the church they will make it there. It is your day, not anyone else's.
btrflygrl
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I understand you not wanting to see him until the ceremony....we are doing the same and willing to give up our cocktail hr for it. From a guests' point of view, you're all dressed up and have all this time to kill...and if you don't know the area.....what are you going to do? It's best to provide ideas in the OOT bags in the hotel rooms, or maybe as a part of the program..is there anything nearby that you could organize a tour of in the meantime (The Vanderbilt Museum or something)...that way your guests can follow each other....
violet
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You know what pisses me off is the one friend who is like how it sucks lives like 5 mins. away from the church, so it's not like he doesn't know the area. There's really no one coming from out of town. His mother said people could go by her house. And it will probably take an hour to get to Leonard's from Queens b/c it's a Friday evening, and there is traffic then.
Danielle
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It's YOUR wedding... and I don't to see my FH before the ceremony either! People can find something to do--and the people who are from out of town can go to your parents' house or to a local restaurant and hang out or somebody's house for chips and dip and conversation.
This happens a lot and what YOU want is MUCH more important than what other people want.
Maybe they can all go casual to the church and then go home, do some stuff and get all dressed up for the reception later.
You are paying so much and stressing so much and doing so much for this day, it should be what you want.
Do you have someone who has a big house who could host some people informally for a few hours?
Don't let other people stress you out!!
luvsun27
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You have to know that because it's a Friday...that some people won't come to the church at all. Your family and close friends will be there...and you and FH. Those are the most important people...and they would be there even if you decided to have the ceremony at 9:00am and the reception at 7:30pm. Don't worry about the others...it's your day and you want it your way...you're entitled! Good luck.
violet
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You are right Danielle about me putting so much money into one day. My one friend said before about the other friend whose getting married who complained about it that his fiance's parents are paying for it all. That's fine, but if you're going to talk to someone who's paying for most of their wedding with their own money for one day, don't tell them that something is a horrible idea. Now I'm just upset and angry.
shelzyp
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I figure the poeple that are the most important to me would be there at a 6:30 am wedding on a tuesday morning.
NYCMeghan
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While I agree that it is your day and you should do what makes you happy, you also need to take into account your guests and not inconvenience them terribly. FH and I really wanted to meet for the first time in Church, but after talking it over with our Photographer and church coordinator it came up that we really couldn't do it and still get pictures with the light we want. I also have attended weddings where there was over a 2 hour delay between ceremony and reception and from the guest perspective it was awful.
Our photographer is setting up a great moment on the beach when FH and I are going to see each other for the first time. Can you talk to your photographer and see if you can work something out that is meaningful? Maybe even a staged meeting in the church with a later ceremony?
NYCMeghan
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What I meant to say also before I hit reply is:
Don't cry - it will work out!
kel2004
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I agree that it is your day and you should have the ceremony when you want. You will regret not having pictures during daylight. I don't even think that is that much time in between. I think that people expect there to be a gap between ceremony and reception.
violet
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If anything, I would rather miss out on pictures when it's light out and just have pictures inside church than see him before ceremony. I just picture it being very hectic, doing the pictures beforehand. Maybe I'll ask photographer if they can still get pictures outside if it's a little dark.
2003fallwedding
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My church was at 2pm and my coctail hour started at 6pm. By the time everyone left the church it was a little after 3. My mom had people back to our house and my inlaws had some people back to theirs.
karen32
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we had a 1:30 ceremony and a 6pm reception. i discovered that a lot of people ENJOYED having the time in between. they were able to go to the church casually dressed and then head home, take a nap, get changed, etc. before heading out. if you have a lot of OOT's, you may want to consider having your family or FI's family host something (my MIL had a little party at a hotel bar between the church and reception).
honestly - if your church is at 3pm on a friday, i would think that a lot of people would not be able to attend the ceremony anyway, so this should not be an issue for them.
you need to do what is best for you and FI!!
good luck!!
jenny2penny
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Don't worry about it. Our ceremony starts at 3:30, cocktail is not until 7:30pm. It only takes about 30-40 minutes max to get to reception from church. The guests can relax, stop for lunch or drinks, go home, change, etc.
unfortunatly for me, my FH parents don't socializa alot and won't hold a mini gathering for guests to go to inbetween, just close brothers of the father.
My parents are going to follow to reception and watch/participate in pictures, so can enjoy cocktail hour in full. Hall said they could provide us refreshments while taking pics.
LImom
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My daughter's wedding ceremony is on a sat. at 2:00, and the reception will start at 6:30. We figure the OOT'ers can go back to the hotel, and the local people can either go home or to my house. My daughter wants us there for the pictures, so I will ask a couple of friends to open up my house and help serve coffee, light desserts and fruit. We did that for my son's wedding, and I've been to other weddings where we had to go to a diner for an hour or so. Honestly, it's not a big deal. People who want to complain will find something to say about everything. Those who want to support you, will do what it takes to share your entire day, even if it means missing a day's work and inconveniencing themselves for a couple of hours. The worse that will happen is some people will skip the church and will see you at the reception. Do what you want and don't listen to others. It's impossible to please everyone anyway. Good Luck.
neesiepie
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I think you shouldn't worry too much about the time difference in-between ceremony and reception. SOOO many people do and have been doing it for years. I never question a bride's decision when there is time between ceremony and reception. As a matter of fact, I expect it, and if the times are specified on the invitations, then I obviously just plan ahead for the time in-between. My cousin's parents had everyone over their house for some appetizers and conversation....another cousin's guests stopped at one of the wineries and did some wine tasting at Pindar. LOL! Your guests will be fine. I personally like the time to change my clothes and freshen up! Do what you want :0) No regrets!
nov2004bride
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Definetly don't worry about it. Do what you want to do. I wanted pictures during the day and I refuse to see my FH before the ceremony. We are getting married the Friday before you at 3:30 in West Hempstead and our reception is at 7pm at Flowerfield in St. James. I figured not a lot of people will be at the ceremony anyway and the people that will be at the ceremony can go home in between and change or just relax before the reception. I stopped worrying about everyone else and have just worried about what my FH and I want. Don't worry about it. Pictures are sooo important to us and I am glad we have so much time in between to take great pictures that will last forever!!!
LisaT
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DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! (and stop asking people )
Our ceremony was at 2pm, and our reception started at 7.
Having so much time in between for pictures and private time with our bridal party was awesome! We pretty much had our own private cocktail party before the cocktail hour began!
Guests were fine - they either went back to the hotel or home and relaxed/changed etc. Or if they had no where to go, my mom hosted people at her house (just coffee & cookies).
It wasn't a problem at all.
(keep in mind, the time goes quickly. Many people stayed at the church to watch us take pictures - we took all the family shots there and had an audience. We didn't leave there until almost 4)
